History repeating

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2008
History repeating
4
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 8:56pm

The newly married DGrD and DH are already deep in debt, to the point where their only car was repossessed. I learned about all this from his DM. She and I have become friends since the wedding preps. She is only 8 yrs younger than me, but this is her only son. Before the wedding I gave her the cautionary tale of how DGrDs DM spent our DS into bankruptcy and I hoped DGrD didn't repeat. The poor woman showed up at our the day before Thanksgiving and needed advice. The kids were pressing her to give them $$ for a new car, this after she had given $$ for a second car. They managed to find a cheap junker and spend the rest of her $$, the car stopped working 2 weeks after they bought it. DH and I talked with her and advised her to turn off the $$ spigot. She is newly retired and like us, has lived frugally in order to be comfortable in her later years. Her DS has a good job and makes good $$, but DGrD's hobby is shopping. The guy made the same mistake our DS did - assuming all women were like their DMs and ran a tight financial ship. I also learned that DGrD blackmailed the guy into marrying him, threatening him with no visitation with their daughter. I am so disgusted. DGrD has not contacted me since early Oct., the only way I keep up with her is through Facebook. She has turned out just like her DM - all smiles when she wants something, then drops you like a hot potato. The worst mistake our DS made was not fighting for custody of the 2 kids and letting that witch (with a B) have those children.

Sorry to ramble on, but it has really been bugging me.

Jacquie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2003
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 8:49am
((jacquie)) i am so sorry to read this,if its any consolation this is a story that is being repeated in many families,that i know of. kids they want to grow up quickly but do not want to accept the responsibility of their financial obligations,knowing all well that mom and dad will pick up the tabs! we have become a nation of enablers,including myself. i think you gave the dm some great advice,to turn off the $$ spigot. i only wish i had that strength myself. we are doing more harm then good. hugs mindy

    

                      

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 9:45am
I agree.
Avatar for lottie77
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 7:43pm
We almost fell into that trap with the niece who had lived with us.

lottie77~~~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2003
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 9:06am
cal ill drink to that!! min