05/10... I had a terrible day yesterday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
05/10... I had a terrible day yesterday.
5
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 9:23am
I went to visit my dad. I was only there about 10 minutes. He started as soon as I walked in the door. He wanted me to open a door that wasn't there and move a sofa that wasn't there. He directed me to the corner of the room and insisted that I open the imaginary door. There was nothing I could do but explain that he is in the hospital and there was no door there. Then he wanted me to yank the smoke alarm down from the ceiling and I told him that I wasn't allowed to do that. Then he really got mad at me. He said "Damn kids. Don't ever do anything you want them to do. Wish I'd never had any kids. All you guys want is my money." Logically I knew that it was the medication, the illness, or whatever that was causing him to say these things, but .......emotionally it tore me to pieces. I went over by him and just said that it seems that he didn't want me t visit today and that I was leaving. And, I left. Then I went out to my car and cried and sobbed my heart out. It is so so hard. I don't want to go back if that's the way he's going to be. I know I will, but I don't know how much of this I can handle. Why, oh why do people have to go through this at the sunset of their lives?

Now, I have to put this all behind me and get a menu going because all 4 of my kids and all 7 of the grands will be here tomorrow. Also, I think I'd better get out and mow my yard. With all the rain we've had lately, it's beginning to look like a hay field. Hopefully it will dry out before the rain starts again.

I wish you all bright skies and sunny days. Have a good weekend ~ and I'll work on it too..... kaci

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 10:06am
Dear Kaci, I know exactly what you're going through. My mom said such hateful things to me that I left the room in tears many times. It hurts so bad even though you know it's the medication talking. I pray that your dad will say some kind things to you before he dies like my mom did. It was such a wonderful gift. But if he doesn't try to remember the good times.

My heart aches for you! Your kids and dgks will help tomorrow!

Love and hugs, Darby


 



 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-1999
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 11:39am
Hi Kaci..just stopping in from 'that other board' to say hi and wish you a Happy Mother's Day. Sorry it is so difficult with your dad. That can't be easy.

Hugs

RJ


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 1:21pm
Darby, I knew you would understand after having heard that you went through it with your mother. Even though I knew it could happen and was somewhat prepared for it, it still cut very deep. It sure is hard to hear those kinds of things coming out of a parents mouth. I'm trying to put it in the proper perspective but the tears still well up when I think about it. Oh well, I guess it's just one of the things we have to bear. I too hope that we can be on better terms by the time he departs this earth but, if not, I'll be ok. Thanks for your understanding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 1:30pm
RJ, so nice to see you. Happy Mothers' Day to you too..... kaci

Avatar for mindy46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 2:33pm
speaking about the sunset of life,i pray to god often that if and when its my turn it better be quick,i dont want to lose my mind,or be a burden to anyone,i would like to go out like moses,walking whole up the mountain to be with the lord,but alas it doesnt work that way.

(((kace)))its hard to see our loved ones like this,sometimes at the end we have our full faculties and sometimes not.i saw it both ways in my family!!have a good cry,get it out of your system and go on,you have so much life in front of you and im sure that your dad would agree!!!and although you have such dark clouds in your life rite now your kids and grankids spread enough sunshine to lite the whole earth!!enjoy your dinner,hope it doesnt rain!!((hugs))mindy