Mother and MIL at odds!! *m*

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Mother and MIL at odds!! *m*
3
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 12:24am
Ok I've mentioned before that my MIL and my mom happen to be best friends they known each other since 8th grade. Well now my mom thinks that we are "favoring" my MIL b/c Haylei sees her more. Well first of all isn't that a little immature? But also my MIL and FIL live about 2 miles from us whereas my mom and dad live in Arkansas(we live in tx)so yeah it is MUCH easier to see MIL/FIL than my parents but I don't know what else to do! We travel to AR at least once every two months so it not like we're trying to keep her out of our life but my goodness shes acting like shes NEVER seen our DD. I'm ready to pull my hair out! Don't get me wrong I love my mom but why is she acting like this!!! Anyway now after that ramble can anyone give me some advice or has anyone had something like this happen to them? What do I say? How do I handle this?

TIA,

Shelby
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 8:36am
well mother's sure are something aren't they? I would just talk with her,, tell her look you live in ANOTHER state,, if you were here or I were there ofcoarse you would see her more. Send her pictures like every week in a card or something have it say to Grandma I miss you or something,, Just keep the commuacation open that's really all you can do,, GL,,
~Kim~,, mom to 3 girls~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 10:45am
GOOD GRIEF!!!

boy that's sounds familiar...

my mom is in AR also (I'm in Fort Worth), and I heard the same line of whining crap from her (pardon the expression - I just got fed up with it). Anyway, I finally told my mom that she could just as easily drive down here as what I could come up there (and she didn't have a baby to stop and nurse every 2 hours). If driving is too hard, then catch a plane. She now comes at least 4 or 5 times a year.

(Sorry if I sound a little harsh, my mother is EXTREMELY manipulative, and guilt trips are her thing)

GL!!!

Desiree

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 11:43am
I had a situation sort of like that after our son was born.My mom lived about an hours drive away,and my MIL lived about 15 minutes away.So of course,we went to her house more often.My Mom didn't like it,but with a little baby,I just couldn't be taking a long drive like that.Well,my parents were only renting the house they lived in ,so they decided to look for a house closer to us.They found one and bought it ,so our problem was solved!I agree with the other post that said she could come visit you more.It shouldn't be up to you to always make the trip to see her.If she wants to see the baby more she should come to your place!I think the idea about sending cards is good too.I would send pictures also.I go through a roll of film every month,taking pictures of the baby,and I order doubles when I have the film processed,then I give them to both of the grandmas,so they can have a nice photo album full!They love it!