How do I tell my parents about PG???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2007
How do I tell my parents about PG???????
13
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 11:19am

Ladies, As many of you know my family has NOT been excited about my TTC efforts so I basically "shut up about it" well now that I am PG I did tell one of my moms best friends (also like a second mom to me) about the PG and she asked when and how I was going to tell them! I just cant get the guts to do it yet. I am very fearful of the backlash and opinions never mind that they wont be happy about it but fear it will stress by father out who is terminally ill.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 11:44am
Kim, you don't need the stress right now.
 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 12:12pm

Kim, I can only offer you support and tell you what I plan to do. After I get my BFP, I won't tell my family until I'm in my second trimester and have had prenatal testing done. I want to be able to say, "Look, I'm pregnant, I'm out of the danger zone, and the baby is fine (or has issues we can deal with)." That way, I won't have to deal with their excessive worrying about miscarriage and birth defects and blah blah blah. Also, I'll only have six months of their panicking, as opposed to 7-8. (I come from a long line of nervous Nellies.)

I still haven't told my family (aside from DH, of course) about my m/c. I thought about it, because I did want their sympathy, but I didn't need the constant "So are you pregnant again yet?" questions, the e-mailed articles about risks for older mothers, etc. Luckily, I have good friends who supported me in a way my parents, siblings, etc. could not.

Hope this helps. Also, remember that this is YOUR baby and YOUR life, and nothing anyone says will change that.


Susan CB






Susan CB

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 1:16pm

Okay - I guess it's time for all the Susan's to chime in 1-2-3!

Susan L.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2007
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 1:30pm

Thanks to all 3 Susans!! OMG your support means so much to me!! I also want to wait until the NT scan and make sure the baby is healthy and when Im not feeling so nauseated so much either. I feel like Im not being "fair" to my mother but as i see it she hasnt really been to fair to me especially not going to bat for me with my sister and siding with her " if she doesnt want you in her life then you just have to accept it" I am still so saddened by that whole mess:-( On the bright side yes i dont need the stress and just need to enjoy my moment of happieness with my immediate family ( DH and kids)


PS

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2005
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 2:02pm
I agree with the Susans. Heck,
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 10:53pm

Kim:

I am with the Three Susans (I wonder if they can sing!) and Krista... let this be future Kim's problem. Future Kim - the one who is 6+ months pregnant or possibly a new Mom - that Kim will know what to say and what to do.

Your Mom has not been supportive to you at all. It will be completely infuriating to hear your family's theories about your motivations and all the negative stuff that you know is coming.

BUT you need containment of the news. You can't be telling too many of your Mom's friends and not expect her to hear, and then she'll be all offended. You don't want to deal with that either.

I didn't tell my Mom until after the scans and blood tests, and I *think* not until after the amnio, I can't remember. I knew her paranoia over baby health and development would completely stress me out. I also knew I couldn't deal with it... so I postponed it.

I agree with the others - just focus on yourself, your baby's development and health, your immediate family for the next while. You can catch the other up quick later.

Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 8:38am

Thanks about the siggy Kim, Mattie made it, I love it too :o)


You know, it's SO weird, my mom is a lot like your mom but I remember when

 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2007
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 8:41pm
OMG I did it, I emailed my mom, I couldnt bring myself to call so I emailed! I am waiting for a response.......will update then......Im shaking in my boots!!!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 8:49pm

I hope she considers her response well and surprises you with support! That would be an excellent outcome for you and the whole family.

Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 3:43am

You've already gotten great advice & support and you've already done the deed so can I just say....

I'm so very happy you have this problem! (I mean not that your family isn't supportive but that you are knocked up!!) Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Way to keep up the pregnant CL tradition!

Happy & healthy 9 months to you!

And I can empathize. My family wasn't as bad as yours sounds but there's nothing like a vote of no-confidence from one's mom. Mine was also (and still is) worried we can't handle two. And whenever I say I have news, she says in a worried tone, "You're not pregnant, are you?" Thanks, mom!

You know your challenges and still wanted another kid and you will do great. Don't let family shake your confidence in that.

 

 

 

 

 




Edited 3/23/2009 3:01 am ET by lastminutemama


stellasiggy.jpg picture by estellaberg

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