Want another but scared
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|Mon, 04-26-2010 - 2:37am|
Just wondering, are you all 100 percent gung-ho about TTC ? I am 47 and I keep hearing from my OB/GYN and other people who "care" about me, that I am risking having a baby that will make me a caretaker for life b/c of developmental issues, chromosomal abnormalities, etc...
I will say this, if I were to conceive and things were going fine, I would get a amnio, like I did when I was pregnant for my son at 45. So, I would know about that stuff BEFORE the birth.
But, I am hearing horror stories about women dying in childbirth at older ages. I have a 20 month old that will depend on me being around for a while. I cannot die !! LOL
I have also been told that I am selfish; only thinking about my wants and needs. Anyone else been told that? They say, "Your child will be without parents when he is raising his own. Do you want that for him or her?"
Then, I went to a work conference the other day and met women from all over the country at lunch. I was telling the group of ladies that I had a son that was 20 mos. old and that I had him at 45 (naturally - oopsie baby). They all looked at me like I was crazy. One even said, "Poor you! There goes your retirement for his college."
The one that made me think was a woman who said her mother had her sister at 42 and her at 44. She said she loved her parents dearly and that they were good parents. But, she cautioned that her mother died at 81 and never got to see her kids grow up. She said her kids were too little and don't really remember her. She said I only got 37 yrs. with my mom. Then, she got tears in her eyes.
I said, "So you don't think people should have children in their 40's? She said, "Children, even grown children need to have parents in their lives." She said, "I got married late at 36 and she never got to see me live out my life. I am now 52. I have a sister and that is all the family I have left. Your son will be left with no one when you are gone."
Guess I am just having medical and emotional second thoughts. Will I end up regretting it if I am to have another? Will my child/children feel the same way this woman did? Is it selfish of us to want to do this and not consider the child? HELP....