Advice for future SAHM?
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Advice for future SAHM?
| Mon, 02-16-2004 - 5:49pm |
I need help!! I'm 23, pregnant with my first baby, due in September. I'm very excited. My husband and I desperately want for me to be able to stay home with our baby, it's very important to both of us. Me especially. I have worked in day care, and not everyone who does is the best person to leave your child with. We won't have any problem affording it, my husband just got a job as a police officer. What I am concerned about is this. Everyone is telling me how boring it is, and how difficult it is. I'm sure it's the most difficult thing I will ever do....but boring? I know there will probably be times when I desperately need someone other than an infant to talk to, but please tell me the benefits outweigh these times? This is something I really want to do, but I feel like everyone is thinking it's a bad idea. Which makes NO sense to me, I think it's important to do what you think is best for your family, whatever that may be. For my family, I really think it's to have me at home. My mother was at home for all five of us, and I can't imagine not being there for my kids the way she was (and still is) for us. I don't want my children to grow up any other way. Am I stupid to let everyone else get to me? I know not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM, but I really think I can do it. It's not like I'm leaving some great career (i'm a legal secretary) but even if i were a doctor, i think i would stay home with my children if possible. I don't understand when people try to make me feel bad about my decision, like I'm "lazy" or something. HELLO.....it's HARD work, right? There's nothing "lazy" or "indulgent" about it!!! I'm thrilled we are able to do it, but no one seems to think it's a good idea.
HELP. Please share your stories about your period of adjustment, going from working to being a SAHM. And please, if I sound at all naive, I also welcome a reality check!!!
HELP. Please share your stories about your period of adjustment, going from working to being a SAHM. And please, if I sound at all naive, I also welcome a reality check!!!
Thanks in advance!!
Katie


Try it out. If it works for you, good, and if you don't like it, go back to work. The bottom line is that if you are miserable being a sahm, it's not doing any good for your baby. If you need to go to work, you will be happier, and your baby will be to.
Good luck
Lesley
I have an 11 month old girl and I was just telling my husband last night that staying home is SO MUCH more difficult than I thought it would be. I thought (when I started staying home) that I would be able to start some kind of home-based business to bring in some extra money. Yeah, right! Between just trying to feed her, keep her entertained, clean the house and do the laundry...my energy is totally sapped everyday.
I think that moms who work outside the home just don't appreciate that they get breaks! They can go to the bathroom alone! They can step away from the phone....they can (omg!) go out to lunch or sit in their car alone! Then, they pick up the baby from day care, take her home and Surprise! It's already 6 o'clock and there's only 2 more hours before bed time. I have a baby that likes to get up at 5:30 or 6 and goes to bed at 8pm. With MAYBE two naps, about 1 1/2 hours each. That shakes out to about 11 hours (if my math is right) of constant attention, playing, feeding, changing....god, I'm tired just thinking about it.
But, In the end, I get sad just thinking about dropping her off at a daycare for the day. And that's it! That's what keeps me at home. How could I work if I was crying all day? I feel like crying right now just thinking about it, but I'm pregnant again so I feel like crying all the time... ha ha.
So, to sum up: it's hard, it's boring, it's lonely. But it's also amazing, wonderful and rewarding.
Good luck,
Melissa
Amanda
Yes, being a SAHM is rewarding (otherwise, we'd go back to work, right?). My ds is one year old next week and I've been home with him the entire year. I too was working full time for years. Staying home was a big adjustment. And it still is. I've never worked harder at anything in my life.
My advice to you would be to hold on to your identity and dignity. Many SAHM do not get the respect they deserve. My dh has never gotten up in the middle of the night, never babysat, never taken our ds anywhere, nothing. Try to strengthen your relationship with your dh as much as possible before the baby arrives. Make sure you're both on the same page in terms of your expectations.
Check back here often too. These SAHM are helpful.
Love, N