..~...Flying without wings...~...
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 05-24-2003 - 8:03pm |
I see people around me so grounded into a secure life. Me no matter what happens to me mentally or physically or financially I never feel grounded or secure. I think if I ever felt secure I would not go out on a limb like I do now and I would not show the world my heart and I would not come out better then what I did mentally going into the world... I think I will feel like a dead piece of meat stuck here on planet earth if I buy into the scarity myth.
Hummmm.... life is so weird. I really thought being secure in knowing what is coming next in my life would make me feel great but it is not that much fun. You know what girls I had the best times of my life getting to the destination that I am now. Remember girls one of my post titled "life is a journey not a destination?" That is me.... I kind of live on the edge and push people to the max in hopes that they will see the awesomeness of life through my writings. What ever the outcome is to me pushing people beyond their comfort zone in hopes that maybe they can see the world through my rose colored glasses is worth the price. I want people to tuned into me who do not buy into the notion that there is just so much love and money and possessions and memories a person can get and then it's Kaput in life.
I am atracted to people who fly without wings. That is why I married my husband. Hell we did not know how we were going to eat or make the house payment. But every night we jumped into the spa out back and laugh at the situation we were in... we had no idea as to how we were going to feed ourselves but we had this house... The quality of our dinners girls was based on my tip money for that day........ No lie... And girls we laughed so hard when our life sucked big time that it was a bonding experience for us both... we have so many good times in our marriage through all the ups in downs in our life that I think that the laughing at ourselves is what kept our marriage together for so many years.
We figured way back when that we had two choices in life we can yell and scream at each other because we were broke and get a divorce over money or jump in the spa pour ourselves a Maitai and say to life..... okay we are game we are going to go for it life together no matter what negative s**t you are showing us now... through sickness and in health to death do we part.
At those times and even now like when the stock market took a noise dive you can find us in the spa laughing at the predicument we are in. I think for me the whole fun of living life is to live as though you do not have wings because the down times aren't so bad because we should have been squished like a cockroach in the beginning if ya dare fly with out your wings. ha ha ha
The shear joy of living is loosing it all in relationships, work, and money then picking my self up then making it over and over again to the sumit. Nothing on earth ever stays the same and not everyone is going to love me so I just go for life Knowing I will win more then loose when the finally count is done at the end of my life.
I think I don't like the feeling of being secure with life because if and when I do I am afraid that I would spend the rest of my life protecting and defending it all at all cost what I have money wise and in physical possessions.... because there is just so much of good stuff in the world to go around. Me living without wings is fun and believing in security would kill the being I have become in my life. I love living life by the seat of my pants.... it's is so scary that it makes me feel so alive. ha ha ha...
You know the scarcity feeling I am talking about don't ya.... feeling as though if ya lost what you have that you will never get it back again because there is only x amount of what ever in life that is given to you from your creator and if you loose "it" then ya lost "it" forever and you will never ever get "it" back. As a result at our age loosing it all will mean that we are bound to wind up in the poor house because we are old and there is not enough time in our lives to get it all back. That is a big fat lie girls!
I have always felt I was living on borrowed time ever since my mom gave birth to me at childbirth. Neither one of us was suppose to live through the child birth process and look at me now. I feel at the age of 52 that this is the best mentally and physically I have ever felt in my life. And if God takes all what I have health wise, possession wise, and materially wise that the outcome will be that I will be okay.... I just know it down deep in my soul.
Now you are probably wonder why I wrote this depressing post ha? Well a friend of mine asked me what am I going to do if I get sick again because I look, walk, talk, act so healthy. You know what I told her... God gives us all presents in life know it or not.... and when you realize your life is a present to yourself you start to cheerish every minute of it.
To me to breathe walk talk write and be who I am is a present to me from God. Every thing else in my life like my house, and possessions are only temporary and was never ment to be permenant ever.
So I live my life out loud for you all to see and I live life flying with out wings or a safety net below me and I thrive on the unknowns in my life....
Just a thought... Ladies I thought I would share that just ran through my brain right now.
Aloha,
Leilani

Not knowing what our future holds gives life excitement and wonder. Always looking for the goodness in what lies ahead and being able to see the good things that come from difficult experiences, gives us peace and contentment. It also gives you the gift of being to help others through their difficulties from what you've learned through your difficult times.
To be able to laugh through the hard times and still find the many joys in life and knowing that you'll be okay and that it will all turn out well, is security. Security breeds
Contentment.
If I were to lose my home and it's contents to a tornado, or something similar, I would feel secure in knowing that my material needs would be replaced for I have insurance. I would not replace them with the same things, my tastes would change. The things I would miss the most would be the photos, gifts from loved ones, and the treasures that have been handed down from my family. Material things are temporary, life is temporary, life is a gift, and the people in our life is a gift.
So you see, I agree..life is a gift from God, how we *live* our life is a gift to ourselves. Let's continue to live it fully and savor every precious moment for it will all be gone all to soon.
So what would you do if you got sick again?? You would do the best you can with what you have been given..and then you'd do it all even a little bit more. Keep up that positive attitude Hula Girl and you'll be all right, no matter what. I like the way you think!!
~~Susie
Hugs,
..