A SAHM's rant against her working hubby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
A SAHM's rant against her working hubby.
14
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 2:10pm
Life just isn't fair. I am so mad at my hubby. Well, not at him exactly, but at his job.

You know what he is doing today? Well I do. At WORK, he has a 2 hour group lunch. Then, a few hours later, he has party to go to. His group has a party at least once a month to help keep up morale. Last month he had a bowling party to go to. A few months ago he had "business" dinners at a fancy restaurant and had lobster several times. This winter they went skiing. They also went boating. Last summer, he had several days at the local amusement park...all in the sake of "morale". They also have massage days where massuses (sp?) come and they can leave their desk and get a massage.

He is constantly going out to lunch at nice restaurants where you actually get to sit down and be served (what a concept). If his first meeting isn't until 10 or so (happens more than you think), then he may decide to sleep in. Or, he may decide at the last moment to run a bunch of errands..and he gets them all done.

My day? I got up a little late this morning so I didn't get a shower. Then I had to get up my 3 year old and coax (OK, threaten) for him to eat and get dressed so he could go to camp. Then, since it is the last day, I had to stay with him to see his day. Like I don't know what happens, I am the mom that is there ever single freakin' day. Then, after I picked him up, he was so tired that I was unable to run ANY errands today. We came home, watched Scooby Doo (You know, it isn't that entertaining as an adult) and I had to coax (OK, threaten again) for him to eat his sandwich. Finally, more coaxing (you know what really happened), he is in his room "taking" a nap. I can't do anything because he may at any second decide a nap isn't what he wants to do so I will have to put him back into his room.

I want a group lunch and party. I would KILL to have a massage in the middle of the day. I want to go to business dinners where I get lobster!!! But no, I am an unpaid stay-at-home mom. I have no life....

co-cl of Venting about Family Matters

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlfamilymatt/

Come visit me!

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 8:11pm

It sounds like you really need something for yourself! Look into joining a mom's group, or volunteer for something! Try taking a night class, or find a book club! Or go out to dinner once a month with the girls. Be happy your DH has a great and fun job.


My husband just quit his because he never got lunch! Now it will be worse since we just bought a business, but he is soo excited about it that I am ready to deal with whatever it takes, including long hours. If he likes his job and is happy, there is a lot less stress at home since it is my choice to stay home, and I know he is jealous and would love to raise the kids full time.


Let us know what you decide on!


Debbie


------------------------------------


~ ~ Follow your passion!:&n

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 1:20am

I think it is great the your dh works for a company that wants to keep their employees happy. Is there any way that you would be able to meet him for lunch or attend any of the parties? That way you guys would get some time together and have a little fun.


My dh does a lot of entertaining for him job. Lunches, dinners, baseball, hockey, basketball, concerts etc for his job. But the great thing is I get to go almost all the time. So we get to do a lot of fun things and the company pays for it.


As far as the massage goes you should just have one come over to your house once a month to give you one Tell your dh that you are keeping up your moral for the safety of the family.


Sarah and Maggie 10/24/02

Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 11:21am
I have

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 11:33am
I am in a mom's group and have a lot to do and friends. I just had a woman's night out last week. It just burns me to no end that he gets to go have fun while I have to take care of our b!tchy son.

I wish I could have a 2 hour lunch in the middle of the day if I wanted to. It just sucks that he gets this paycheck for a job that treats him like a king and I get no paycheck for taking care of a son whose latest thing is to be defiant.

co-cl of Venting about Family Matters

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlfamilymatt/

Come visit me!

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 11:36am
Most of the outings are for "group bonding" and no family is invited. He says he doesn't want to go to all of the things, but he really has to because of the politics of his job. While most of the aspects of his job he loves, one thing he doesn't love is the politics. It really can be who you know and who knows you when it comes to promotions and such.

Family was "invited" to the theme park, but then I would have to pay admission. And I didn't want to pay the $40 or so just so I could chase my son all day in the hot sun. I can do that at home! :)

co-cl of Venting about Family Matters

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlfamilymatt/

Come visit me!

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 11:48am

Yikes, I really don't want to step out of line, but I am concerned about you when you say "...while I have to take care of our b!tchy son." Yes, all kids have their moments, and mine right now is teething and very difficult, but I would never talk about my kids that way.


You need to look within yourself. If this is bugging you that much, which it seems to be, there is a bigger issue. I don't know what it is, only you do. It sounds like you are under stress, or are not feeling equal in the marriage. Or maybe something completely different.


It is OK to go back to work if staying home isn't working for you. It's OK to envy that your DH gets out of the house, and that he works for a great company, but don't let it consume you. You need to be able to look for the positive. Like he has a job, or he is bringing in good money, or he doesn't come home miserable and furstrated

------------------------------------


~ ~ Follow your passion!:&n

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 12:14pm
Wow, it sounds like you really need a break!

If your hubby has a job that does all that for him, it is probably a really well-paying position too, so maybe you can afford to put your son with a relative or alternate care-giver on specified days of the week, and spend those days investing in yourself?

You could treat yourself occasionally to a pampering package at a day-spa, or go on a retreat or road-trip with a friend, maybe, to clear the air?

Then maybe build in some less-expensive but more regular self-care. Just having regularly scheduled time all to yourself while someone else takes care of your son might be just the thing. Get out with the girls, or if you are like me and very introverted, try to find a group to join to make some friends in.

And as someone else here said, there's no shame in doing what works best for yourself, your marriage, and by extension, your family, even if it means seeking an outside career yourself and finding an alternate caregiver or day program for your boy.

After all, if you are reaching critical mass, the dynamic between you and the child is not going to be good for either of you, and a break or a change might be needed and beneficial.

Good luck and we all hope to hear how things go in the future, whatever solution you decide on!

-Meg, wife to a wonderful mail carrier and mother to a 3-year-old daughter, expecting a son by homebirth VBAC soon!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 1:01pm
It was just a rant on a day where my son was hard to handle and I have PMS and my MIL is coming for a visit. And my son was b!tchy. Just a word to describe how he was bahaving.

I will be OK. Just needed a vent. I won't do that again... This vent is causing me more stress than it was meant to releive. I really thought that other SAHM's would understand. It is hard to comprehend that your children never acted that way. You are a lucky mom.

co-cl of Venting about Family Matters

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlfamilymatt/

Come visit me!

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 1:43pm

My kids do! They can be very misbehaved. Billy is pulling everything off my desk now as we speak and is very cranky. Alex is always getting into trouble or making a mess. I just am very happy. I have my children, a great man, a dog, a cat, something that is "mine" to do without any of them, and a computer with a quick internet connection! What more could I want? I figure I'm lucky, and though I do complain, when I look at what I have, I'd rather smile.


It just seems like you have

------------------------------------


~ ~ Follow your passion!:&n

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 4:39pm
OMG, it must be great to never have a bad day and easily wish that your kids, hubby, neighbors, etc would disappear. i've used that very adjective to describe my kids many a day, today included matter of fact. what's wrong with a good rant every now and then? she's not telling this to her DH, she's not screaming onscenities to her son, she's having a little 'itchfest to her 'friends!' productive and a good way to handle things if you ask me. i just posted that i have strep thoat and my DH is worse than useless, i suppose i should edit to say that he's wonderful and works hard and just doesn't know how to emote when his wife is dying? bahhhh.....

Pages