4 or more kids??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2004
4 or more kids??
6
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 8:04pm
just wondering how your lives have changed since the large family. i tell ya, i love having lots of kids and hubby. but i feel so disconnected from the mainstream world most of the time. from looks in the stores to comments, even on the net of 'wow, you have a lot of kids', or 'boy, i can't even imagine, i have 2 and i'm stressed'. comments that don't make me feel better, etc. i've lost friends over this. many of them. we just see things differently i guess. how have you been treated over this? sometimes i feel like i'm doing wrong, or something. like i'm alien to the norm. nicole
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
In reply to: nikimcn
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 9:35pm
Hi! I have 6 kids. I know what you mean about the comments. I get them all the time.

How old are your kids? Do you have anyone that can watch them for you some? Or at least half of them? lol It helps to get out. I take my older boys skating some on the week ends. They skate and I visit with the other parents. Its nice! Or my girls and I will go shopping. I don't have anyone that will watch the kids very much so most of the time I do these things while hubby has the other kiddos!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2004
In reply to: nikimcn
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 8:53am
hey there. my kids are 10,8,2 and 1. so the ages are so spread it's hard to find something for all of them. skating sounds like a good idea for the older 2. but yes mostly it's just me watching them. i need to get out more without them, i know that. i need to find a reliable babysitter.
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nikimcn
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 9:08am
Hi there! I have 3 girls but I also do daycare and I feel like I always have 5 or more kids,, but my 3 are spread out too,, 12, 5, and 3,, and everyone will think it is sooo easy having that age diffrence but I say um no way!! My oldest 12 has nothing in common with a 5 and 3 yr old, and she does alot with school, dance, workshops, etc. so I am always taking her where she needs to be and still try to have things for my younger two to do! My problem with commets are 3 girls?,, are you gona have a boy''?,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
In reply to: nikimcn
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 10:15am
Hi! It is hard finding something for all the kids. I have taken them all Roller skating before. Its not easy but they all had a great time. My almost 2 year old LOVED it. He cried when he had to take the skates off. lol

Do you have a cousin, sister or close friend that you can go out to lunch with? I got with my Mom, younger sis, Aunt and cousin and we go out to eat one week end. We try to do this every 2 months. We get time away from the kids and get to catch up on whats going on with each other. I know how you are feeling right now because I was just there. After my last baby was born we stayed here at home most of the time. He had colic and was just an overall fussy baby! I was too tired to do anything and too stressed not to. I needed to get out! The baby is now 10 months old and walking and its getting easier.

Hang in there! It will get better!

Oh, just have to ask. Do you ever get the comments "don't you know what causes them" or "you guys need to get a TV"? UGH!!!!!! I even had someone , while I was with my Dad, ask him if he didnt explain the birds and bees to me. I turned sooooooo red! I wanted to crawl under something and hide!!! That was the worst!

Take care!

Holli

Avatar for irishcoffee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: nikimcn
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 7:26pm
I have 4 also ... a 14 yo boy and 3 girls ages 12 and 2 @ 8.5 ! My problem is I get sarcastic right back at the rude ones ... for instance I had one lady come up to me when I had the twins in a stroller and a kid on either side of the stroller and say better you then me and I said "ABSOLUTELY< they'd really hate having you as a parent !!" She was highly insulted, but I think she got the point. I also had a lot of comments how lucky my older ones were to have "twins", they didn't feel all that lucky, twins take an enormous amount of time, so I'd comment back that they twins were the "lucky ones" to have such a great big brother & sister. I also got the double trouble and my comment would be "Do you think that is funny because it rhymes ?? Or did someone TELL you it was funny" Or are they ALL yours ?? "No, I found/stole (whatever my mood) two of them but I'm not giving them back !!" I probably sound b!tchy but stupid comments deserve some sort of response sometimes otherwise they bug the next person with a lot of kids .....

I had someone ask me which twin was the evil one, this was when they were about 6 months old and I told the person I was glad that they didn't understand yet because she was a horrible person to ask such a thing about babies. I was also asked if the twins were conceived on the same night, and I said "Yes, this twin was session 1 and this twin was session 5 !!" Her jaw was to the ground, and I have a funny story to tell and hopefully she won't bother the next mom of twins with such an insane comment !!

Just an idea, if your kids have friends then let them each have a friend over and then when you recipocate and they take you kids try to corridinate the same timing ... this seems to be working now that mine are in school and the twins have their own friends ...

Some people are idiots and they say things without even thinking that the kids could be hurt, if you have a comment back, (doesn't have to be nasty like some of mine, lol) but it also teaches your kids that you won't put up with certain comments ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: nikimcn
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 10:19pm
i know how you feel. the worst is when your own mother does not do things much anymore with you because she has not more kids at home and is enjoying the "freedom" because you have to many kids to lug around. i really get it when we tell others that we want more kids. not sure how many but just more. God will decide that one for us. i love having 4 kids around and would not trade it for the world. i mean what would i do with all that extra time. lol.

heidi

ds(s) 9,5,2, and dd 7

and waiting for more