Hving a hard time here..m

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Hving a hard time here..m
4
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 2:53pm
Things are just not going well at all. Im sick of my Dh being gone all week long. The kids and I miss him. My DS 8 is having all knds of problems. Yesterday he goes to church for choir and he just starts acating up and running around like a mad man. He wound not even listen to Grandma (my mil) I just have no idea what to do with him. Im starting to feel like I suck at this mom thing (with DS 8) the other two I have no problem with. Well my DS 12 does get rude sometimes but nothing no other kids do. Im so sick of being a single mother. I want to be with my DH so he can help with the kids and I can have a break every now and then. But that wont happen any time soon cause we cant afford the rent where he is. And my house lookes like a tornato hit. Last week my back was hurting really bad so things did not get done. Half the time all I want to do it cry latley. This is just getting to be way too draining. Sorry I guess I just needed to get it out. Kerri


Edited 3/3/2004 2:55:34 PM ET by kerrichris
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:04pm
Kerri-

I know how you feel. Sometimes it does just feel better to get it out. I had a hard time last week, my youngest ds had double ear infection and the other 3 were going nuts. I fumed on the msg boards and instantly felt better. Just know that you are not alone. All of us go through tough times as a mom. Do not beat yourself up-even though it is so easy to do. My dh does not travel for work but his job is long hours so I know what you mean about feeling like a single mom. Good luck!

Amanda mom to 4 Alia:10 Kamran:8 Shaina:4 Sean-e-Ali:11mos

mohsin6mosiggy thanks to Bianca(volt

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 10:27pm
Awww I am so sorry. I kinda know how you feel though I don't have any kids. My DH works 11 hrs a night...and when he gets home he goes straight to bed..then he sleeps till its time to eat and get ready....so I really don't have any time with him..he might as well be gone all the time.. But luckly he is switching to days next week..so I will get to see him more and we can start working on that baby..LOL! Anyway... maybe if you want to give up being a SAHM..you could move there and get a job... But you have to look at whats the most important thing for you. Or maybe you could move there and babysit kids..and earn some extra money to help with rent. And don't worry about the tornado..I mean house..LOL... do what ya can do and what doesn't get done..doesn't get done. That's all you can do. Your older kids could help around the house. Make them clean up after theirselves..they sound like big boys. Give em chores! Their future wives will love you for it..LOL! Because they will know how to do stuff around the house. Hope this helps!

Christy

Avatar for jake1298
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 8:27am
Kerri,

I know your pain! My DH has started a project out in Idaho and will be gone every week until October. He'll be back in town on Thursday night after the kids are in bed and leave on Sunday morning. We get to see him Friday night and Saturday. I get no real breaks at all. Try to find the little times for yourself. You should have a little time while the kids are at school. Take that time to pamper yourself with at least one indulgent thing every day. I agree that your kids are old enough to do some things around the house. They should be old enough to even understand why you need just a little bit of help. If they aren't used to doing chores then start them off slowly.

You know what I've found that helps? If everyone is having a really rotten day the best thing we can do is get out of the house! Take the boys to an arcade, movie, whatever you enjoy. If I waited until my DH were around to do these things with the kids, my kids would miss out on so much. I'm sad that my DH isn't able to be a part of so much of what our kids do but right now it's just not possible. I'm trying to make the most of what I've got. But, I feel your pain. I miss my DH too. There are times I just want to scream and cry. I sometimes do. It feels good to be able to release it. That's why I try to find active things to do with my kids. Is 8 years old enough to take to a paint ball place? I bet you could work off a lot of aggression there! (I know nothing about the safety of those things so excuse me if they aren't appropriate...my oldest is only 5!)

I also know how you feel about wanting to get away for a little while. I don't have many people that are will to watch my 5 yr. old, 2 yr. old, and my 7 month old at the same time. Most already have at least 2 kids of their own, schedules of their own, or other issues that they can't watch my kids. It really stinks. But, you know...venting really helps. Keep posting!

Melody

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 2:08pm
My husband is usually home by 5:00, and my house STILL looks like a bomb went off - so don't beat yourself up too much. There should be cleaning elves that come along with motherhood - magical little creatures that scurry around at night, cleaning, washing, and putting away the damn laundry!

Can you get your mil to come by for a few hours one night, just so you can get out of the house for a while? Even if you just go for a walk, or out for a cup of coffee. You'll feel totally renewed.

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