Taking the risk....should I do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Taking the risk....should I do it?
3
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 10:37am

I have been a lurker on this board many times and love the advice you give one another. I'm hoping you can help me come to a decision. I'm sorry if this becomes a long one.

I am a mom of a 2 1/2-yr-old daughter and a baby due in July. My husband has a great job but it doesn't pay very much ($30,000) and I work 30 hours a week. I don't make any benefits at all so we rely a lot on my hubby's job for that. My daughter attends a center that she's very happy with and that we are happy with most of the time.

With number 2 on the way we are facing the difficult decision of what to do. I stayed at home with my dd until a few months ago. We ate all of our savings. We do have a side business that we work on at home. It makes okay money but we never know which days we will make a lot and others none at all. Half of my pay goes to daycare alone. We only need a second car for my job, as my hubby works only a mile from home, so if I were to stay at home I could sell the second car and we'd be $380 better off a month.

My husband works full-time and then comes home and works on our side business. He has asked if I'd consider quitting my job to stay at home and work on the business. The only problem is, if it doesn't work out I've got to start all over and get another job. He is recommending that if it doesn't work out that I can work 3 evenings a week outside of the home to make up for income. With two in daycare I'd only make $48 a week profit.

So I need to make a choice: Stay at home and quit the good job I have that promises promotion in the future, sell the 2nd car, and hope it all works out ...

or...

Return to work and barely make any profit but have a promising career in the future.

Another thing is, I do not have a bachelor's degree and if I stay at home I may can get financial aid to actually get a degree so that I'd make more money later. If I continue working there is no way I could do it all.

I want to be at home but I also know how hard it is to worry about money. I'm scared and need advice. I don't know if I have the courage to do what I want to do.

I hope to hear from you soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 11:24am

It's a tough decision and one that only you and your husband can make...but if it helps, I'll share a little of our struggle in the beginning (I shared this in another thread a little while ago...)

I was sort of an accidental SAHM. We were surprised by the stork at just the WORST time. DH was a full time grad student (not working obviously) and I was living out-of-state working (long distant relationship worked BEAUTIFULLY for us until I found out I was pregnant of course!)...I made a nice living, and I had health insurance, only I didn't opt to carry maternity benefits. And guess what, once you're already pregnant it's sort of too late to get them! So my savings was eaten up pretty nicely paying for all my medical care out of pocket and financing an early move out to be with DH. Then I developed pre-eclampsia and had to go on bedrest (now no income from me either obviously!) and our joint savings disappeared alarmingly fast. As soon as the baby was born I would HAVE to get back to work immediately so that DH could graduate!

And then the baby and I contracted Group B Strep during a very complicated C-section and we both almost died. DD was only hours old and she was getting a spinal tap, being put on a ventilator, they were asking us if we had a funeral parlor picked out...I got septic and spiked a temp of 104, my wound got infected, it was awful. DD actually made it home before I did, I came home needing nearly 10 months of home health care since I had this huge open wound that I had to live with. So now we were REALLY in some financial trouble. We liquidated all our investments, cashed in our retirement savings, took private loans...we thanked God for grandparents who were so generous with clothes and toys. We went on WIC so that I could have milk to drink, I learned how to breastfeed with an enormous dressing on my abdomen because we honestly couldn't afford formula. There were times that I didn't know how we were going to afford food...

But we learned what was important that year. DD, DH, and I...that's all that mattered. I would look down at her lying in my arms and I would think about how close we came to losing her...I would think about how close I came to dying myself and how she would have had to grow up without a mother...I would look over at my DH who would get tears in his eyes every time he watched us nurse together...and suddenly, having spagetti for the fourth time that week just tasted like a gourmet meal. Wearing thrift shop clothes and hand-me-downs made me feel like a queen when I thought about how I came so close to being in a graveyard. It was a struggle, but what we went through sort of put it all in perspective for us....in the end, money is just money.

Anyway, DH graduated with honors and landed his dream job...we're comfortable now and quickly rebuilding our savings and working on getting into a house in the next year or two...there was a "light at the end of the tunnel" for us, so maybe I can't really relate to some of the insecurities that you have when you think about taking the risk to stay home. But I can tell you that it's wonderful being home...I have loved being home for my daughter's first year...and I would never go back now, I just love what I do at the moment. Last Christmas we got her a couple things from the dollar store and wrapped them in tin foil (tin foil that we saved and reused, lol)...this Christmas we'll probably go crazy with a tree that reaches the ceiling and half of FAO Schwartz's inventory covering the floor, lol...and 20 years from now I am quite sure we will look back and say that first Christmas was the best we ever had :)

Good luck with your decision! If you decide to stay home, I have a wealth of frugal tips on how to raise a newborn on no money...heh! Take care and keep in touch!

Krista
DD 17 months

Krista_edited-1.gif picture by baybreeze01
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 1:16pm

Hugs to you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 3:29pm

I think it would all depend on whether you want to stay working or stay at home. It doesn't sound like you would make a lot of profit if you worked anyway since so much would go to daycare for two children. You could actually be better off if you stayed home, from the sounds of it.

You didn't mention what the business you and your husband run is but it sounds like a good way to bring in a little extra money here and there. Is it possible to expand if you worked on that as a part time gig?

Good luck in whatever you decide!

Tarra

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