The Feminization Of America

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
The Feminization Of America
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Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:12pm
I don't always agree with his columns (who does) but he is a compelling writer and this column is no different. I think he is right for the most part on this one.


http://www.fredoneverything.net/FOE_Frame_Column.htm

Driving Down Unknown Roads

The Feminization Of America

March 29, 2004

In the United States women are, I think for the first time in history, gaining real power. Often nations have had queens, heiresses, and female aristocrats. These do not amount to much. Today women occupy positions of genuine authority in fields that matter, as for example publishing, journalism, and academia. They control education through high school. Politicians scramble for their votes. They control the divorce courts and usually get their way with things that matter to them.

If this is not unprecedented, I do not know of the precedent. What will be the consequences?

Men have controlled the world through most of history so we know what they do: build things, break things, invent things, compete with each other fiercely and often pointlessly, and fight endless wars that seem to them justifiable at the time but that, seen from afar, are just what males do. The unanswered question is what women would, or will, do. How will their increasing influence reshape the polity?

Women and men want very different things and therefore very different worlds. Men want sex, freedom, and adventure; women want security, pleasantness, and someone to care about (or for)them. Both like power. Men use it to conquer their neighbors whether in business or war, women to impose security and pleasantness.

I do not suggest that the instinctive behavior of women is necessarily bad, nor that of men necessarily good. I do suggest that that the effects will be profound, probably irreversible, and not necessarily entirely to the liking of either sex. The question may be whether one fears most being conquered or being nicened to death.

Consider what is called the Nanny State by men, who feel smothered by it, but is accepted if not supported by women, who see it as protective and caring. (Yes, I know that there are exceptions and degrees in all of this, and no, I don’t have polling data.) Note that women are much more concerned than are men about health and well-being. Women worry about second-hand smoke, outlawing guns, lowering the allowable blood-alcohol levels for drivers, making little boys wear helmets while riding bicycles, and outlawing such forms of violence as dodge ball or the use of plastic ray guns. Much of this is demonstrably irrational, but that is the nature of instincts. (Neither is the male tendency to form armed bands and attack anyone within reach a pinnacle of reason.)

The implications of female influence for freedom, at least as men understand the word, are not good. Women will accept restrictions on their behavior if in doing so they feel more secure. They have less need of freedom, which is not particularly important in living a secure, orderly, routine, and comfortable life. They tend not to see political correctness as irritating, but as keeping people from saying unpleasant things.

The growing feminizaton accounts for much of the decline in the schools. The hostility to competition of any sort is an expression of the female desire for pleasantness; competition is a mild form of combat, by which men are attracted and women repelled. The emphasis on how children feel about each other instead of on what they learn is profoundly female (as for that matter is the associated fascination with psychotherapy). The drugging of male schoolchildren into passivity is the imposition of pleasantness by chemical means. Little boys are not nice, but fidgety wild men writ small who, bored out of their skulls, tend to rowdiness. They are also hard for the average woman to control and, since male teachers are absent, gelded, or terrified of litigious parents, expulsion and resort to the police fill the void. The oft-repeated suspension of boys for drawing soldiers or playing space war is, methinks, a quietly hysterical attempt to assuage formless insecurity.

The change in marriage and the deterioration of the family are likewise the results of the growth of political power of women. Whether this is good or bad remains to be seen, but it is assuredly happening. Divorce became common because women wanted to get out of unsatisfactory marriages. In divorce women usually want the children, and have the clout to get them. But someone has to feed the young. Thus the vindictive pursuit of divorced fathers who won’t or can’t pay child support. And thus the rise of the government as de facto father to provide welfare, tax breaks, daycare, and otherwise behave as a virtual husband.

When women entered a male workplace, they found that they didn’t much like it. Men told off-color jokes, looked at protuberant body parts, engaged in rough verbal sparring as a form of social interaction, and behaved in accord with rules that women didn’t and don’t understand. Women had the influence to change things, and did. Laws grew like kudzu to ban sexual harassment, whether real or imagined. Affirmative action, in addition to being a naked power grab, avoids competition and therefore making the losers feel bad. It degrades the performance of organizations, sometimes seriously, but performance is a preoccupation of males.

