Scared to death...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2003
Scared to death...
3
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 10:35pm
Anyday know and I'm haveing nightmares,

daymares about the pain I have to endure. I

can't get my mind off it. It is my every other

second thought. I am scared to death to have

to go through this pain again. I am talking

the head coming out and the after pain. I will

never forget what it was like to pee after having

a baby and it was the most painful thing I have

ever felt in my entire life. It was so bad for

me that I had to pee in bath water for weeks

and this was the only way I could go. I am so

scared I almost cry about it. I really hope I

get an epidural. I hope that it lasts so I don't

feel any labor or the head coming out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 11:07pm
No offense, but you seem very negative about the whole pg. Did you have a bad experience with your first? After having both of my kids, I never had a problem peeing. Did you tear? Is that why it was painful?

If you don't want this birth to be like the last, do something about it. Create a birth plan and found an OB that agrees with your wishes, wants, and needs. There is no reason why a birth should be a scary experience. I'm not all about the whole natural birth and be one with the pain thing, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have an enjoyable experience. Perhaps I'm weird, but I don't really recall the pain of pushing my children out. The moment they were born, everything seemed to dissappear and I was so happy.

As for an epidural, put it in your birthplan that you want one and want it to last until after the birth. You'll just need more help pushing the baby out, no biggy.

Try to calm down and enjoy this pg.

Erika

Erika

mom to Michael, Allison, Alexander and

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 11:30pm
Just try to relax, remember being tense only makesit more painful. I remember being in pain with my 1st, I had been cut 3 times and still tore(sorry tmi) and I was in so much pain after that when I had my 2nd child I had just as hard a time with the pushing because I was so scared of the pain. Honestly my second birth was so much easier all the way around. I could have had him out so much sooner if I hadn't worried so much. Try to relax and think about what you've created over the past 9 months and what that beautiful child will bring to your life. Don't take this wrong, but a statement my father-in law once said was "you chose to have that baby, he/she didn't choose you" I think of that everytime I might be having a bad day or something and it seems to make things a lot easier.

I also said with my 1st I didn't want an epidural, but let me tell you I had one with both my children and its a god sense(?). I was induced with both of them and I hear its more intense to be induced, with my next one, I want to try to go on my own. Both time they were done well because I didn't feel much of anything.

Good luck and keep us posted Jen

Jen

Proud Mommy to

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 12:16am
Let me recommend a book -- "The Birth Book." It's from the Searses. I, too, had a less-than-pleasant first birth experience and was becoming fearful that the second would be the same. I had been induced, strapped to seemingly every conceivable device, and not allowed to move around.

When I began to get depressed about the idea of delivering again, a friend recommended the above book. It helped me identify what I wanted and didn't want to repeat, and gave me the confidence get it. I ended up changing doctors mid way through my pregnancy and writing a birthplan that was not a series of "I-don't-wants" but a communication about how I wanted to be handled. (For instance, I wanted to wait as long as I could to try to go without induction. I was induced but when my body was closer to ready, so it didn't hurt nearly as much.)

The system sometimes forgets that we deliver the children, not it. So let your doctor know your fears, and if s/he doesn't work to fix it, change doctors. Find someone who will really listen, not just act like they know best because they're the doctor.

I actually enjoy looking back at the birth of my second. Though it still hurt, it doesn't dominate my memory like it did with the first.

Good luck, and read that book.