WHEN DID KIDS GET SO MEAN????????????

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
WHEN DID KIDS GET SO MEAN????????????
43
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 8:41am
WELL YESTURDAY WAS NICE OUT,SO MY SON & I PACKED UP HIS TOYS &STUFF &HEADED TO THE PARK.AFTER PLAYING FOR A WHILE SOME KIDS CAME 2 BOYS & A GIRL (BOYS AROUND 4-7 GIRL 12)WELL THEY STARTED TOSSING A BALL TO EACH OTHER,WELL DOMENIC COMES RUNNING OVER SAYING I WANNA PLAY THROW IT TO ME,THET IGNORE HIM ,SO AGAIN HE SAYS PLEASE I WANNA PLAY THROW IT TO ME PLEASE.THEY LOOKED AT HIM & YELLED NO YOU CAN NOT PLAY. I WAS SHOCKED ,AMAZED AT HOW RUDE THAT WAS.MY SON WILL BE 3 IN MAY ,ALL HE WANTED WAS TO PLAY BALL WITH THESE KIDS. WELL I SAID COME ON DOMENIC I'LL PLAY WITH YOU ,NO MOMMY I WANNA PLAY WITH THEM ,I SAID SORRY HONEY THEY DO'NT WANNA PLAY WITH YOU HE ASKED ME WHY > I FELT SO BAD FOR HIM.WELL WE STARTED PLAYING & ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL (NAMED JENNIFER )CAME OVER & WAS JUST WATCHING US DOMENIC SAID DO YOU WANNA PLAY WITH ME!WELL SHE DID SO THE 3 OF US TOSSING THE BALL TO EACH OTHER WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THOSE KIDS (THE ONES THAT TOLD HIM HE COULD NOT PLAY)CAME OVER WITHOUT ASKING JUST DECIDED TO JOIN OUR GAME.... WRONG... I STOPPED THE GAME & SAID LETS GO PLAY ON THE SWINGS I'LL PUSH YOU GUYS(DOMENIC & JENNIFER).I KNOW THAT WAS MEAN BUT I WAS STILL ALITTLE MAD . WHEN DID KIDS BECOME SO MEAN????????/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 10:25am
Hi!

Honestly, I think that you should give the older kids some slack. They were just playing with each other and I don't think that it's necessary that they have to share their game with a "baby". They are just asserting their independence. But I do think that it was okay not playing the game with all of them.

Personally, it makes me crazy at family parties when the adults are playing a game, say, volleyball, and some of the parents want all the little kids to play too. I think that it's fine to say, "No, this is the adults game" or "This is the big kids game". There can be a game later for everyone or a game for just the kids. Kids need to watch and learn sometimes.

Melissa

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 11:02am
I think ever sience I had kids. I mean I know they were mean when I was a kid but it is worse now. That is whay Im homeschooling my DS 8 now and nexy year Im going to homeschool my DS 12 for 7 grade (cause JR High is bad where I live)I think I would of done the same thing as you but I might of said something to thoes mean kids too. We have had some mean high school kids nextdoor to us now they are in collage I think. But dang they were mean and sickos. Sorry for your son. Kerri
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 1:01pm
You did the right thing by not letting the mean kids play with your son.NOBODY and I mean NOBODY KID OR ADULT,is going to be mean to my little boy,without me standing up for him!!!I am his mommy and part of my job is to protect him,and I might be overprotective sometimes,but I don't care!I love him too much to stand back and do nothing.I am glad to know that there are other protective mommies like you,and I'm not the only one.Usually I am a quiet person,and even-tempered,but when someone picks on my son I am like a mother bear!LOL!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 7:28pm
HI I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY. IF THOSE KIDS WANTED TO PLAY AMONGS THEMSELVES THEN THEY SHOULD NOT OF BEEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A PUBLIC PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ALWAYS THAT THAT WAS THE WAY TO MEET/PLAY WITH OTHER KIDS WAS TO PLAY TOGETHER.MY SON IS A VERY ACTIVE FRIENDLY SOON TO BE 3 YR OLD.I AM GLAD TO SEE SOME OTHER PARENTS FEEL THE SAME WAY & THANKS TO THE ONES THAT DO.
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 8:12pm
well Kids can be funny, I mean My girls are like that specially the 5 and 3 yr old,, my 5 yr old always says I am not playing with that baby meaning her 3 yr old sister,, I correct her as to not hurt her sister's feelings but that's just how kids are. I don't know alot of 7 yr olds that would want to go out of their was and play with 2 or 3 yr olds specially if they don't know them,, take it as a life lesson unfortunly kids will be kids,, GL,,
~Kim~,, mom to 3 girls~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 11:08pm
Hi I can relate to your problem I just posted a problem about kids being mean unfortunatly in my case it was my niece... But I can correct her so that is lucky. I agree with you not letting the older kids play. There is no excuse for being mean. My son is 4 and he is very out going and friendly to other kids still I have seen certain times when he was kinda left out and it hurts my heart. It is a shame that kids have to be so mean... I am a stay at home mom so I hope that I influence him well unfortunatly kids often do what they are taught or see. My sisters little girl will intentionly be mean to my son she will not let him play with her things or just out and out be mean to him. My sister and I are very close and our kids are the same age and they do love each other but I just wonder why she tries to be so mean to him. My sister is like me and she thinks that her daughter picks this up from her daycare because there is a little girl there that is very mean to her. For example one day she went to nursery and the little girl told my niece that she was not her friend and that she was not going to play with her that day. they are only 4 yrs old....they also have a kinda clic at the nursery where if that little girls other friends arent around my niece is fine to play with but other times gets left out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 7:22am
Hi!

