oh gosh please help me!!! (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
oh gosh please help me!!! (long)
3
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 3:33pm
hi i am new to this board and need some advice!! i have a 2 1/2 yr old preemie, who is caught up developmentally and is actually ahead of herself. and an 8 month old son. i have been at home with the children since birth. i have alot of problems going on. about 10 months ago my daughter started to throw absolutely uncontrollable fits over anything. they calmed down for a while, but are back in full force. she gets upset over everything, especially when she doesnt get what she wants. lately she has also been beating up on her brother, he just started crawling and she is on top of his back, she hits him for no reason, takes everything and i do mean everything away from him, and is just generally mean to him. i know i do not "play" with her enough, but my son is very demanding also, he is a crier, he gets bored very easily so i am always dealing with him, i know she would like me to play more, but i just cant.but we do go to gymboree once a week together, just me and her. today for example we had lunch and it was about 45 min until naptime, so i asked her to pick up the toys she dumped out in the playroom and put them in the box they belong i even showed her, she refused, and me having a short temper began yelling (i know bad thing) at her, she did pick up most of them but refused to pick up the rest, so i told her we were going to throw the others in the trash until she learned to pick her toys up. so i did. she began flipping out!!! so she was put to bed early. she is seriously driving me to the point of no return, i dont know what to do, i have tried to spend more time with her by doing a structured activity in the afternoon, but it always ends in disaster, by her screaming and crying and being pissed. i am at my wits end i dont know what to do with her. to me it is as if she is just acting like a spoiled brat, and i dont want a spoiled brat i want my beautiful baby girl that she is once in a while. dh does have adhd and i do think she does but i dont know how to deal with that either. i am totally against drugs so that is not an option. but what do i do?!? i really dont like my daughter, i love her but i feel like i dont like her much. any advice please?!? suzy
daughter-kylie 2 1/2 son tyler 8 mos
Avatar for lori_mcbride
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 4:57pm

Hi Suzy,


Sorry that things are so rough for you...my guy is about to turn 2 and we are having some interesting days as well.


All I can say is, do your best to be as consistent as possible with her.

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having a baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2001
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 10:51am

The PP had some great ideas, picking your battles and deciding what you want to eliminate the most is probably a good way to start.

My other thought was have you talked to her doctor about her behaviour? There may be something physically wrong that is causing her stress and making her act out the way she is. One of my good friends finally found out a few months ago that her daughter was having digestive problems, and when she felt them coming on would go nuts having temper tantrums, etc. I know you say you don't want to medicate her, I'm assuming you're thinking it may be ADD/ADHD, but it could be something else. It also doesn't make you a bad parent to seek out advice! That's what doctor's are there for!

I hope you find a solution soon!
Barbara

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Avatar for jennyberm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 9:02pm
You know what, that sounds like completely normal 2 - 3 yr old behavior. Sorry, but I don't think there's much you can do about it except hold your breath until age 4 or 5. If it makes you feel better, most moms of kids that age are going through the exact same thing. Are you new to Parents Place? Have you checked out the playgroup for your daughter's age? It always amazes me to find out that everyone else is going through the exact same thing I am (if not worse) and I generally find out that my over-reactions are not nearly as bad as some people's. ;) Not much, but it does help.

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)



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