What would you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2006
What would you do?
11
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 5:58pm

Ok: Tim got in a car accident today, and even though it wasn't his fault, he might lose his job over it. (long story...short version is that his supervisor has had it in for him ever since we had the baby because him and his wife have been trying and can't.)

So...I guess I have two choices:

1. apply for welfare for a short time until he finds a job and can pay child support/alimony

2. go find a job and put Dylan in day care

Now, I served 6 years in the Navy, so I feel that I have earned my right to use public assistance, and I have taken full advantage of programs like WIC and Medicaid. But the thought of just saying the word, WELFARE...it comes screaming at me with all the stigmas attached.

On the flip side...I would only be on it for a short time, I think? And, I would still get to be with Dylan.

On the other hand...what if he decides to totally flake out (not him but this might be his last straw...us breaking up after having the baby we worked for five years to have, then losing his job) and doesn't get a new job fast enough?

Should I just bite the bullet and job hunt now?

What would you do?







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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 7:14pm
Mel, Where you going to go job hunting once everything was final anyway? j/w. If so, then I guess the time-line just got moved up. (I hope I don't sound callous. I don't mean to.) I know what you mean about even the word welfare, but if it'll help, then maybe it'll work for a few months until things get sorted out. ?? Just a thought. Good luck with everything. Please keep up posted. P&pts for Tim. Is he okay?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2006
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 7:21pm

I was hoping to be able to wait until I finished my degree in library sciences so I could go work at a library instead of getting a random job....

Update...he did get fired. He is moving back in for September, and then we are divorcing for good...I found out that he's been lying to me about alot of stuff that's been going on, and that this was his SECOND accident.

I guess I'm more shocked/angry right now than anything.







iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 7:28pm
Wow. ((((((((((Mel)))))))))) I'm so sorry you've got so much heavy stuff going on at once. Is your college a full-time college, or is more flexible? Maybe a combination, if time and babysitters allow, of welfare and/or other assistance (WIC, ect) and a part-time job? Welfare usually has an income cap, I think, but as a student and with a new baby and only a part-time job, you'd probably qualify. (Or if not welfare, then other assistance programs.) Do you have a church or a support circle around you that could help in small ways, like watching Dylan, or cleaning the house for you once a week, or grocery shopping if you're working and going to school? I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you feel support here. *hugs*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 7:34pm
Why would his employer fire him over a car accident???
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 7:39pm
Melanie~ I'm so sorry. I hope that things will work out. You know its there to help people and right now your gonna need it. Lots of (((((HUGS)))))!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2001
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 9:42pm

I noticed that you said you were hoping to finish school...how long will it take you?! If it were me, even though it would be so hard for me to do, if I didn't have much left of school, I would get assistance. I'd then go to school full time and finish up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 9:56pm

Ok my opinion is that you have served you country and you pay taxes, therefore you are entitled to recieve assistance.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 10:06pm
i just wanted to offer big hugss and tons of p&pt's to you..everyone has given some good advice..i agree that you have every right to get help through the state...it is somewhat of a help at least and until you can figure out where to go from there, then i would go for it
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 11:11pm
((((((Hugs)))))) If you want to spend more time with DS, you should probably just keep going to school, if it's not long for you to graduate, and maybe get some help from welfare like some of the other ladies had said that what is there for, that way you finish school and spend more time with DS. Good Luck and do what's best for you right now.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 11:30pm

Big Hugs Mel! You have alot on your plate right now!

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