Men are capable of malignant government, whether authoritarian or totalitarian, as witness North Korea or the Russia of Stalin. I don’t know whether women would behave as badly if they had the power. (I’d guess not.) But women have their own totalitarian tendencies. They will if allowed impose a seamless tyranny of suffocating safety, social control, and political propriety. Men are happy for men to be men and women to be women; women want us all to be women.

The United States becomes daily more a woman’s world: comfortable, safe, with few outlets for a man’s desire for risk. The America of wild empty country, of guns and fishing and hunting, of physical labor and hot rods and schoolyard fights, has turned gradually into a land of shopping malls and sensible cars and bureaucracy. Risk is now mostly artificial and not very risky. There is skydiving and scuba and you can still find places to go fast on motorcycles, but it gets harder. Jobs increasingly require the feminine virtues of patience, accommodation to routine, and subordination of performance to civility. Just about everything that once defined masculinity is now denounced as “macho,” a hostile word embodying the female incomprehension of men.

A case can be made that a feminized world would (or will) be preferable to a masculine. Perhaps. It is males who bomb cities and shoot people in Seven-Elevens. Yet the experiment has not been made. I suspect we will have the worst of both worlds: a nation in which men at the top engage in the usual wars and, a step below, women impose inutterable boredom.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:11pm
"How you can have any opinion beyond empathy is beyond me."

Not sure what that means. I certainly would have my opinions although the situation wouldn't be appropriate to talk about them, which is why I wouldn't. I would show more than empathy. Sympathy would be a minimum.

"Best to let women decide for themselves what course they wish to follow. Life begins at conception is not provable, and a foetus is a foetus is a foetus. "

I'm sorry. I believe life does begin at conception. Therefore I believe the person has a right to live. A fetus is just a smaller less developed person. However, this is a debate that will not be solved here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:27pm
>>Exactly perfect. Let the free market weed out the people who discriminate by letting them fail.<<

Bzzzzzzzzzzzt. Wrong.

The failure of the company does not eliminate the injustice done to the person who was discriminated against... thus the ability to legally sue and recover, and thus the ability of authorities to step in.

>>All valid points. And you are correct women equally involved would likely have made a better civilization. Here is where we will likely split. I believe men and women have innate personality traits. Men are driven to explore, to conquer, build, and yes to fight. We are more naturally competitive and aggressive.<<

Perhaps... though I know women you would tangle with at your peril. I do not accept that aggression that crosses the boundaries of personal space is good. Competitive is fine... and by the way, the most competitive person I've ever met is a woman (a former cohost of mine on iV.)

>>Women are more nurturing and communicative.<<

Again in general... wouldn't you wish to be more nurtiring and communicative? Both are excellent traits or skills to possess. These are all generalisations, some women have them, some don't, some men do, some don't, and then there is all the range in between. But continuing on with it... my mom was in the emergency room a few months back. A doctor comes in to see the patient beside her, and is asking him to describe how he felt. He couldn't do it... and that is unfortunately common with men, they have not developed an ability to take what is inside them and share it with another... and empathy goes hand in hand with that... you share of yourself, another shares with you, and that is why the bonds of friendship between women can get so tight and so multi-layered, simply able to share more of ourselves, and to let others in.

>>I still believe men would need to take the lead based on our innate "instincts".<<

Every woman I ever worked for was a superb leader.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:31pm
>>Not sure what that means. I certainly would have my opinions although the situation wouldn't be appropriate to talk about them, which is why I wouldn't. I would show more than empathy. Sympathy would be a minimum.<<

It means "she was raped and what matters is her well being." I care about her, about how it impacts her mentally and physically, now and in the future. To heck with whether the foetus should survive, it is irrelevant in this scenario.

"I'm sorry. I believe life does begin at conception. Therefore I believe the person has a right to live. A fetus is just a smaller less developed person. However, this is a debate that will not be solved here."

