Good evening ladies **m

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Good evening ladies **m
6
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 9:49pm
I just wanted to tell you, the Drs finally quit

putting Vern and his mom off. They will not be doing

the byopsy, her tailbone and pelvis even her privates]

are being ate away with bone cancer. She just kept asking

me this afternoon, "Am I such a bad person that the Drs.

don't care and I told her she was not a bad person that

she was loved & to never forget that. Vern finally got

some answers from them and we just told her that it was

turmonal and that if it had been possible we would of kept

her here with us, and she said no way that she is no better

than anyone else and she would not put us through something

like the pain she knows that she is going to be in. I told

her to close her eyes at night just knowing that Vern and I

love each other and we will get through this. She said Betty

just finally knowing what it is she can deal with it. She wants

no treatment just to be comfortable. I just keep asking myself

ladies could I have been a better daughter-law? There is something

so deep inside her that has kept her aloof and almost cruel at

times, I would love to know what it is. Ladies thank you so much

and keep Vern in your prayers. Angels Flying Low tonight. Betty hugs

and many thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 11:31pm
I think honesty is the way to go. Now she can deal with the reality of it all. She obviously loves you because she doesn't want you to suffer with her pain. It's all so hard. I recently went through this with my mom, watching her die and feeling so helpless.My prayers go for her as well as you and dh.

Many hugs, Darby


 



 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 5:54am
Dear Betty - at last you know, and that's better than not knowing! Now you have the remaining time to show her how much you both love her, and each other. Don't worry about the past - no regrets! You did the best you could at the time - and that's all anyone can expect. Prayers and hugs to all of you - Rosemary
Avatar for mindy46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 8:32am
((((betty)))) i am so sorry to hear such heartache for your mil and for you and vern.i will never know why a person has to suffer so before they leave this earth.and dont you start feeling guilty about being a better dil. sometimes mil's keep dil's an arms length away with their attitudes,maybe its because you took her son.you never know!!but what i do know is that you are taking care of her now!!! i will keep her in my prayers!!(((hugs)))mindy
Avatar for daggs170
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 8:55am
(((BETTY))) (((VERN))) No matter what the past has been, let bygones be bygones. She is a good person and is suffering in a way that she realizes that she doesn't want to put you through anymore, that her time has come and she just wants to share some peace and love. I'm sure she is very happy knowing that you and Vern are there for her and your love shows through. It is sad that she has to suffer with this, and I pray for all of you that her time will come peacefully for her and that it won't be long before HE takes her home to her final rest. Love and prayers going your way. Bea
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 10:35am
Betty, I think your questions are typical of one in your situation. "Could I have been a better DIL?" is something I asked myself over & over, too. You know what they say about hindsight... Take comfort in the fact that you'll be able to help her through what's to come. Prayers for you all. Cal
Avatar for judetwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 10:48am
Oh Betty Im so sorry about your MIL...I hope that the drs. are able to keep her pain free...Sending you many hugs..Judi