David Letterman's Top Ten Lists

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
David Letterman's Top Ten Lists
3
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 11:19pm
Top Ten Things Never Before Said by a Presidential Candidate

(presented by Dem. candidate John Edwards in clip above)


10. "Vote for me or I'll slash your tires"

9. "Forget universal health care -- I'm buying every American an XBox"

8. "In a crisis I ask myself, 'What would Tony Danza do?'?

7. "I'd give you my plan for economic recovery if I wasn't rip stinkin' drunk"

6. "If your last name begins with 'M' through 'Z,' sorry -- your taxes are doubling"

5. "We're gonna cut the deficit by selling North Dakota to Canada"

4. "I have tons of experience from being president of the Burt Reynolds fan club"

3. "Lady, that is one ugly baby"

2. "When I'm president, I'm putting Regis on Mt. Rushmore"

1. "Read my lips: no new wardrobe malfunctions"


Top Ten President Bush Excuses For Not Finding Weapons of Mass Destruction

10. "We've only looked through 99% of the country"

9. "We spent entire budget making those playing cards"

8. "Containers are labeled in some crazy language"

7. "They must have been stolen by some of them evil X-Men mutants"

6. "Did I say Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? I meant they have goats"

5. "How are we supposed to find weapons of mass destruction when we can't even find Cheney?"

4. "Still screwed up because of Daylight Savings Time"

3. "When you're trying to find something, it's always in the last place you look, am I right, people?"

2. "Let's face it -- I ain't exactly a genius"

1. "Geraldo took them"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 11:21pm
And here's the link to watch the clip of John Edwards!

http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/dave_tv/ls_dtv_comedy_clips.shtml

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2000
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 11:57pm

>"5. "How are we supposed to find weapons of mass destruction when we can't even find Cheney?" "<


Love this one.

 


Photobucket&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 10:38am
AH HA HA HA!

Miffy