How did you know you wanted

Avatar for colejbmom
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Registered: 03-27-2003
How did you know you wanted
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Tue, 03-09-2004 - 7:59pm
another child? DS turned two last week and already people are starting in on 'when are you going to have another?". The thing is I have NO desire for another especially right now. A group of mommies I know got together a few weeks ago and it was literally- those with babies sleeping all night already have another or are planning one while those with little ones up half the night are like- no way! Iwas just wondering for those who have more than one- did you feel an intense desire for the second one the same as the first? I am TOTALLY not feeling a thing yet. I LOVE my DS but feel like I am just getting some time for myself. Most people say three years apart is a great way to go but that would mean getting PG pretty soon. And you can't even tell someone you're not sure if you want another one! Anyway, enough with the rambling, just wondering how you would know you are ready for another baby!

Jill

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:09pm
Well I dont have kids yet........But I just wanted to tell you......Don't have another baby..because other people tell you too. Wait until you are ready. U are the one who decides how many years apart is the best. When they ask..just tell them you don't know...when you are ready you will let them know..LOL! Maybe they aren't pressuring you..maybe they are just wondering when you are going to have another one. Because I have asked people..when they are going to have another baby........But I never did it to pressure them.......!

Good Luck

Christy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:19pm
Well I knew just because I knew. How did you realize that you wanted the first?KWIM. Take your time, tell people that the time isn't right for your family, smile and then change the subject. Trust me IF you decide that you want another one...you'll know. I knew I always wanted more than one and one day I said lets let it happen, when it happens. I looked at my DD and said she needs a brother/sister (got the brother---I still think I'd like another DH says no...we'll see!LOL). It's hard to explain it's like trying to answer how did you know that your DH was THE one?! I just did. Good Luck Shelley
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 2:42am
I know it's different for everybody, but for me, I just knew. A few minutes after she was born I wanted another one. People told me the feeling would pass once I got home to sleepless nights etc, but it hasn't. DD is now 9.5 months old. I am planning on ttc in June/July 2004. If you aren't ready, you're not ready. It is no one's business. My sister has a 3.5 year old, and is just now starting to debate whether or nor she wants to ttc #2. It could be a few more years before she makes up her mind, if she ever does. Don't worry. If you want to, you will, if you have reservations, you will wait.

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Registered: 02-22-2004
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 7:57am
I am 30 and have a five year old. My husband and I agreed we would only have the one child after the sleepless nights, diapers, etc. It just hit us both that we are now "feeling" ready for another. I am now pregnant with our second due in October. Never doubt yourself. You are the only one who knows your patience level and organizational skills. When you feel you are able to cope with another child in your life you will know.

Melissa

Avatar for cghnasa
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 7:58am
my answer is kind of ironic. 4 weeks ago people were asking if we were ready for another one we were saying no we arent. well it turns out that I was 2 weeks pregnant then. we wernt ready but I guess God was ready for us to have another one. I'm still wondering about DD brianna being ready but she will just have to adjust. we are potty training , because I will not have 2 in diapers ! and I think she is ready for PT. I used to see people with tiny babys in the store and want another then DD would act her spirited 2 yr old self and I would think um I cant handle one how in the heck am I going to handle 2 !!!! mine dosnt sleep all night eather and gettign her to bed it HELL. but I guess we will be ok . I dont think you ever really KNOW you are ready for another baby.

Beth,Brianna (12/30/2001), and Jr (edd 10/28/04)

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Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 8:09am

I agree witht he first response to your post.


Do not have more children because people think you should. You will be the one having the child and taking care of it.


If you are not ready, then don't feel bad. Some people just have one child, and some have 5....


I have a 5 year old and a 13 week old. When I had my first son, I had no desire to have more.


I got my time a lone for me when he got older and fufilled a lot of what I wanted to do, that is when I decided to have one more. But it might 10 years or less or more for you.... or maybe even never.


Just let your heart tell you when, and not other people.

Mel


Andrew 3-4-99


Dalton 12-4-03

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 8:10am
Hey Jill,

I have a DS who is almost 3 and a DD who is 9 months. I did not want kids period until I had turned 25. I got pregnant with son when I was 20. I was really scared when I found out,but then I was very excited. Now when I found out I was pregnant with DD My son was only like 15 months(?). I did not want another child so soon. I said once he was 3 I would try again. Well it didn't work that way. Yes for me being pregnant the second time was totally different. I wanted my son 100% and my DD the whole time I was very wishy washy. I know that sounds horrible but it's true. But now that's she here I couldn't imagine life without her,she's my lil' Pretty. So if it happens it's ok. And if you think to wait would be the best time then it probably is. Because having another is 100 times the work then the first. But of course it's worth it. And remember God will give a baby whether you want one or not. Good luck.

Sheri

Jeremiah 4-21-01

Eloura 6-2-03

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 9:22am

Don't have another baby because people think you should.

Dona

Mommy to CJ {03.21.03}& Chantel {08.10.95}  Step~Mom to Carrington {08.12.92}

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 9:52am
Hi!

I knew that if I was going to have any kids at all, then I had to have 2 at least. My brother and I are really close and I just didn't feel right about the only child idea.

But we did get pregnant ALOT sooner than expected!

DD is going to be 1 next week and new baby is due at the end of July. So, I'll have 2 in diapers, 2 in cribs...but I figure, I'm 30 and it will be all over with soon. I had a hard time picturing going through it all over again in a few more years anyway.

I agree with everyone else, though. You will truly know if you are ready.

Melissa
Meldi
Avatar for colejbmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 1:08pm
Thanks for all of the responses!

I guess everyone is different and I will know when and if I want another. I know if I got PG I would adjust and do just fine but I am not planning to have a baby because of outside pressure or to provide DS with a playmate. My younger brother and I are 4 and a half years apart. My personality and DS are very much the same. He is very pleasent but very active so I guess that is why my Mom waited between her kids. My friend has a 2 year old and eight months old and said she wanted it that way to get it done with but that is not the way I feel so everyone has their own feelings. I just wondered if I would feel the same desire when the time is right. I guess I will wait and see if it comes! Thanks again for all your honest replies!

Jill

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