Family seeks to end bullying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2000
Family seeks to end bullying.
5
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 11:28am

Almost every day there's a horrifying story about bullying by children culminating in suicides, murders, depression.


What are your thoughts?  Is this bullying becoming an epidemic? What's the cause? Solutions?


http://www.lenconnect.com/articles/2004/02/13/news/news04.txt


A family in the Madison School District says school administrators are not doing enough to curb bullying.


Marcia Walker told the Madison board of education at its meeting Monday that since the second week of school this year, her sixth-grade daughter, Megan DeLaney, and eighth-grade son, Martin DeLaney, have been taunted, struck, tripped and had objects thrown at them.


She admitted that her children have retaliated, and agreed they should be punished for doing so, but added that they have reacted out of frustration.


Prior to Monday's board meeting, Walker said her son was suspended last week for three days after yelling at his bus driver when she would not intervene while he was being bullied on the bus.


"I cannot take it anymore," Martin DeLaney tearfully and angrily told board members Monday. "I have a collection in my room of stuff that was thrown at me."


Walker also spoke through tears, with an edge in her voice. "I'm tired of feeling the pain that my kids feel," she said. It is emotionally draining this family."


"I thought we had it under control," James Hartley, Madison Superintendent, told the board Monday. "It's been a challenge, frankly, to work with (Walker)," he added, and described her as screaming at him on the phone and hanging up on him.


Walker admitted losing her temper with Hartley but said it was because the problem continued for so long.


"I agree with Mrs. Walker and we will work with any parent and student to make the school a safe place," said Brad Anschuetz, Madison Middle School/High School assistant principal, during Monday's meeting. "We are operating under a system of proving what happened to you."


"It sounds like we've got to finish up the investigation, to get a couple of more witnesses," Madison board president Walter Hill said to Walker and Delaney.


Hartley said a security camera shared among the district's bus fleet would be put back into use after repairs. He said administrators would discipline students as necessary and report back to the family by the next board meeting, adding that some students already had been disciplined for participating in the bullying.


He advised Walker and DeLaney to work with local police on incidents occurring outside of school hours. DeLaney said he had done so, to no effect.


"The chief of police told me it was my fault," DeLaney said.


Madison Township Police Department Chief Gerald Haensler was unavailable for comment, and a duty officer did not return calls seeking comment.


Madison Middle School/High School Principal Connie Ries said after the meeting that school officials have implemented anti-bullying initiatives at the middle school.


In addition to the video camera on buses, Ries said steps taken include conflict resolution and anger management groups led by guidance counselors and placing staff monitors in hallways.


She said one-on-one counseling also is offered and added that some students may either bully others or become victims because of patterns of domestic violence in their own homes.


Tougher law on bullying gets nod. Is this the answer?


>"The measure would expand the current law to cover elementary schools as well as middle and high schools. It also would allow parents and students to make anonymous tips to their local schools and would require that all reports of bullying be investigated.
 
The legislation also rewrites the definition of bullying, which is now a student's "willful attempt or threat to inflict injury," or an "intentional display of force" to provoke fear. Under the new definition, bullying would be "any pattern of written or verbal expression or any physical act or gesture that is intended to ridicule, humiliate, intimidate, or cause measurable physical or emotional distress upon one or more students in the school, on school grounds, in school vehicles, at designated school bus stops, or at school activities or sanctioned events.""<


Quote from.......


http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/legislature/0204/13legbully.html


Local Schools Aim To Thwart Bullying
AMA Says 3.2 Million Children Victims Of Daily Bullying.

More..................


http://www.thechamplainchannel.com/education/2844815/detail.html

cl-Libraone





 


Photobucket&nbs

Avatar for goofyfoot
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 4:05pm
<>

I wonder at what point it is considered "measurable physical or emotional distress". Some bullying is good for kids- it teaches them what the real world is all about and forces them to learn confrontational skills. Of course when it spirals out of control and is in the extreme, then it must be stopped.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 4:25pm
Years ago when my children were in elementary school and were getting harassed if not outright bullied, I came up with a short list of options to try. My children were told to implement only as far as was needed to take care of the problem. The first was IGNORE THE BULLY, the second was TELL THEM TO STOP, FIRMLY AND LOUDLY, the third thing was TELL THE TEACHER OR SOME OTHER FIGURE OF AUTHORITY, and lastly was RETALIATE AS INTENSELY AS YOU CAN. I had real issues with that last one but there were problems with school teachers addressing the issue and I didn't want my children to be helpless victims.

I think we have a hard time with the issue of bullies for several reasons. Too often, it's covert and therefore hard to both know the causes and administer immediate appropriate consequences. It's also difficult to know how to handle the situation when escalation takes place even though bullies make first contact.

There's also the same issue with bullies as there is with the issue of incarceration. Where do you focus your efforts--on rehabilitation (of the bully) or punishment?

What's the definition of "bullying"? Is it limited to actual physical contact? Verbal intimidation and innuendo--are they bullying?

Lastly, bullying is so pervasive. Just about everybody has at least one bully story to tell.

It won't resolve the issue but I feel strongly that at least some of the cure would be to develop empathy, how it feels to be on the receiving end of bullying, and at the same time not to have that develop into some kind of pecking order. I seem to recall reading that many bullies have themselves been bullied or abused.

Just my thoughts.

Gettingahandle

Ignorance is Nature's most abundant fuel for decision making.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 4:30pm
Small wonder we can't address the issue of bullying if people think that "some bullying is good for kids". They're children, for crying out loud, and it's not "the real world"--where God knows we could do without bullies too.

Show me one child psychologist who thinks that some bullying is good for kids.

Gettingahandle

Ignorance is Nature's most abundant fuel for decision making.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 6:19pm

I don't know that it's becoming epidemic, but I do believe that people are starting to understand that it's NOT just 'kids being kids'.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 4:27pm
I'm a big fan of conflict resolution and anger management being taught in class. It would help more than just the 'bullying' issue and is much more cost-effective than dealing with the issue after the fact.