Feeling left out - again
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| Tue, 03-30-2010 - 9:45am |
Our youngest DS posted photos of DGrD's coloring eggs at their OTHER grandmother's house on Facebook. We all live within 15 miles of each other, but they'd never think of inviting me. Doesn't anyone remember I was a mother of young kids once & did all those fun things? DDIL visits her folks weekly. I feel like, unless I plan AND pay for an event, I don't get to see the girls. I'm beginning to feel like I'm buying their time. I get the "feel free to stop out after school any day" speech. That means a few hours when they are tired, wanting to snack & play video games, or go out with their friends. Then I must face the rush hour traffic to get home for supper. Nope, they don't think of inviting me.
I know I can volunteer with kids somewhere in town, but it really hurts when your own grands are nearby. Guess it's old adage about "daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life", but when our DMIL was alive, my SIL & I made a real effort to include her in the Grands activities. We'd drive 200 miles to pick her up for a few days.
Sorry to start the day on a downer, but it just all hit.
Jacquie

I've always felt that way with our younger son. He loves to spend time with us if we pay for it or buy him something or promise him something.
Talk about being a floor mat.
We don't hear from him much since we retired. Of course, we don't have much money either.
Gail,
It helps to know some one else is in the same boat. Our older DS is the "no news is good news" kind of guy. He lives 20 miles away, works in our town, but would never think to drop by. He brings us up to date on his life when there is a family gathering. And, as with the younger DS, the elder one is terribly busy with DILs family.
Was there an old saying about having children so you had someone to take care of you in your old age?? Not needing care yet, but figuring I'd better not count on it. Both DILs have DMs to care for and we all turn 70 this year.
hugs,
Jacquie
Jacquie that's a very hurtful thing to happen.
So sorry to hear that all of you are having the same problems. My 2 older grands are adults now and we are relatively close, just been batting emails back and forward with DGD, but this is quite rare. Ex-DIL did not allow any contact with DGS from when he was 1yo when they split, until he was almost 11, then very little after that. He lived with me from 16 - 18, after they through him out, but I do not really feel like a grandmother with him. He's working on the mines up north, so seldom see him. DD was always living large distances away, so I travelled there a fair bit, but only for short visits. She lived with me from 16 - 18 also, DD and ex were together agin, but in the country and DGD was at business college, then working. DGD came over here when her mother was ill, and again last year, but left again in January.
My new grand-babies are living in the same city at present and it is wonderful, I see them at least once a week, and DIL is wonderful, a loving, caring woman, but she has no family here, in this country.
All I can suggest is letting your grand-babies know that you are there for them, they may realise that more as they grow up - I certainly hope so! Love and hugs, Jenni
Thanks for everyone's input. I figure I'll just keep plugging along, making contact with the girls when I can. The 7yr old will have a long postponed overnight on Friday. The one-on-one time is something they really seem to enjoy, since they are so close in age.
Jacquie
I dont have this problem as my DD lives about 2km away and no Grandchildren as yet, just 3 dogs that have to be let out if both DD & SIL have work. I just thought perhaps a phone call once an a while to let them know that you are thinking of them might work.
ttfn,
Lesley J
Jacquie, so sorry to hear you're going through this. It's so discouraging to want to see the grands more and to be close enough to... but not invited.
I don't know if this fits your DS's situation at all, but I spent 30 years married to a man who thought his family was the only one that mattered. After awhile it just got easier to go along and not fight him to have to spend time with my family, and pretty much the only time I got to see my family was when my dad would call and say "I'm coming to see you".
Whatever the cause, I hope the situation improves for you very soon.
So sorry, (((Jacquie))), that must hurt a lot.