Would you let your in laws take.....*m*

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Would you let your in laws take.....*m*
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Sun, 03-14-2004 - 2:30am
Your child for three days? Haylei is almost 3 months old and my MIL and FIL want to take her with them on a little "vacation" to Arkansas. I trust them and know they would never do anything that would put her in danger but still I worry. I breastfeed exclusivly but I guess I could always send some formula with them,do you think that would confuse her? Would you let your in laws take your child for 3 days?

TIA,

Shelby

SAHM to Haylei

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 8:44am
I'm not sure if I would have when I was breastfeeding, but after that I would have no problem with it. I was never asked when my son was that young so I don't know for sure. If you don't mind your baby having formula now just enjoy the 3 days with your hubby!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 10:18am
No way! DS is only 8 weeks, so maybe in another month I'll feel differently. I'm not worried that they couldn't take care of him - I'd be too worried that I'll miss one of those 'firsts'.

Michelle

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 11:16am
No I wouldn't but that is me. The thing I would be concerned about is breastfeeding. Will your baby even take a bottle? How will you know if she will adjust to the formula or even take it? At three months my DS wouldn't take either the bottle or the formula. Are you prepared to pump for three days to keep supply up and are you prepared to stop BF if your baby prefers the bottle. I would think that if she is very attached to breastfeeding this would be an awful tramatic way to wean if all does not go well. Do you visit the BF board? If so you could post there and see if anyone has any experience with this. I only left DS for one night yet when he was 17 months and he was weaned at 14 months so I don't have any experience with pumping to keep supply up, etc.

HTH,

Jill
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2004
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 12:44pm
Have you ever left him before? Im thinking 3 days will seam like an eternity for you. He would probably be fine, but would you? If youd get to missen him, that is a long time to have to wait. I wouldnt do it, and like they said, "are you prepared to stop breastfeeding completely if this causes a prob? If you are thinking that the break sounds a little nice, Id start with one that isnt quite that long. But that is just my oppinion. Whatever you do, just remember every mom is different, and the important thing is that you are not putting him in harms way (you know he'll be in good care) Its just what you are ready for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 1:09pm
NO WAY!This is just my opinion,of course,but when my son was 3 months old I was breastfeeding him exclusively,and he WOULD NOT TAKE A BOTTLE!I hate to tell you this,but she will probably refuse the bottle,and cry the whole time.Not trying to scare you,but it is a real problem if she has not taken a bottle on a regular basis yet.I am just now weaning my son,who is 6 months old,to a bottle,and it is a slow process!Also I think a 3 month old is to young to go on a very long trip.My son still has not gone on a trip for longer than one hour.It would be a lot of work for your in-laws,and probably too much for your daughter at this age!Well good luck with what ever you decide!

Heather
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 1:53pm
At three months old and exclusively breastfeeding? Over my dead decaying corpse, perhaps.... ;) Yeah- that was a little harsh, but... At three months I wouldn't go away (or send DS away) for *one* day, let alone *three*, and if I were able to breastfeed, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that- which three whole days off the breast definately would... (Heck- at that age, three whole *feeds* might well confuse her! ONE might!) Anywho- not to be overly pessimistic, but personally- no- I absolutely, positively would *not*. I might, of course, decide to go *with* them, but that's a different story ;) But, even barring the breastfeeding issue- I'm not planning to let *anyone* take him overnight without one of us, DH or myself, until he's at least a couple/few years old.



Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 7:03pm
I nursed exclusively for a year. While I would have loved the break, it would not have been a good thing. Several reasons:

1) A 3 month old, regardless of the feeding method, is too young to be taken away from their primary caregiver for that long. Of course, I think a 3 month old in daycare for 8 hours is too long, but that is another issue altogether! LOL Too young in my opinion.

2) While many babies can make the adjustment from breast to bottle and back again without a problem, I would think that for 3 solid days without you she would get too used to the bottle. For a meal or two sure, but not for that long. Remember, most bottles flow very easily and she might just get used to it and when she comes back she may not want to "work" for her dinner.

3) Like the other posters said, if you don't pump for that time, you will most probably stop producing or at least produce a lot less. I don't know what your plans are, but if you made it 3 months, do you really want to go to formula because of this?

While your in-laws are well intentioned, I think that this is too soon. If your child was older, I would have no problem, but this young, I would not do it. Explain to them that this is not an indictment on them but that you don't want to interrupt the nursing process. Offer to go with them! Maybe you could stay in another room and they can have the baby most of the time. You can sleep in while they get up in the morning with her. During the day you can have some alone time or maybe go to a spa. Then you would only be missing one or so feedings a day.

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
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Registered: 04-17-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 8:57pm
First of all, let me say that I am all for letting children have quality time with their grandparents. My three boys frequently go to spend several days at a time with my parents and my in-laws, and it's wonderful for everyone - my kids get to be spoiled by their grandparents, the grandparents get to enjoy their only grandchildren, and I get a break!!! LOL

That being said, I think that 3 months is too young to be away from mom, ESPECIALLY when it's an exlusively breast-fed baby. I just think that the baby would have too much trouble trying to take a bottle (unless you're planning to go ahead and wean immediately). I think that it would be too stressful on your child AND on your in-laws, who most likely would be dealing with a screaming, starving baby the whole time.

My advice would be to wait until your child is completely weaned, and THEN send her off and enjoy the peace and quiet! Good luck!

Paige (mom to Harper, John, and Gib)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 1:27am
At 3 months and exclusivly breastfeeding, I would not. I know it's only for a couple days, but it's a very important time for the 2 of you.

What happens if they get on the road and she won't take the formula? How will they feed her then? You could pump and freeze it, but will they have a freezer in the vehicle at the right temp to make sure it doesn't go bad... how would they defrost it?

Or, what if she does take the formula, and comes home and refuses breast milk?

Also, unless you pump while she is gone, it is likely that you may lose your breast milk supply, or it may diminish greatly. If it were me, I would tell them to hold off a few months, then they can knock thier socks off...I needed a weekend break around 8.5 months!!!

Just my opinion.

Lesley

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 1:31am
I exclusivley pumped from birth to 8 months because my dd refused the breast from the moment she was out. If you decide to let them take her, and choose to pump, let me know, I have lots of tricks.

Lesley

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