Anyone's DH work Evenings?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Anyone's DH work Evenings?
9
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 1:52am
Hi ladies,

I just discovered this board. I hope to join in on the group. I've been a SAHM since May 200 when my DS #2 was born.

My question is about working swing shift. I'm one of the few people I know that have DH's that work swing shift 3pm to midnight. It is making me insane! He refuses to work a day shift. Anyone else in a similar situation? I feel that bedtime is the toughest time of day! Most of the ladies I know stay home with their hubbies after 5pm. The evenings can be a little lonely and a lot more work than mornings with kids. lol


Christina

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 2:38am
Hi Christina

Welcome to the board!!!

I kind of know to a point what you are going through. My dh usually works days, 7:00am - 3:30pm, kind of cushy I know, and VERY nice!!! But he quite frequently takes on an additional shift, and will come home for a few hours, eat, sleep for a few hours, and head back to work in the middle of the night. Or, he will go in later in day, and work well past dd bedtime. In a way It is my fault lol. I am not going back to work, so he takes these extra crazy shifts whenever possible to bring in extra $$$. i do get frusterated because he is at work all day with adults, then he comes home and is tired,and doesn't feel like talking, at the same time, I want him to come home so I can have a 20 minute break to maybe squeeze a shower in every couple of days!!!! lol. All he wants to do is sleep, then head back to work. We have good days and bad days. But it is a sacrifice we made together. All I need to do is win the darn lottery and all problems will be solved!!!!!!

I think the biggest thing I miss is not going to bed at the same time. I loved that before, and it's hard when he comes home at 3:00am, and I am out like alight knowing in a couple hours dd is going to wake up!

Lesley

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 8:45am
Hello ladies,

My husband normally works regular day shift hours. His job is pretty flexible so he can go in anytime he wants between 6 and 9 am and work his 8 hours. The issue is...at work he has been very busy with his project and they allow him to work as many hours as he wants. He chooses to work around 80 hours a week. For our families sake he tries to do this so he can still be home in the evening with us.

For those husbands who complain they are alway's tired and don't want to help you out tell them this.

My husband will get up between 2 and 3:30 A.M. to be at work early so he can come home between 5 and 6 P.M. everynight. Once or twice a week he will work till 8 or 9 P.M. to make up the remaining hours. My husband will come home and fix ME dinner!! (aren't I lucky!!) My husband likes to cook. When it is time for Tyler's bath we will take turns doing this while the other cleans the kitchen. Again, aren't I lucky!!

Now don't get too jelous. Things don't always go this smooth and there are times when I still wake up in the morning with a dirty house.

Take care,

Tanya

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 9:12am
Hi Christina,

I know exactly what you are feeling! My name is Chrissy, I am 30 yrs old, have been married to DH for 10 yrs and he has been on that shift for most of our marriage. I am pretty much used to it by now. But the toughest part is on our kids. We have a DD (9) and a DS (7) who are both in school so Monday through Friday they don't get to see their Daddy with these hours. I am more less a single Mom through the week, I have to deal with it all by myself. Bedtime has never been the tough time with us, they have always went to bed with no problems. The tough time is right after school when they get off the bus (which isn't til 4:10). We try to get homework done and out of the way while at the same time I am trying to help 2 kids, I also have to try and cook dinner. That gets a little stressful. Although I do try to get everything that I can prepared before they walk through the door. Some days that just doesn't happen.

I do know what you mean about the loney nights! Although I did say I was used to it, it still gets lonely. I just wanted to say...Hang in There!!!! ;) And again, I know how your feeling {{{hugs}}}

~Chrissy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 12:40pm
Hi Christina - and Welcome!

Girl, Can I relate! My husband is a manager of a country club, he literally spends ALL day there - usually from 10-10! Of course there are days when he doesnt have to work until 2 pm but then he wants the chance to catch up on sleep. I am solely responsible for the kids, and to make it even more difficult our 3 yr old is my step son. So, not only am I caring for our baby daughter, but my step son too AND I end up having to deal with the horrible birth mother because he is never available to talk to her. I cant make it seem all bad though, fortunetly where we live is very seasonal so, in the summer time he barely works at all - this summer we are taking the kids to Hawaii for 3 weeks. So, half the year we dont seem him at all and the other half hes around all the time. I absolutely lonely, especially after I have put the kids to bed and I am waiting for him to come home .... thank God for the ladies on this board - you will see, they lend LOTS of support! Welcome~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 1:45pm
Hi and Welcom. My DH works 8pm to 4:30 am and out of town. So he is gone from Monday around 1pm and comes home Saturday around 7 am. So I dont get any help frome him during the week at all and it sucks. The kid and I miss him so much. SO I know how you feel. Hang in there. Kerri
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 3:34pm
HI MY HUSBAND WORKS 6PM TO 6 AM I LIKE IT,JOANNE
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 8:02pm
I really dont have a answer for this question like most people.

My dh works 3 weeks away from home and then home 3 weeks.

It is hard when he is gone since I am taking care of a 5 year old and a 12 week old. I wish he had a normal job sometimes.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 7:27pm
I wish my husband was just working evenings....he is in the military so he is gone for the next six months! So it is just me and baby, 24/7!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 12:17am
Hi ladies,

Thank you so much for all of your replies. I am sorry to hear about the dh who can't be at home (military) or those gone for long periods of time. I guess what I'm wondering is, how do I use my time in the evenings? Lol, I guess there's always the computer! The flip side is all of my playgroups are in the a.m. I feel like I have to give up mornings with Dh to see other ladies with kids to play with. And if I don't go out I feel really isolated (when I'm on his schedule). Going out in the evenings is always unpredictable. The kids usually meltdown around 5pm.

Thanks,

Christina