New to Group & Separation Anxiety
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| Tue, 03-09-2004 - 8:41pm |
We have a terrific DS and while some days are really, really tough, there are others that are downright heavenly (which doesn't mean no crying, but it means everything seemed to fit). Anyway, the last week I've had trouble with DS because of (1) teething and (2) separation anxiety. At least that's what I'm calling it. He's fine when I'm holding him or feeding him, but if I put him in his saucer, his playpen, his playarea on the floor (which all used to be fine and very entertaining) he starts hysterical screaming. Even if I stay for a minute or two (or 10) he screams, probably because he knows I'm going to eventually have to get up and attend to other things.
I have no problem letting DS cry. But it has to be within reason. I'm sensitive to him but also want to prepare him, even now, for the world of indepedence (after all, that is my main goal, isn't it?). But this crying thing has me torn. What am I supposed to do? Hold him? Doesn't that spoil? Doesn't that teach him that crying will get his way? Am I supposed to walk away and come back 5-10 minutes later after he's figured out it's ok to be alone?
I could really use the advice and suggestions, whatever worked for you or someone you know. I can't guarantee that I will use it, but having some other feedback other than "You make those kind of decisions" will be refreshing. Thanks!

Paige
Which I know youv'e heard from other posts, the teething is probably the problem. But another thing I try and tell myself is that babies and toddlers have bad days just like us. Haven't you ever woke up in a really bad mood? I know I have .lol. My DD is very independent and that's exactly how I want it. But yesterday she was teething pretty bad and I showed her more comfort and some time. I know when I'm not feeling good I have to snuggle my husband for comfort. Same thing. And I am very big on independent babies,but sometimes just pushing out all that crap we learn from books and from what many countless mothers have told us in the past about what is best for baby,do what you think your baby needs. If your son wants you and he's not feeling good, tend to him. Not that i'm saying your not.lol Good luck.
Sheri
Jeremiah 4-21-01
Eloura 6-2-03
and now heres my advice YOU CAN NOT SPOIL A BABY UNDER A YEAR OLD. its just not possiable. at 7 months he NEEDS you. dont be so quick to push him to independance you will regret it later. They grow up very fast and if you blink its over. get a front carrier , take him with you when you do laundry or dishes or what ever he will love it, it gets him involved and introduces him to cleaning early ( A VERY good thing LOL) . talk to him explain what you are doing. but dont let him just sit there and cryyou dont what him to get the idea that if he crys and he needs you you wont come. right now its very important for him to know that you are there. heck having him with you will make the chores fun.he might just need that extra security of you holding him while he is teething.
((HUGGS))
Beth
Beth
I don't remember how bad some of the first teething bouts were, but the last time my ds had a tooth break through, he was pulling on me and wanted me to pick him up for about 2 days straight. I'm pretty sure we used Tylenol, so maybe I'll try Motrin next time.
Anyway, I did get a little relief a couple of times a day when I popped in Baby Einstein videos. Distraction seems to work for my ds. I also take him out for strolls in the neighborhood, since that makes both of us feel better.
It should pass...hopefully soon.
As for your DH, that's a tough one. I too have a DH who won't do much around the house. You should sit down with him when DS is asleep and have a heart to heart talk. Tell him you're feeling very overwhelmed by everything and you would like to know if he can take over one or two tasks (the bills, the dishes, some grocery shopping, etc.) so that you don't start pulling your hair out. Don't accuse him, just ask for his help. Also, be prepared to have things done his way and not yours. You'll sometimes have to bite your tongue when the dishwasher is loaded/unloaded differently, but the important part is that he's helping.
Good luck!