Betty's day on the golf course, whmmmmm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Betty's day on the golf course, whmmmmm
9
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 9:40pm

just that was enough. The old girl thought I'm a big girl I can walk all 7976 yards no problem. Day started off pretty good and she got a nice long drive on #1 ok now this is looking good, then it hit a tree bounced off the tree hit the cart path (good old slab) then scurried down the path to another tree. Well being about as tall as baby from the ground up I thought lets get this sucker in the air and on the green, but it had to stop and visit the sand trap first. She got out of the sandtrap in one and ended up with a boggie, and Vern god rest his little silver head got a birdie. On the the 2nd hole a fella asked if he could play through with us and Vern joyfully said yes we would love to have you join us, name Randy. Nice fella all 6feet 6 of him, all I was looking at was his buckle and how good he seem to be.


So onward and downward in this case not upward, well girls betty should of stayed in bed, the next few holes were pretty good but after #6 comes good old #7. She had her a drive that even Retief would be proud of, she said goodie I am coming out of the slump and going forward from here. She has this short little chip to the nice little green and pulls out her chipper and gives it her usual nice little chip, Off flies the head of the chipper it goes one way and the ball another and the 6feet 6 guy laughing his Military Capt strips off.


She said behold where is the head of my chipper, Vern by this time is laughing because Capt Randy is splitting his guts laughing and says is something wrong honey? Well I learned a long time ago to just laugh at defeat and you won't look totally stupid. We found the head of the chipper it flew in a sandtrap,  and this sucker broke off the shaft. she got another boggie from total disgust.


We get all the way around to the 9th hole and Randy tells us that he has already played 9 holes and had to start back to Sacramento. He said to Betty Short stuff you made my day I have never laugh so hard in all my Military career, and being the nice little old lady that I am, I said glad to of been of some good use. I get a cart for the back nine, seems when you break your foot and the dr removes the joint its kinda useless, and especially when the dh drives a 4000 lb Creseda on your good foot and doesn't have it Xrayed not wanting to embarress your dh. To hell with the dh my dadgum feet don't work anymore, if they do anymore surgery on them I will be wearing condoms on the rest of my feet. We finish the back nine and I have a little better game, and Vern says honey let little old me buy little old you a nice hamburger and good old fries at the clubhouse. The lady thought i said yes to do you want Jalapeno's on my cheeseburger and I said no way. Well she put to my total dumbness about 2tBS of chopped Jalapeno's on my cheeseburger, my god this was so hot i just about barffed the whole sucker up. Good lord don't they remember when your old as dirt that sometime during the week these little hot buggers are going to leave your body and your going to scream like hell and the firetruck is going to be coming down the road and ask where is the fire and your going to say in my A**. Well that was my day girls, I hope you had a wonderful day and that you did something a lot more pleasant that Betty had. Vern ordered me a new chipper after the salesmen at Roger Dunn's golf got off the ceiling from laughing. I am so glad that I am good natured. Oh and Vern got a tee time for friday, and this time I need to remember that I left baby in the house and at least call Carol, but Carol got to wondering where I was and used her key to let crossed 4legs out and go pee. Sleep the good sleep ladies and be proud knowing that I didn't kill any of our 40 Canadian geese that just love to fly and poop. hugs to all and to all a good night.


 

Betty L. Keep and Angel on your Shoulder & a prayer in your heart.

Betty L. Keep and Angel on your Shoulder & a prayer in your heart.

Avatar for lottie77
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 10:18pm

What a good 'shaggy dog' story!

lottie77~~~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 2:59pm

Dear Betty L:


You made me laugh so much, I cried.

Always, Lou
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 7:31pm
Lottie there is nothing like being the good humor women I guess, We played today and god love us all if a fella vern worked with didn't want to play with us. His name is SNOB bob Mcdonald and I was having a better day and then he said :"sister whats wrong with your game? you use to could golf". So I told vern I wanted to stop and have a cup of coffee and bless his little heart, Snobbob got pissed that we stopped and chatted with verns cousing and he went on. i had a fantastic back 9 and shot a 92 today and thats a good day. No hamburgers at least. hugs

Betty L. Keep and Angel on your Shoulder & a prayer in your heart.

Betty L. Keep and Angel on your Shoulder & a prayer in your heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 8:49pm
Lou don't want to make anyone cry, just laugh. Hey I will catch some of the poopers and send them up to you, if you wait to long to take your shot they will fly over you and poop. Have a dry weekend. hugs

Betty L. Keep and Angel on your Shoulder & a prayer in your heart.

Betty L. Keep and Angel on your Shoulder & a prayer in your heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Sun, 11-09-2008 - 2:59am

Betty:

Always, Lou
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Sun, 11-09-2008 - 11:00am

Lou our son-in law told us about that, he works for the AP and called pam at work and told her about this guy. He thought the fine was excessive and could of done jail time.


These Geese are about 100 deep on the Oaks course and then about

Betty L. Keep and Angel on your Shoulder & a prayer in your heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2003
Sun, 11-09-2008 - 4:34pm
betty i had to ask rich what a chipper was,i kind of knew what a shaft was,thats how golf dumb i am! but either way i was laughing thru your post! i can just see randy laughing,laughing is the best medicine and today ive had my fill..LOL..thanks betty im going to share this story with golfer brother bob...you and vern really make a great pair!! hugs mindy p s jalepenos on a burger..oh my god that would have killed me...

    

                      

Avatar for daggs170
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 12:00pm

Hey Betty, it sure sounds like you had quite a day on the golf course!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 9:04pm
Bea happy to oblige, but don't split a stitch.

Betty L. Keep and Angel on your Shoulder & a prayer in your heart.