Find a Conversation
|Sat, 12-18-1999 - 8:36am|
This is a new experience for me, but one that I am looking forward to.
The morning played at the window, impatient to chase the darkness from the bedroom. It crawled across the worn carpeted floor pushing aside shadows working their way to her consciousness. Her mind rose from the gray murky waters of sleep as her body’s senses searched the bed for him. He wasn’t there. Slowly the events of the night replayed in her memory. It was the first time they had had sex since the baby, a baby at forty-two. She had made excuses for months. He had exhausted his patience. He was aggressive, filling his need rapidly. She trembled at the emptiness of their relationship and the nakedness of her body. The peeping of the baby stirred her breast’s nourishment.
Rising from the bed, she lifted the wailing baby to her breast, and, covering her nakedness with the bed sheet, she moved to the rocker. Warn and familiar, the rocker creaked as she cocooned herself with the baby to nurse. She kissed the tiny baby fingers that entwined in a strand of her hair. By the time the reality of this pregnancy had secured its self in her mind, it had been too late to change the outcome. Robert had accepted the pregnancy stoically. Children were just the trappings of marriage, like bills, dentist appointments, and work. The baby suckled, and she let her mind drift.
The milky clouds of memory transported her to another time. Robert had been the easy road. She was painting in a small park outside of Paris. She had sensed Robert’s presence before she saw him. He was tall, muscular, comfortable in jeans and open shirt, but it was the cold steal blue eyes, complicated eyes, that took her breath away. Robert picked up a painting, leaned it against a tree and seemed to study it. Then he scattered all of her paintings against trees and benches around the park and bought all of them. He bought her. They ate cheese and drank wine at a small side street bistro to celebrate the sale. He captured her heart or perhaps her loneliness. They spent the next four days and nights together. When Robert had to leave for the States, they married in a small country church and boarded a plane leaving her paintings neatly stacked against the wall of her abandoned apartment.