So Sad For The Children
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| Wed, 07-15-2009 - 5:53pm |
When this was first in the news, I wasn't particularly supportive of her choice, but I could understand her desire to have children. I wondered whether she would be there for them, or whether she would succumb to one of the many illnesses/diseases of older age before they grew up. Sadly, the children are without their mother and father:
Maria del Carmen Bousada, World's Oldest New Mother Who Gave Birth At 66 Reported Dead
July 15, 2009
MADRID — A Spanish woman believed to have become the world's oldest new mother when she gave birth at age 66 has died, leaving behind twin toddlers, newspapers reported Tuesday.
Maria del Carmen Bousada, who reportedly died Saturday at age 69, gave birth in December 2006 as a single mother after getting in vitro fertilization treatment.
She told an interviewer she lied to a California fertility clinic about her age, and maintained that because her mother had lived to be 101, she had a good chance of living long enough to raise a child.
Bousada's death was reported by the newspaper El Mundo and Diario de Cadiz. Cadiz is the southern province where Bousada lived her whole life.
Diario de Cadiz quoted her brother, Ricardo Bousada, as confirming her death but refusing to disclose the cause. The newspaper said she had been diagnosed with a tumor shortly after giving birth.
There was no word on who would raise the children, named Pau and Christian. Bousada had once said she would look for a younger man to help her raise them.
In January 2007, she told the British tabloid News of the World that she sold her house to raise $59,000 to pay for the in vitro fertilization.
"I think everyone should become a mother at the right time for them," Bousada said in a video of the interview provided to Associated Press Television News.
"Often circumstances put you between a rock and a hard place, and maybe things shouldn't have been done in the way they were done, but that was the only way to achieve the thing I had always dreamed of, and I did it," she said.
The retired department store employee said she told the Pacific Fertility Center in Los Angeles that she was 55 – the clinic's cut-off for treating single women. She said the clinic did not ask her for identification.
Bousada lived with her mother most of her life in Cadiz. She hatched her plan to have children after her mother died in 2005, she said, initially keeping her plan secret from her family. When she finally told them she was two months pregnant, they thought she was joking.
"Yes, I am old of course, but if I live as long as my mom did, imagine, I could even have grandchildren," she said in the video.>>>
~OPAL~ 

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< In my opinion there's nothing wrong with giving life, whatever the age. >
Really? How do you feel about the unmarried 13 year old girl who wants to become pregnant so she can have a baby to love? Would you advise her to follow her heart? How about the single woman who already has children from different fathers and who supports herself with your welfare dollars? Should she intentionally get pregnant?
Hmm, so I'm aware that this is a board, dear, which is why I decided to partake in a healthy discussion. If you felt threatened then maybe you need to cool off and realize that I wasn't attacking anyone, I too and sharing MY views. Thought that was allowed...
So you see...I was trying to create a more empathetic connection, and there was no religious comparison whatsoever. I could have said temple, it didn't matter. I used what I said to make a correlation between one subject (church) and (condemning others) to show the art of hypocrisy in another light. This is called an analogy. You see? It was just another way to provide an example of a hypocrite. I was making an attempt to state my views in such a way that it provided an analogy, so that even you could understand. Perhaps not simple enough? If this is too much, keep it to yourself. I don't really care.
I was simply stating that we should really look at our own choices in our own lives before we go judge others for their choices and call them idiots for it. I'm not a saint. I definitely mess up, never said I didn't. I'm just not judging others for actions like hers (my choice again) because I just don't see the point in doing so. What good does it do. How are we more right for thinking that? Did you maybe think that shes not stupid just because you think she is? Did you ever stop to think that maybe your opinion isn't necessarily true or untrue?
Also, I never said the children would physically see this message board (that's a ridiculous assumption), maybe read what I said again or something because you make no sense. I simply made another analogy (my bad). Basically it could have been restated "put yourself in someone else's shoes" (and no, honey, not literally). Oh well, just another perspective that I'd very much hoped you'd have gained or at the least entertained the notion of.
And lastly, since this is a matter of a mother and her children I would expect she loved them enough to give them life. If she made a choice to have them then she did in fact gave them life. Also,I can only assume that she loved them like most mothers do, but who knows maybe your right and I'm wrong on that one. However,I didn't know my daughter before she was born (duh) but I loved her and also gave her life, so I don't exactly know what you were trying to say there. Try to make more sense next time when responding or maybe don't think so hard at all.