Kewl, you can believe the world came to be in 6 days as well, that does not make it so. No one relishes the thought of aborting, it is emotionally draining, but sometimes it is the right decision to make.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:41pm
"The failure of the company does not eliminate the injustice done to the person who was discriminated against... "

Yes but when the ramifications of their discrimination is made evident other companies will stop discriminating. Not because they care so much about being fair but it is in their best interest.

What better justice then the person to lose their business? Granted the "victim" doesn't line their pockets but the get more than money. Or is that the end goal?

Of course they are generalities. There are always exceptions. We are speaking of generalities because it would be impossible to address every alternative to every issue.

"Again in general... wouldn't you wish to be more nurtiring and communicative? Both are excellent traits or skills to possess"

Sure and they are excellent traits and skills. They just come more naturally to women. It is similar to the economic theory of competitive advantage. While I could do something if it takes more effort for me than another I will defer to the person who can do the same tasks with less effort or cost. My wife is more nurturing. I am loving to my children and very compassionate but sometimes they just need a mother's hug. I understand that and am glad they can get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:46pm
"To heck with whether the foetus should survive, it is irrelevant in this scenario"

Another human's life isn't irrelevant, it is paramount.

"Kewl, you can believe the world came to be in 6 days as well, that does not make it so."

You can believe life begins at birth, that does not make it so.

"aborting, it is emotionally draining"

No, it is life draining.

"but sometimes it is the right decision to make."

Cant see that.

This thread is a dead issue really.

You believe life begins at birth (or some other time)

I believe it begins at conception.

We will not agree so debating abortion is useless. We will likely never agree. Unless you change your mind.

JIm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:53pm
>>What better justice then the person to lose their business? Granted the "victim" doesn't line their pockets but the get more than money. Or is that the end goal?<<

A person was discriminated against. Discrimination can have internal and external consequences for someone. The marketplace is an imperfect way of handling these issues, and regulation is most definitely necessary. Look at history... the marketplace could not handle injuries on the job, the government had to step in to correct it. You place too much faith in what the marketplace can do.

>>My wife is more nurturing. I am loving to my children and very compassionate but sometimes they just need a mother's hug. I understand that and am glad they can get it.<<

Have you ever wished you could have that closeness? My dad never hugged me, and wish all to hell he had.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:57pm
>>Another human's life isn't irrelevant, it is paramount.<<

Sorry, woman comes first. The foetus is nothing without her body creating it.

>>You can believe life begins at birth, that does not make it so.<<

True, but it is our bodies, and we call the shots on what is best for us, like it or not.

>>Cant see that.<<

To quote Lennon and McCartney "living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see..."


Don't hold your breath waiting for me to change my mind, or for choice to go away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 2:00pm
"You place too much faith in what the marketplace can do."

Maybe, maybe you don't have enough faith in it.

"Have you ever wished you could have that closeness?"

I did and do.

"My dad never hugged me, and wish all to hell he had. "

My father was very much the same way. My children don't have that problem. Kisses and hugs are given out daily between my children and I. I come home from work, kiss the wife and run off and play with my son and daughter. They are still young enough that they enjoy playing with dad. It starts with a hug and kiss and usually ends with the 3 of us rolling on the floor while my wife swears up and down she has 3 kids.

JIm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 2:02pm
"Sorry, woman comes first."

Most abortions don't occur because of a crime. The woman did come first. She chose to have sex.

"To quote Lennon and McCartney "living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see..." "

I couldn't agree more...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 4:30pm
>>Maybe, maybe you don't have enough faith in it.<<

I've worked in the insurance field, have two designations that count for 18 hours of graduate course credit related to it... I know the market mechanisms of insurance very well, particularly in the p & c area... and strict regulation is *essential*.

>>They are still young enough that they enjoy playing with dad. It starts with a hug and kiss and usually ends with the 3 of us rolling on the floor while my wife swears up and down she has 3 kids.<<

:-)

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