no superglue this time I used a chainsaw
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| Fri, 05-08-2009 - 4:12pm |
****When I found out my first husband was messing around on me I used 3 or 4 or it could of been 5 tubes of superglue to glue his manhood shut and anchored his thingy to his tummy so if he ever felt the need to hurt another woman again he would think twice about it. My second husband... now... I really love him.... I called Sweet William ... but out of the blue on our 25 wedding aniversary (May 5th) he decided not to come out and play with me all day on our special day .... talk about poo poo hitting the fan.... so I decided to take a path of punshipment less taken by women..... yup I used his precious boy toys he has stashed in our garage for my pure enjoyment while he was off doing whatever macho men do at hardware stores on days which should be set aside for married couples only.
Now ladies don't go turning off your computers… or pushing the next button to go to the next discussion on the board… or pushing that delete option button on your computers because your afraid of what your going to read next... Ha ha ha! Kidding kidding I know you all just love my little but around here so read on it won't hurt you I promise? Just don’t go giving me any of those stink bug eye looks after reading about the story of my horrible 25 wedding anniversary day… ha ha ha! Yeah like that is going to stop any of you from giving me a swift kick in my big girl panties.... ha ha ha! That is why I love you girls you tell me what ya think ....
As you all know I am not getting straight A’s in my class I signed up for at birth titled “health care 101 for your aging body and soulâ€. So when the swine flu made it’s grand entrance into my lovely city this week I had to pack up whatz left of my body and mind and crawl back under the rock for which I came.…. in hopes the swine flu bug would pass me by. Well it passed me by thank God for big favors…
But now in the flu bug's wake it has left me with broken dreams of celebrating the day my life started with William 25 long misserable years ago when I married him (note we do have more good days then bad)... ha ha ha... . Okay so my broken dreams are not as bad as some of yours in your life.... I hear ya... but they are my broken dreams and they mean as much to me as your dreams mean to you. And they hurt me just like your hurts... Now I don't mean to be mean butt... sometimes people think just because my problems are less then others then I should not feel what hurts my heart and shut up about it and let other people talk "who have real problems". Do you girls understand my thinking here... I know I am in a bad mood today...but my heart is hurts right now over some stupid stufff... so help I need some hugs...
Any how... my mind just flited off my orginal story... got to stop and take my Ritalin.... wew okay feel better now... now where was I... oh yeah...my heart hurting
You see my 25 wedding anniversary with William only comes once in my life and that really hurt my heart when I could not celebrate life with him and with our friends who talked me into marrying William compliments of my stupid health problems and the swine flu bug. My dream for a perfect 25th anniversary day went like this... I would ride off into the sunset with sweet William and friends and we would all party away a night like we haven't done in years.... but puff in an instant that dreamed was snuffed out by a pink ugly flu ridden pig bug. And I am pick off big time.
The most horrible part of all this.... like I said earlier... is the fact that May 5 2009 will never come again... in the history of mankind so I can't get another crack at living that day over again. l know I sound like a broken record but that 25 wedding anniversary meant more to me then any thing else on planet earth (excluding sweet William of course). You see I really never thought with my health challengages that I would ever live to see my 25 year anniversary happen let alone.... be out of a wheel chair.... and be able to boogie down to some good ole hawaiian music with out life support equipment straped to my back. This really socks big time girls.... errrr... I am glad I am alive God but give me a break sometimes!
More importantly, above all else ... not in my wildest imagination did I ever think that there was someone out there in the world just for me and be in their right mind and then would marry me... and poof here he sits next to me in life. And what’s makes this dream more astonishing is the fact William loves me enough to stay married to me no matter what crazy things I get myself in to during the day while he works. Now that is pure love that I was cheated out of celebrating about with William on May 5th.
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now this is the good part of my story...
Any how on the advice of my doctors I was told to play it safe and stay home so I would not get this man eating swine flu bug that turned out to be just your average Joe blow flu bug down the street. And after hearing this advice from my doctors I did what only angry ;little girls like me do…. I cried my eyes out … and then boo hoo hoo more until God stopped filling up my water reservoirs in my eyes When the crying got to be a drag.... I then found some big girl panties and put them on and went looking for something to play with in my toy box in this house…. since William decided that instead of playing with me on our 25th wedding anniversary it would be more fun for him to go play with his boy toys at Home Depot and the Ace hardware store around the corner ...... errrrr.... on our special day. Oh boy did that dude tick me off on our anniversary day when he announce how he was going to spend our anniversary day. And most of you girls have known me for a long long long time now so you know you don't want to tangle with a ticked off Hawaiian Chick when she is totally off her rocker.... but on this day William did. Can you believe that?
So you know what I did ladies to get back at William for not wanting be with me all day on our special day???? Welllll...... When my dear sweet husband left the house to go play with his boy toys at the corner hardware store I picked up one of his precious gas powered chain saws ((never to be touched by Hula Girls hands ever if I valued my life … his exact words not mine ladies) and gave our 25 year old bed a little puppy cut chain saw style while he was out playing with his boys toys at the hardware store on our anniversary day.
I bet you think I am kidding ha? well than take a look at the before and after pictures of our 25 year old bed now. William just loved all that grass hanging way down on the top of our bed. Me on the other hand hated the long flowing grass hanging that low off the top of our bed because when I went to make the bed the grass branches would stick me in the eye. I told William over and over again I was going to cut it but he put his foot down and said over my dead body are you touching the thatched roof I built for that bed. That sentence is like declaring war on a tick off raging bull. Well I cut that precious thatched roof of his on our bed and now I feel so much better for doing it. Have you girls ever done something as horrible as this to one of your loved ones and than walking away from it feeling proud of yourself for finally getting the guts to do it? Or am I the only nut case on the board?
All and all Ladies I had a pretty good 25 anniversary day thanks to that chain saw! Ha ha ha! ..... Except for the fact I had to get a lawn blower and rake up all that grass laying all around the bed before William came home ha ha ha!
Now I can't wait for mother's day and see my mean ole racist mother in law again. Boy you would think after all these years ....she could for once..... look pass my skin tone.... and see my heart ha?
Aloha,
Lei
Edited 5/8/2009 4:42 pm ET by hulagirl_leilani

Hey Lei I do understand how you felt. My ex never spent an anniversary with me and I never saw so much as a card. It was the same with birthdays. And yes it does hurt terribly. I think that hurt worse than when I found out he was cheating on me. What did I do?
Hey, Lei, way to go.
Hi Lei
Well I have to admit when you started talking about a chain saw I was ready to hit the next discussion button however I had to see what you had done. If you ask me the bed looks 100% better I would hate that stuff hanging down like that.
My dh and I just celebrated 36 years of marriage in April. Men can be pretty insenstive pigs sometimes and you have to do somthing to make them realize their mistakes sometimes. I have to admit I never took a chain saw to anything during my marriage so far. LOL
HUGS
Well the Dude really ticked me off! ha ha ha! Boy Bernie using a chain saw indoors
Aloha,
Lei
Aloha,
Lei
Yeah!
Aloha,
Lei
Aloha,
Lei
Aloha,
Lei
Your so right they can't. But maybe someday they'll learn not to tik us off Lol.
The bed looks 100% better. Good job.