Sunday a.m. news.......warning LONG!
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| Sun, 01-17-2010 - 9:03am |
As I said under Blu's post, I really must have felt those Ladybugs prayers, because I made it through the memorial service last night without making a complete fool of myself. It was hard, though. I was full of Zanax and holding onto Curt's cross for dear life. Just coming into Lincoln where my son has lived since graduating college was hard. In my delusional moments I still just think he's there, then you realize he's not anywhere here on earth. It's such a strange sensation. Just takes your breath away. And I drove in alone and the fog was horrible, but I made it to the church on time, as they say.
Joedy did a nice job with the video slide show she put together. I don't know what the song was that was playing behind it. I'll have to ask her. As some of you know, my good hearing aid broke, and this old one just doesn't pick up sound like that very well. They had Curt's medals all displayed in a glassed in frame, his hard hat with all his silly sayings on it (remind me to tell you a funny story about that), Glen's Boy Scout medals he and his dad worked on together, Curt's big Navy anchor and a few other things. Joedy hadn't asked for baby pictures for the video, so the beginning picture of him was when he was Glen's age and wearing these HUGE glasses! I'd forgotten how big glasses were in those days. He had contacts down the road, then lasix surgery, so I'd almost forgotten he wore glasses when he was younger. Anyway, he travelled to so many distant lands and she had a lot of those photos in there and a lot of family photos that I'd forgotten about, but most of them were of him and Glen. He loved that little boy so much from the instant he laid eyes on him, he was DAD! I have a copy of the video that she burned for me, so will look at it many times, I'm sure, when I've built up a little more emotional muscle.
The worst part of the whole thing was Glen was going to read something that he'd written about his dad and he made it through about 4 words, then broke down. I wasn't happy she had him do that in the first place, but that's what she said he wanted to do. Anyway, she ended up reading the rest of it. I told Glen I thought his daddy would love it in his book of memories, so he gave it to me to put in there. That seemed to make him feel better. So, all in all that job is done. 2 down, one to go. We'll scatter his ashes in Galveston in the ocean he loved so, but I'm hoping that's not until a long time down the line. I need some rest.
Anyway, I won't be able to post for much of this coming week, but wanted you all to know I'm thinking about you. Glen's birthday is next Thursday, but I brought him home with me last night, and today is going to be his official birthday here. We're going to an early movie, Avatar, then to his favorite pizze place, Ci Ci's, then to Toy R'Us, so he can pick out his Christmas and birthday gifts he wants. Whatever he doesn't spend I'll give him in cash. He's a saver like his Uncle Rick and has a wad of cash in his billfold! LOL Tonight I'm making Deb's Lazygirl lasagna for his birthday supper, a salad and mozarella bread, and we'll have strawberry cake and Cookie dough ice cream (UGH!) and open the rest of his gifts. Joedy will be here by supper time, then they'll have to get to bed at a decent hour, because she wants to take off by 5 a.m. to head back to Waco.
The rest of the chapter (sorry this is so long, but I'm making up for the week! LOL) After Joedy and Glen leave, Carl is taking me to my mother's in Glenwood before he goes to work. Tomorrow is her marathon doctor day she has every 3 months, so I need to drive her and my sister to all that. The last appointment is at 4:00, so it's going to be a long day. They'll drop me off at home, that way sis only has to drive straight interstate home and should be able to handle that okay. She's doing amazing with that hip! Tuesday morning I take Godzilla to the vet. He weighs 18 pounds, is long (he's a Maine Coon) and won't fit into a carrier that I can lift, so I have to carry this kicking screaming beast in by hand. Once he's done he turns into Gentle Ben again and all is well for another year. Then I get my blood draw for my Reclast infusion and hopefully will get that done that day. I plan on being comotose for the rest of the week!
So, with that I'll close and just say that I feel your prayers and even on the really hard days, I'm doing better than I thought I would. Just thinking about you all makes my life brighter. Love to all and I'll see you when I see you.....



We are all glad to have offered our prayers for you, Pam, and are please if the ladybug prayers gave you strength! I pray they continue to help you, 'cause I know they'll continue for quite some while.
I am so glad that Joedy was able to put together such a nice memorial montage for Curt. Maybe it really was Glen who 'insisted' and it was her way of letting him try to do as he wished - how sweet of her to step in and finish reading what he had written for him, so that part of his wish at least could be fulfilled.
It does sound as if you and Glen have a great celebration day planned.
Good Morning Pam and thank you for the long follow up post. I was thinking of you yesterday after I've read what Blu posted. I cannot even imagine the emotional toll it takes for something like this. Have a great time with Glen today, pampering him for his birthday sounds like a great way to spend a Sunday
Hi Pam, I ,too, have been thinking of you this weekend.
Thank you Pam for the report on Curt's Memorial Service from last night. You were so heavy on my mind all day yesterday and particularly last night. I sat here and watched the clock and wondered what was happening at what time.
What a brave little boy Glen is to attempt to ready something he wrote at his Daddy's service. I hope todays birthday events helped to ease some of the pain and take his mind off his sorrow for a little while.
It's so nice that Carl talked to him like he did. Wish they were geographically closer so Carl could now be there for him a little more.
I'm glad you felt the Ladybug strength trying to hold you together last night. We were there for you in spirit.
Hugs...and love...
You already know that you've been heavy on my mind this past week, especially last night, so I won't repeat that here.
Pam,
I'm so glad to read your post about the Memorial Service.
i can't imagine doing through all you have. you are one strong lady.
we love you never forget that and will be here when you can be.
big cyber hugs sweetie,