I turned down BD. Am I insane or what ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
I turned down BD. Am I insane or what ?
4
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 12:31pm
Well girls, I just don't know what I was thinking. It just did not feel right, too mechanical or something. DH called me at work about 30 minutes before time for me to get off to see what to start for dinner. I told him what ever would be good, surprise me. Then I told him, how 'bout some foolin' around for dinner ? ( Boy, that was bold , wasn't it?) He said we'll have to see. Well, we watched Big Brother 4, then he had some things he wanted to go over concerning the business we're trying to get started. We finished that, and then he said , well, didn't you say now is a good time? I told him it was probably too late, cause I was having intense "O" pain right at that moment and ewcm.

He asked me, well, do you want to try? I told him no, we would wait til he gets straightened out with his job and all. ( he was asking in advance so he could try his "V" samples)

Did I just totally screw up, should I have gone for it? Heck, I kinda figured his "guys" would not be very "productive" anyway after lying dormant for 2+ months. Don't you have to have like "fresh" guys to be productive? I would rather DH approach me cause he wants me, not just cause I told him it's a good time, after everything we've been through. I want us to get back on BDing regularly , to keep his goods going, and yes, for it to be fun. And I don't want to waste those samples just yet. I just thought it would be better to wait til next cycle. DH almost seemed relieved. He said we WILL definitely concentrate on this more next month, and HE ASKED me to print him out another calendar for next cycle, so he would know and it wouldn't be like it was last night, cause he had no clue it was time.

After, I went to bed, I laid there, and felt stupid, wondering if maybe I had given up a perfect opportunity , or if my thinking is accurate in that it would not have been very productive, for baby making anyway. I wondered if I had let DH down, or if he was more relieved that I took the pressure off. I don't know, but looks like C3 is a no go as well. This is getting old. I'm hoping, praying, C4 is it.

Thanks girls. Have a good day!!!!

~Lisa O~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 2:20pm
I think you did the right thing, Lisa. We have to try not to forget in all this hullabaloo of bd-fests that the most important thing in all of this is you and DH. It was good that you kept this as a priority. You are also right that his swimmers would have been old and worn out and not really good for much- so no loss there. (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) to you for being so strong through all this and standing by your man! You should be proud of yourself!

Tara
 

 Tara~ co-cl of Pregnant after TTC

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 4:40pm
Hey Tara,

Thanks for the reassurance of not really being insane. I think that is what I was hoping to hear. I was trying to put the needs and consideration of DH's situation slightly ahead of my own, however I was thankful that he was willing to at least try. I'm looking for next month to be exciting.

Thanks again!!!

~Lisa O~

( I'm assuming with no other responses, others think I was a little insane.) Oh, well.

I think this can be a very demanding process, enough to make someone wonder about their sanity. GL to everyone out there!!!! Hope we all get BFP's real soon !!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 9:24pm
Lisa,

{{{{Hugs}}}}

I don't think you were insane at all!! I'm only in my second month of trying but here's my two cents. Some may disagree but that's ok.

Obviously we all really want to get pregnant. I'm sure both us and DH's may BD JUST because the timeing is right from time to time. That's ok because it is a demanding process. It's one thing to BD everyday because you both want to but it takes on a whole other meaning when you are really trying to get something out of it i.e. baby. I think it is important to remember that while it's great to "BD" it's also good to remember that it is also "making love". And sometimes the moment is just not there for one reason or another.

I hope this makes sense. I'm having a hard time writing what I want to say. Let me just sum up with saying that you are not insane, in fact quite normal.

Best wishes for a bfp very soon for you!

Chrissy

TTC#1, c2, cd16

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Chrissy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 9:25pm
Oh Lisa huge ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry I didn't see your post earlier...I really think you did the right thing. If it doesn't feel right it doesn't feel right, and you don't want to do it worring about the outcome for the next two weeks. It sounds like dh really loves you a lot and is ready to start the ttc next month- which I think is great and will make that perfectly timed bd fun, productive, and with no worries afterwards. Don't worry about upsetting dh, I think he was relieved to have the pressure taken off, and that he's excited about you getting that bfp, but he too wants it to happen when it's right and not before hand. Hang in there Sweetie, and know that we're always here for you! LOLove and more (((((((hugs))))))))))) Connie