Strong Desire for Another Baby
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| Mon, 08-27-2007 - 9:32am |
I was not sure who to turn to on this so I figured you girls were going to be my best source. I have my daughter who is 11 1/2 and starting middle school this year from my first marriage. I also have my son who is 2 1/2 who was our little blessing in the skies. My H can not have children so we went through a lot of medical treatments and 4 years of he!! to concieve him. For the past couple of months I have had this burning desire for another child. I use to get it years ago but it would come and go, a lot of times with my cycle. Lately it has been real bad. I think about it all the time. We went to the zoo over the weekend and I swear there was nothing but pregnant women and little babies. After Aiden was born we agreed that we were done with children because it really took a toll on both of us and I was ok with that. I find myself not being ok with it anymore. I love my family and I am so blessed to have what I do so part of me feels like I am being selfish or ungrateful for wanting more. Do any of you get or got that strong urge to have a child?
Julie

Thanks for the post - at least I am not alone. I have not been able to bring it up to the H yet. He is going to think that I am crazy and I know that he is happy with our family the way it is. Maybe it is just the thought that my son is not my little baby anymore. He is growing up so fast and I am trying to hold on to every minute of it. Maybe it is just one of the many joys of being female and we will always have some sort of desire for more children.
Thanks Again
Julie
I know how you feel. Except dh feels it along with me. We made a huge mistake and allowed the birth of our twins sell us on the idea that we were totally done having kids. We'd love to have a 4th at this point. All are in school now and to have one more would really round things out and I'd have one on one time with it since they kids are all in school. But, it won't ever happen unless we adopt and dh is afraid he won't love an adopted child like he loves his biological children so we won't ever go there. Dh had a vasectomay and years later I had an ablation and I can no longer carry a child if we did invetro. So, no you are not alone and I am sure many here understand you.
Chelle
I too have a very storong desire for another child. I have a 7yr old and a 3 month old and want to get pg so badly. I pray for a girl as I have 2 boys. My DH and I lost our daughter ay 20 wks PG and now I want to try for 1 more knowing it could be a boy but hope it would be a girl. My DH said our son was the last one and he was going to get fixed but has not and is not being careful and it makes me hope even more that we get pg..although I have not started my cycle because I am breast feeding and I so do not want to bring up the subject to remind DH he hasn't gotten fixed..AGHHH!!! Sorry I'm probably not much help but I know where your comming from except for the ordeal you'd have to go through again to conceive but then again f your having such a strong desire maybe it's a sign to try???
Jenn :)
Hi Julie!!
I am pg right now so the "baby fever" got the best of me already LOL!
My DS is just 7 weeks now, and my DSD is almost 14 years old! She doesn't live with us - only visitation. I know it's MADNESS to be thinking this already, but I could totally get PG right away again. (poor DH - he just wants his wife back for a little while before we even discuss it!) I am loving my son, and seeing as DSD isn't around all the time AND she's so much older, I would love my boy to have a sibling to play with 24/7.
A dear friend of mine has two children, one ten, the other 8. They JUST brought home a dear boy from Haiti after over a year of red tape. He's 2 1/2, and named Isaac, and is the cutest thing EVER.
You are not selfish or ungrateful for wanting more - but it doesn't need to be as he!!ish as it was for you before. There are options, like adoption. Talk with DH. Perhaps the only reason he is content to not have more is bc he doesn't want to deal with the constant disappointment like you both endured. However, at the end of that road was great JOY. I can say that if you and your DH wanted to adopt - That would be amazing. The labor is the same in both cases because all children, adopted or naturally are born out of love, and
I thought I would be done after I gave birth to my DD in March, we also have a son who is almost 4 (he is adopted), but as soon as she came into this world I have been going crazy with wanting another baby. My DH wanted to get fixed after I had her but I talked him out of it and to wait until we are a little older, im 24 he is 26.
I finally got him to agree that we can have one more. And the only reason he agreed was because the first time my DD laughed I broke down crying and had to explain that I was really sad about only being able to experience all of this just once. Dont get me wrong I love my DS but we didnt get him until he was 18 months old, so we really miss out on a lot. So hopefully we will be in a good place when my DD is about a year old, so we can start trying.
So maybe if you talk to him and see if he is ok with the idea of having another child. And if he is dont make a big deal out of trying and just go with protection and see what happens.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
Antonia
Cameron 09/04/2003
Alyssa 03/19/07
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If your DH doen't want to have anymore children you could also look into being a "Big Sister",or babysit, volanteer at schools or in your church nursery (if you go to church), go to your public library and ask if you can read to the little children on certain days. There is always a way to get you baby fix if you don't or can't have anymore children.
Good luck in whatever you dicide.