I have to vent a little-

Avatar for i_lucyvanpelt
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I have to vent a little-
2
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:31am
First, I am NOT temping this month because it does nothing for me except confirm that I did O...it gives me no clue as to when I am about to O. I am focusing on just my CM and CP this month- hopefully I'll have better luck. My first 4 were conceived without trying- so I thought when we decided to go for #5 it would be a piece of cake. Well, I'm on my 4th cycle-- some piece of cake. I try to not read the BFP postings each day because sometimes it's just too depressing- especially when I see people who get it on their first cycle. I am really hoping to make it this month, because if we don't get a + this time around, we are taking 3-4 months off because of timing issues- don't want to be expecting between May and August next year for various reasons. That's a LONG time off, but I know that it's the best decision in the long run. And so much can happen in 3-4 months...what if DH changes his mind, what TRY and we can't seem to get it right...yet if I didn't want to be pg, I probably would be by now. I wanted Luke to have (hopefully) a brother close to his age (I have a 10.5, a 9, a 4.5, and a 1 year old) since there is such a big span in ages there. But if I have to wait until November to start TTC again, that just puts 2+ years between them (which isn't alot I know)- and I don't want to get into the same pattern as I did before where the 'baby' in the family is finally a little older, getting out of or already out of diapers, is beyond the waking up and bottles, etc. and I am pg and starting it all over again. I just can't stand the waiting and disappointment-

Stacey

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:39am
I understand where you are coming from. It is difficult. I am trying for #4. I have a 12, 9, and 21month old. We had a ruptured ectopic between #2 and 3 and it took us a year after the first 2 came without trying. I agree with you on the age difference. I am trying until Nov and then forget it. I am hoping for a summer due date due the kids are out of school and with their schedules it would make life easier. Just hang in there! If you need someone to talk to I'm here!

Teresa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 8:55pm
Stacey can I first give you hugs!!! Then my two cents!!

I thought the same as you that I wanted to time them correctly and wam bam thank you mame I would be PG since we did not try to get PG w/DS. I sit here after 13 cycles wondering why???? I personally would not try to stop TTC because of timing. I thought I didn't want a June-Aug baby. But I would die for one now!!! Its up to you but your right it gets harder, I wanted DS to have a closer bond to his sibling. I didn't want one out of diapers and do it all over again. UGH I am rambling but your not alone at all with your thoughts.

Allison