From the "What were they thinking?" file
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| Mon, 04-12-2004 - 1:16pm |
Rabbit season
Sunday, April 11, 2004
By Dennis Roddy
Among the year's Lenten oddities was a presentation in Glassport during which the Easter Bunny was flogged and, by all accounts, taken through several of the Stations of the Cross.
This titanic clash of secular and religious worldviews took place courtesy of the Glassport Assembly of God church, which convened spectators in a local stadium for what many thought would be a traditional Easter egg hunt. Instead, the bunny was whipped, informed of its non-existence and inducted into the mayhem that passes for the Paschal mystery in a post-Mel Gibson society.
"They were chasing the rabbit with all the things they had -- a spear, the whips," said Michelle Bertok, who took her sons, ages 3 and 6, to what she assumed was a garden-variety municipal Easter Egg hunt.
Instead, children who entered were handed collection bags for their eggs, bags that already held religious literature which, when you think about it, makes sense for Easter. Glassport is a town with a large measure for tolerance. People of all varieties of creed exist together pleasantly, which might explain why Bertok and a neighbor, Melissa Salzmann, sat for 45 minutes trying to figure out why a Christian church was flogging the Easter Bunny and precisely when their kids would get on the field to pick up the eggs without losing a limb.
The church's youth minister, Patty Bickerton, who served as title character in The Passion of the Bunny, said she attempted to be lighthearted in her presentation but let's face it -- when one flogs the Easter Bunny, it's hard to maintain a merry ambience.
"It was a nightmare," said Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 6-year-old son. She derived an important clue about where things were going, she said, when the narrator spoke the following: "I don't know how many of you children have seen 'The Passion of the Christ'... "
Given that the Easter Egg Hunt was geared toward children under 12, and that "The Passion of the Christ" is rated R, last Saturday's Easter Bunny Festival of Whup-Butt would have had little point of reference.
Attempts to obtain some explanation from the church were met with the sort of reaction one expects from Christians who have been told to prepare themselves to be persecuted for their faith but never imagined it would come from supporters of a fake rabbit.
"It's a little crazy that we try to have youth group around here and we get battered by the press," complained a young man who answered the telephone and announced that Bickerton would not be available on this day or any foreseeable date on the Christian calendar. The Assembly opted, instead, to proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ by faxed statement:
"As we shared with everyone who attended the event, Easter is not all about egg hunts and Easter bunnies. The message of Easter is the Good News of our Lord."
It does not take a genius to figure out what the Assemblies of God members were trying to convey. Clearly the message was the irrationality of assuming for a minute that a fairy-tale creature bearing baskets of candy -- a dental hygienist's worst possible Santa -- would have any role in a holiday dedicated to sacrifice, resurrection and redemption.
Then again, while it does not take a genius, it does take someone with slightly more sophistication than the children who attended the pageant to grasp the meaning of the bizarre spectacle offered one week ago. The crime was not sacrilege, nor even indecorum. The good people of Glassport Assembly had substituted a religious icon with a secular one without adequate explanation and had done so without warning a secular society of its meaning. People were disoriented which, in a small town is a fate worse than beating.
But the level of disorientation seemed to work both ways last week. The church's prepared statement had the celebratory atmospherics of a group that had no idea it had done anything inappropriate.
"We were excited to convey the Gospel message to the children who attended by using the Resurrection Eggs to convey the Easter story from the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem to the empty tomb on Easter morning. We also used live illustrated videos to portray the life-changing powers of our risen Lord to reach the teenagers and adults who attended the event," the statement reads.
It would have been useful to have a little more explanation about what they mean by "live illustrated videos," which might have been the skits they performed. One, according to Salzmann and Bertok, featured a young woman who ritually mutilates herself and a young man who depicts an alcoholic in full-flower.
"Of course," the release adds, "the afternoon would not have been complete without the 4,000 Easter Egg Hunt. Many donated prizes were distributed ..." It is useful to note that not everybody got a prize. Salzmann, Bertok, their children and a few other families had left in confusion.
"I was crying in the car," Salzmann said. "This was supposed to be a family outing."
"The main thing was they were telling the kids there was no Easter Bunny," complained Bertok.
Well, of course there isn't. At least in Glassport, if he knows what's good for him.

I'm glad you posted this. I heard a fraction of this on the news but not the entire 'display'. What is wrong with these folks? Poor little kids. Probably traumatized them for like.
Sounds more