Womens Dictionary, LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Womens Dictionary, LOL!!
7
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 12:07am

Ah now the secrets are out! Lol, I laughed so hard at these hope y'all do too! Maybe our husbands should get a copy of this???



  1. "Fine"
    This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)


  2. "Five minutes"
    This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.


  3. "Nothing"
    Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."


  4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
    This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."


  5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
    This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.


  6. "Loud Sigh"
    This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!."


  7. "Soft Sigh"
    Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.


  8. "Oh"
    This word -- followed by any statement - is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 7:38am
LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 8:03am
LOL! The "fine" and "sighs" are my favorites! (And, I use them...) :-)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 8:15am
Gotta say I've probably used all of those at one time or another.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 8:59am
Taypage, Your Reply made me laugh just as hard as the definitions themselves! My dh would simply shake his head and mutter something about being glad he's not a woman. I do use the go ahead w/ the non-raised eyebrows sigh. If he has it in his to do or buy something, it's next to impossible to change his mind. I save my "fine" for the 5 minute battles!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 11:36am
LOL!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2007
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 1:56pm
My dh got this a while ago from his dad. It was after he had asked to go fishing on our 1st anniversary. Well, it was our 2nd, 1st anniversary. We were married by our pastor in March and then had a wedding in May. He forgot the 1st (March) anniversary, so I thought he would redeem himself on the 2nd, 1st anniversary. Instead he asked to go fishing. AND, it was Mother's Day. I replied with "go ahead" (raised eyebrow), then a "loud sigh", he then asked what is wrong and I said "nothing". He then asked again and I said "It's okay" (That's Okay). He went fishing and then wondered why I was so PO'd when he got home and why he had to make his own lunch and dinner for the next few weeks. He finally realized what had actully been said when my fil sent him this. Needless to say, he now undrstands what "nothing", "fine" and "loud sigh" means and knows how to handle situations where these come up!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 4:54pm
This was just too too funny!