Anyone Else Feeling OverWhelmed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Anyone Else Feeling OverWhelmed?
5
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 4:44am
I have been a SAHM since my son was born, just over a year ago, and I am still finding it to be overwhelming to keep the house clean and organized, plus spend enough time with ds, plus spend time with dh, and still find a little bit of ME time!! I'm ashamed at how messy my house is! I feel that it's my 'job' to keep the house in order, and I feel like I fail at that aspect of my job!

I just want to know if I'm the only one!!

If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it! (Please don't recommend flylady, because I've been there, done that, and it's not for me...)

Thanks a bunch...

"JanuaryBaby4Me"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 8:30am
I too am a SAHM for 11 months since my Amanda was born. I go through spurts of being able to get the house clean but more often than not I am very behind. You are definately not alone. I just hope that it will get easier over time to get into the "groove" of keeping the house clean and taking care of baby, me & DH!

I've tried making a list of every little housecleaning item that needs to get done in the beginning of the week and crossing off each day as I got one done. It worked well for a few days, I felt accomplished as I got somethings done but then it went by the wayside and I still have that list incomplete!

It is very hard to clean while she is awake because she doesn't want me far from her. I cannot clean floors while she is awake because she is all over them at the same time. I know I should do more during her naps but I use that time as "me" time and usually don't do much big cleaning. It's just enough to straighten up the dishes, mail and day to day issues.

Sorry I can't help, I'm in the same boat!

Colleen
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 8:38am
You know what? Do what you can. I clean the kitchen and it looks great till lunch. Then, lo and behold, it's covered in mashed banana, yogurt and sticky Cherrios!! Then there's all of the fridge magnets on the floor, the Tupperware that I pulled out for my 11 month old to play with and dishes from the lunch that I tried to eat while feeding her! So then, finally it's nap time (for baby) and I'm exhausted. Am I going to clean the kitchen? Or am I going to nap? Or check emails? See, it all depends on how the night before went (did she wake up crying from teething? did I get a poor night sleep worrying about money?) How did the morning go? Did she eat well and play nice or was she fussy and needy?

The point that I am trying to make is this: let it go! It's not the old days when you could clean the house the night before and come home from work the next day and it's still clean! You are home making a mess, non-stop. Like right now, I have to put laundry in, change the beds, vaccuum, clean the kitchen and bathroom and put away laundry from days ago. Sometimes I think that Channel 2 News could do an investigative report on my rat's nest, but, dd is happy and healthy and gets plenty of playtime and love and I get time to myself. I had a mom who cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and never really played with us. It doesn't really matter.

But I feel you, sister, the kitchen is calling to me as I speak.... no rest for the mommy.

Love,

Melissa
Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 1:03am
Thanks, girls! Just knowing I'm not alone is a tremendous help to me! :) I grew up with a mom that somehow balance everything perfectly, or so it seemed. Our house was always spic and span, and I guess I just feel that it's my same standard. I need to quit being quite so hard on myself....But I don't know if I can help it or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 12:18am
I have been a SAHM for six years now and there are many days that I still feel overwhelmed. I have a 14 yr old son with special needs, a 6 yr old son and a 4 yr old daughter. My husband tried to give me the old "it's your job to keep the house neat and tidy" line, and for awhile I bought into it too. But after a few months of running myself ragged and my children constantly breaking rules and fighting to get my attention, I sat down and thought about why I quit my job in the first place. To be a MOM! I didn't leave my career to be Martha Stewart, I left to be the best mother that I could be to my children. I do my best to keep things orderly (I tried Flylady too, but I just can't get quite that organized) I have found that if I limit the amount of stuff that we have to start with, the easier it is to keep things looking relatively neat and tidy. Plus, as your kids get older, they can be taught to keep their own things organized and cleaned up. My best advice to you is, don't worry about having a clean house and take every opportunity to hold, rock, play with, laugh with and love your baby. There will always be dishes to wash or floors to sweep, but babies grow up much to fast. Enjoy every minute of their childhood. They won't grow up and remember how clean your floors were, but they will remember all the time you spent with them. Best of luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 2:50pm

OMG yes, this past week has been awful, got a migraine on thursday followed by some flu-like icky thing then my other 2 were sick and now my third is sick..the house became a freakin disaster!


Basically do what you can, i admit some days i feel like i want to go home as i put it..yeah i know I AM home but you know what i mean lol...i clean up and right behind me is the wreaking crew ie:3 kiddo's


Do what you can, when they are quite young they are even more demanding since they can't go play on their own for a little bit but as they get a bit older they can help you a little anyhow, my 3yo loves helping with washing, bringing the clothes, putting them in the machines etc.


I think what is important to realize is you are doing something raising a child, the housekeeper part at least imo is not the priority.


:)

Pamela Mom Of 3


Pamela Mom Of 3

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