Too sensitive??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Too sensitive??
8
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 2:42pm
My husband went out of town last night for a funeral (his aunt he didn't know. He is just supporting his mom - her sister). I called him the next morning just to say hi and when I told him I missed him he said "I haven't even been gone 24 hours yet.." in an annoyed tone. I didn't say anything and then he said, "I'll be home tomorrow," still in an annoyed tone. It hurt my feelings and when I told him he got annoyed with me. I got upset, so he got pissy with me. He said I was having an emotional breakdown even though I never even raised my voice with him. I was just trying to explain to him how I feel. I called him an insensitive jerk in return. Am I being too sensitive?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 3:21pm
I personally do not feel you are being insensitive but being that I am a military wife, my DH has been gone an awful lot in the almost 6 years we've been married. So being gone a day for us is a big deal!

Good luck & I'm sorry he's not understanding your feelings! I hope he comes around!

~Debra

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 3:27pm
No.I don't think you are too sensitive.My Hubby usually comes home for his 1 hour lunch break every day,and one day,he wasn't able to come home for his break.When he got home at the end of the day,I said"I missed you today.",and he smiled and gave me a hug.I think it is sweet to say you miss him.My feelings would have been hurt if my DH had responded the way your DH did!I think he should be happy that you missed him and enjoy being around him!I don't blame you for being upset with him.Oh well,one thing about men,they seem to do things like that without thinking.After he knew he hurt your feelings,he probably felt bad,but was just to proud to admit it!Maybe he was stressed out and didn't mean to say that,but I totally understand how you feel,cause I would feel the same way!

Heather
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 4:50pm
I hate to be the voice of dispair, but did you ask him if maybe the death effected him someway. Maybe he was hurting for his mom or saw his mom in a light that he never saw before. Maybe something happend to make him on edge. And Guys are usually not very sensitive. Especailly if getting affection of that type is comming from left field. Do you often tell him things like that? Was he upset because you didn't go? Maybe too many people asked him where you were. That might have put him on edge.

Anyway I would try to make amends with him.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 8:56pm
I talked to him before the funeral. He drove in the day before and went straight to bed. He got up, ate breakfast, and had just finished when I called. He was just watching tv in the hotel.

I was planning on going, but he didn't want me to go. Plus my mom had been planning to come visit at our home, so I stayed home to be with her (my mom offered to come at another time so I could go, but husband told me to stay) He doesn't even get along with that side of the family. He said if he has anything to do with it I will never meet them. Besides that, it was an8 hour drive. We have a 14 mo. old and the weekend would have been hard on him. He is just getting over a cold.

When we were getting off the phone he said some people he didn't know were showing up and he needed to be by his mom. I said okay and I love you and we hung up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 5:48pm

Do you think that maybe you took his tone the wrong way??


I am asking that because last week my DH was away on business for the first time in over a year.

Dona

Mommy to CJ {03.21.03}& Chantel {08.10.95}  Step~Mom to Carrington {08.12.92}

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 7:50am
Thanks for your replys. I talked to him that night before I went to bed and told him I was still upset over that morning. He said I miss you now, so I asked what changed and he said "It's been over 24 hours." It was at 22 hours when I talked to him that morning. MEN!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 8:55am

If this isn't 'normal" behavior from him, then let it slide. Cut the guy some slack. He's got alot on his mind. He's got a funeral, mom to support, traveling, strangers to meet, details to monitor, and it sounds (since he doesn't want you to meet them) some dysfuntional family stress to add. He probably didn't get much sleep. It's hard to sleep in a different bed than you are used to. At home, MIL (that he isn't fond of) is coming to his house, the kid has been sick.

Posted by:

Rhonda

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 9:34am
I don't think you are being too sensitive. I would be upset too. I would say to just try and talk to him when he gets back.

Good luck,

Stacey