I can't stop crying!
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| Fri, 08-31-2007 - 9:02am |
I swear my dad is losing it. I haven't talked to my dad since just before Memorial day weekend and he was suppose to call me to let me know about his car and if they could meet us in MO, he never called so we assumed it was off. I have nver made any demands on him as far as being there for our kids. I shouldn't have to, he should out of love for them try to be in thier lives. I want to see him cause it's been over 7 years since I have seen my dad in person. I have yet to meet my baby sister and she is 6 years old. He lives in Texas which is a stretch for us to drive we don't have the money to stay in a motel and I don't think we could stay with him once we got there so more motel stays. It's too expensive for us. They had to start over cause he quit his corporpate job making over 100,000 a year to being a Math teach in a middle school. It's taken them a while to get back on their feet. I've been understanding.
Here is his email he just sent me:
Hi Chelle,
Long time. I’ve have been thinking about the guilt that you try to dump on my head because I’m not running after my children like a lap dog. I’m tired of trying to live my life to please you. It won’t ever happen and I won’t try. Phones go two ways. Always have, always will. Just tell the kids that grandpa died.
Don
Nice huh? He is the one who never calls me. Always tells he meant to call and such and such. I this is from his own guilt and stuff. I told him I feel like I am ebing included in a one sided conversation. I just have no idea what he is talking about. I called my mom and cried in her ear. (My parents are divorced.) I am so glad she does not have to put up with my dad anymore, I cannot imagine having to deal with him at this point.
Chelle

Don"
What ever the issues between you guys are, that is really messed up that he said that last line.
I am better. Before I took kitten to her appointment I called his wife. I knew she worked as a secretary at a church but I didn't know the name of the church. So I looked up churches in their town and called the one I thought it might be and got her. I talked to her about it and she was a little stunned by the email too. All she can figure is he is upset no one call him for his birthday. I did but they weren't home. The actual day we were camping and I don't have a cell phone so I called when we got back and like I said, no one was home. After that school started and him being a school teacher and his schedule usually is the same as my kids, I couldn't call him during the day and at night I would have forgotten by that point. I have a gift for him that I have yet to mail. I never mail anything I am suppose to mail He should no that by now. Ugh. Bad for me. But that fact that my brother didn't call him upsets me a bit. That I can't believe. At least I tried. But, for him to react this was is bad. I don't like it and I am tired of his email outbursts. He will do this to me every once in a while, blind side me with a nasty email like this. I'd let him go but he is my childrens only living granfather and he is the father of my baby sister who I love dearly and still want to see. She will still be here long after he is gone and I want her in my life. Otherwise I'd let him go.
Chelle
Chelle, I'm sorry to hear about how your Dad is.
Hi, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I totally have been there with my dad and now I do not speak to him at all. Not worth the heartache. My dad tried the ol guilt trip on me one to many times...Once after NEVER being there while I was growing up, after I was 18 yrs old and went to him to try and have a releationship with him with me doing all the work...I became engaged (didn't marry him in the end) I called my dad to tell him and he asked if he would give me away and I told him no because he was NEVER there for me while growing up, and I mean NEVER...no b-day cards christmas nothing and the FEW times we visited he never spent time with us ( I have a sister) so he got mad and hung up on me...What ever...his loss....During the time I made the effert to have a releationship with him he would always cry to me on the phone how me messed up and poor me this and that...I couldn't deal with his patheticness....Hang in there and remember you are a stong beautiful person!!! Also remember the old saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drnk...That is what I had to realize for my self...
Hope this helps some what....((HUGS))
Jenn
I cann't leave your father alone in the house or who will take care of my animals is her normal response. Then all of a sudden they call and tells me we are coming to see ya'll for the weekend is that ok. By Friday;we aren't coming. We are just to tired to make the trip. Then she calls again last Sunday morning early we are going to Kansas to visit your fathers old home town. Can we stop and see you? Buy that evening they call (with a bitter sound in her voice)we will not beable to take care of the business in Kansas with Violet so we will not be making that trip up there. By this time I was mad. They were more worried about a relative that wanted nothing to do with our family growing up they their on grandchildren that ask for them. Plus my Mom works ALL day so I can not call her during the day anymore. She has told evryone not to call her at night because of my Dad. Then she called my MIL and complained about me not calling her anymore.
My advise is if you can not smooth things over with your Dad; go though his wife if you have to and keep in touch with your sister that way. Sorry for the rant about my parents. I was just trying to say I understand and I wish you all the luck. Hugs!
Chelle,
There are no words that can truly comfort someone in your shoes. It is shocking and upsetting, and hopefully just airing things here helps a bit.
It's so odd... you know when my DH and I are at odds, I hand write him a letter - because I have to think about what I am saying, and won't say something hurtful, and we can talk about it later. In your dad's case, it's like he uses email to avoid talking. Since calling on the phone doesn't seem to be the method that works, perhaps you can use email to YOUR advantage. Once a week