I'm sorry that you disagree with me, but I think that there is a flaw in your logic. You say that if the kids don't want to play with your child, then they shouldn't play ball in the middle of a public park. Does that mean that I shouldn't have a picnic in a public park unless I bring enough to share with all of the park's attendees? That's just silly!

If those kids were mine, I would encourage them to let the little boy play for a while. I'm sure your son is very nice and friendly. But, you just cannot expect older kids to want to play with a 3 year old. They are not being MEAN (unless of course, they were actaully mean and yelling and cursing at your little one, but you did not state that in your original post), they are being kids and asserting what little independence they have. Maybe they are always made to play with a little brother or sister or cousin at home and playing in the park was their way of taking a break from entertaining.

Melissa

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 8:49am

You know, the same thing happened to us yesterday at the park.


My son saw a boy playing ball, one he brought, and he wanted to join. He refused to let him play, but teased him with it.


If I were not a grown up, I would have popped him one for treating another child like that.


I say if you bring toys then you should share, since you know other kids will be there.


I don't know why the parents let them treat others like that and then get upset if their kid is treated the same way.


You did the right thing :)

Mel


Andrew 3-4-99


Dalton 12-4-03

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 12:31pm
I understand the Mom protecting the cub syndrome. No one is mean to my children with me around. But it is also unfair to think that "older" children should have to have a younger child play with them. Especially if it is a child that did not come to the park WITH them. I don't go sit at someone else's table at a restaurant- that's a public place too.LOL I also agree with the fact that you had every right to deny them the chance to play with you, once you had your game going.

Unfortunately your post made it sound as if it was a personal insult that your child wasn't allowed to play with the others, and that you denied them the chance to play with you later to spite them. I got the impression that it was okay for you to rebuff the other children BECAUSE they were "mean", but that goes against the "public place" theory. If that isn't how it was meant to be--I'm sorry, but that's what I "heard" from your post. I honestly don't think the others were being cruel- they do not know your child and have no obligation to spend any time with him, nor do they need your permission to say no to him. As much as we'd like everyone to yes to our children all the time it does not happen. When they tried to join you later...you did the right thing by not allowing them and you had every right to use the situation as a learning experienceor teaching experience. Something like "if you had of been willing to accept us as a part of your game , then I would ge happy to have you join us." or "I'm sorry but this is a private game and we do not wish to include others at this time." There is no better way to get your point across than to be polite and courteous when you object to others. Shelley
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 1:08pm
OK KM=NOW THIS HAS BECOME REALLY SILLY IF YOU WERE HAVING A PICNIC WOULD YOU HAVE IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SWINGS &SLIDES.THESE KIDS WERE PLAYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARK WHICH IS WERE THE SWINGS &SLIDES ARE,THERE IS A HUGE FIELD OF GRASS, A BASKETBALL COURT AND OTHER PLACES TO PLAY BALL (AS LIKE I DID AWAY FROM ANYONE THAT COULD OF GOT HIT WITH THE BALL)I WAS BROUGHT UP THAT IF YOU WERE PLAYING &ANYONE ,ANYONE THAT WANTED TO PLAY OF ANY AGE PLAYED.WE HAVE KIDS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT WILL RING OUR DOORBELL &ASK IF MY SON WANTS TO PLAY ( 5,7,9,& EVEN AN 11 YR OLD).BUT NO I'M NOT SAYING THAT EVERYONE SHOULD PLAY WITH MY SON,I WAS SAYING THEY DID NOT HAVE TO BE SO MEAN ABOUT IT YELLING NO YOU CAN NOT PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO SORRY NOT THIS TIME( & MY SON WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE THEY DID THAT TOO, NOR WAS I THE ONLY PARENT UPSET ABOUT WHERE THEY PLAYED)

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