Grab a kleenex.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Grab a kleenex.....
7
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 1:45pm

I read this article in our newspaper and just cried. This is especially sad if you have a son. Sorry this is so long, I tried to find the article on the internet. Well anyway here goes:
(CUTTING SON'S CORD ISN'T EASY FOR MOMS) When I had given birth to our first child, a son, the nurse asked my dh if he would like to cut the cord. There is a reason they ask fathers to cut the cord. They are able to do it quickly. SNIP!

For mothers, cutting the cord often takes a little longer. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 20yrs. By nature, mothers are reluctant to share their sons. We raise them with hopes they will be strong & independent & have families of their own one day, but we also raise them with secret desires that they will always be ours. When you attend the parent-teacher conference & the 1st grade teacher shows you the class book--the book in which your son has drawn a picture of a shark jumping out of the water with the teacher's feet sticking out of the sharks' mouth--you pretend to be mildly appalled, but a part of you is relieved. You are glad it is the teacher pictured having the "Jaws" experience & not you, hence proving you still hold first place in his heart.

The cord again stretches taut in 6th grade, when at Christmas time he announces he has bought a giant red&white candy cane for a girl & will give it to her on the bus. "What did she say?" you ask later. "Nothing." He lowers his eyes & walks away. You resist the urge to find the girl & pinch her little 12 yr old nose right off her face.

The cord stretches again when the boy goes on an all day field trip & forgets his lunch. He calls to ask if you will bring it to school. "I'll be outside, just slow down & toss it out the car window." You find comfort knowing he still needs you for the little things like food, shelter & clean underwear. Then one day you realize the things he needed you to do for him, he is now doing for himself: cooking, cleaning, paying bills. Living on one's own may well be the most educational part of college.

He is home over break. The family is in the kitchen & you are dumping the trash, when his grandmother asks what his intentions are with the girl he has recently begun dating. "Glad you asked, Grandma." Out of the corner of your eye, you see him pull a ring box from the pocket of his jeans. There is a sense of loss when a son leaves home to make a home of his own. It is the end of a chapter, the closing of an era. Acknowledging that the past is the past is how you clear space & make room for the new. There will be a new family member, a new dimension, new warmth & new life.

He is home for the weekend, standing by the front door, waiting for her to arrive. You steal a glance & see him as a little boy with tousled hair, muddy tennis shoes, a skateboard & G.I. Joes. How can this kid be a young man about to marry? "She's here!" he says to no one in particular. "The love of my life," & flies out the door. SNIP!

Olivia (I even cried while I was typing...boohoo:(




Edited 5/3/2005 2:52 pm ET ET by iolivia1972
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&nbs
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 1:51pm

Thanks a lot Olivia!! lol You just had to do that when I am already emotional..lol


Dh says our boys need to find motherless orphans to marry otherwise they will never have a chance to marry! lol

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:10pm
Olivia,
What a great article, I'm typing as tears are rolling down my face.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:12pm

Olivia,

thats really sweet, and true of all mothers I think. Thanks for sharing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:15pm

OMG....that's all I can say, lol!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:18pm

here's another one for you,I always cry at this one as well. I've posted it before, but not for a while...

Being A Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she
and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have
a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous
vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to
decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in
childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but
becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she
will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without
asking, "What if that had been MY child?"

That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees
pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse
than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no
matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the
primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!"
will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments
hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has
invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by
motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going
into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet
smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running
home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather
than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right
there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of
independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that
a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself
constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she
will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about
herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has
a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her
offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish
her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become
badges of honour. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change,
but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful
to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think
she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she
would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout
history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child
learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby
who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want
her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my
eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the
table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and
for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this
most wonderful of callings.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:25pm

OMG...Lesley, I am still crying. That is so beautiful. I have 2 daughters to go through this with....boooohoooo. And my son, I will never snip his cord...(wishful thinking).

Thank you for sharing, boy we are gonna need a new box of tissue here....lol.

Olivia

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&nbs
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 9:15pm
Awwww, how sweet. BUT Dont ever do that again

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