Shame on Me...
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| Mon, 07-14-2003 - 1:24pm |
I know I shouldn't feel this way but I really can help it...
Well, I've just arrived home from my friend's Baby Shower...
I had a lovely time there, met some people and I was really happy for my friend. But all those baby things, nappies, soothers, bottles and her lovely big bump got me so depressed... I felt so frustrated for not being in the same situation! I hate to assume that I was jealous but that's how I really felt, so jealous because she has a baby to use all those things. On the contrary, I've got tons of baby things too but no baby yet, no bump, no pregnancy, no nothing.
(no even an ovulation yet, CD22) :(
I really wish them all the best! I really hope they have a wonderful birth and that a lovely health baby arrives! I really do, believe me.
I cried my eyes out as soon as I arrived at home. I feel bad for feeling like this, I'm ashamed of myself for being so sad when my friend is living such magical moment.I'm a human, I guess. A quite weak one. But I'm feeling like I'm a horrible monster. Oh God, I'm not like this, I'm not.
I'm sorry to use the TTC board to vent, but I needed to let those things out of me. Maybe to find some sense in my feelings.
Thank you for reading, ladies.
love,
Marcia-the-self-pit-monster
ttc#1 c2 CD22
Edited 7/15/2003 3:14:43 AM ET by marcialeggett

GidgetZ
ttc#1, C#2, CD#2
So don't feel bad for feeling the way you did. The important thing is you DO feel joy for your friend and you didn't spoil her day by showing how sad you felt that you don't have what she does just yet. That's all that matters.
And if it makes you feel any better, everyone on this board is in the same boat -- wanting what we haven't got...just yet!!
(((HUGS)))
Kristin
Hey, I know exactly how you feel.. My neighbor across the street & I were starting to try to get pregnant at the same time, she had been on BC for like 6 yrs and I had been off it for 8 years.. She was pg a week after she was off of the BC and here I am still trying!
Anyways, she is now 1 week overdue, but about to pop anytime.. I went and saw her nursery, and about cried when I got home.. I am happy for her ya know.. but.....
God will let it happen when he sees fit for it to!!!!!!!!!!
*HUGS*
Chelle
Thank you for your so kind replies!
You have no idea how helpful and supportive your words were.
I read your messages again and again and I'm feeling much better now. :)
I'm not feeling guilty anymore, I think it's always better to be honest about my feelings than to hide them. I was jealous yesterday because it was such emotional situation. But with your help, I'm learning to accept that it's natural to feel this way sometimes.
So today I'm feeling positive again and much happier because I just reminded that my friend sprinkled some baby dust on me when I left her house. Now I keep that always in my mind to banish any bad feeling.
It's wonderful to count on such nice people like you all!
DH was also very supportive yesterday he gave me lots of hugs and reminded me that it will happen for us soon too. He's a nice guy and I'm so proud to have him as the father of our child... :)
Thank you ladies, millions times, thank you!
love,
Marcia