I didn't say anything about advising or promoting the situation. I was simply stating that it happened...okay.. what does our approval or disapproval or judgment do? Yea she was old, I wouldn't do it, I couldn't imagine being a 66 yr old mom, however, she could and she did...sooo,who am I to judge every action that I wouldn't do, especially when it isn't a dire matter, other than giving people something to gossip about ... I'm not going to villanize dead woman because of her life choices to become a mom. Though unconventional,her choice doesn't make her this awful person that your okay with making her out to be.
Your example isn't exactly on the same lines as what I was saying. First of all I'm talking about the actions or a 66 yr old woman, not a 13 that right old girl. I'm talking about an adult who is capable of making adult decisions. At what point do we deny people thatright?
But, in response to the absolute worst excuse at attempting to make a point, EVER! I will say that I don't promote 13 yr old girls having babies just because they want one; they hardly understand matters of the heart,but a 66 year old might.
I guess I should have been more specific. Your example is horriffically in stark contrast to what I was actually saying.
The choices of a woman and a child obviously differ for different reasons, a woman's is usually based on maturity. So I was obviously implying "at any age" at the fact that we were discussing the article and the article was talking about an older mom.I should have been more specific to avoid the confusion, but once again I was assuming and not realizing that intelligence obviously isn't a participation requirement. However despite my disagreement with the choice, I bet 13 year old moms do have real love towards their babies too.I wouldn't recommend it or promote it like you implied I would do, however I don't condemn it (as in stand there and look down on someone), not my place.
I didn't say what anyone should or should not do folks. I Simply talked about how I felt about ONE story,one situation. How does the fact that because I see nothing wrong with this specific situation (the one in the article for those who aren't following) that should mean I automatically support certain other specific situations which are entirely unrelated?
Nice assumption, are you trying to make some kind of point besides the fact that you're letting my opinion somehow effect you? Or are you just saying that your the type to twist it until it fits your description? Now your just judging me and my opinion in the same manner you were judging the woman in the article, simply because it is different and that you disagree. I get it, cool,to her his/her own. What's your point exactly? I believe I asked and I ask again, what was it that she did wrong besides living life differently than you've lived or will live yours? Besides that, there's no room for judgement. That's all I was saying. I think I just put it in a thousand different ways, lemme know if you're still confused.
Threatened? No. Averse to participation in a thread here being labeled "stupid" or a "waste of time"? Yes. When you share such "healthy" views, do be prepared for a less than welcoming response.
Am not sure with whom you were attempting to create an "empathetic connection". Other much older women without spouses contemplating in-vitro procedures? So they can have the same experience as that of Ms Bousada? Doesn't seem very intelligent, given the actuarial odds, to encourage such risky behavior. At least, not if the primary concern is the wellbeing of the offspring.
One reference to sitting in church does not an analogy make, at least not one of any particular note or merit. As far as an admonishment to "keep it to yourself", no, don't believe I shall. Condescension from another who has not posted here recently (if at all) doesn't sit particularly well, "honey".
Your line of "reasoning" seems to be that one cannot comment here if one has ever made a mistake. Bye-bye board, under that "logic"! You also specifically mentioned that "those children wouldn't appreciate all the negative things small minded people have to say about their mother." What I have written here is unlikely to ever trouble those children if your pressing concern was for their personal pain. And if the intent was to compel silence on a discussion/debate board, one has to marvel at the gall.
My opinion is just that. Opinion. There is no "true" or "not true". Those labels are for statements meant to be taken as fact. I might change my opinion after learning more but the change would be just that, a change. Nothing more, nothing less.
You gave no insight whatsoever to lend any sympathy to Ms Bousada. In fact, quite the opposite, thanks to the tone of your input. But you need not apologize. Ms Bousada's own actions (lying about her age, expecting a lengthy life based on her mother's span, keeping her pregnancy secret for two months) were ample enough to indict and find her guilty in the court of mature behavior and good sense. Then there are her words "I think everyone should become a mother at the right time for them". A person who thinks 66 is the right time is seriously self-deluded, self-absorbed and/or clueless.
You cannot "love" a person or being which does not yet exist. Love the idea maybe, the future for which you hope. Perhaps the difference was hard for you to understand--but there is one. I love my children too but always understood that "love" would not be enough to rear them. As mentioned earlier, it takes a lot of time, energy, persistence, and courage to see one's children into adulthood as mine are. And even then, they are still likely to call with cares and concerns, still plucking at my heartstrings, still often needing more than just facile words or easy emotions.
One wonders at the "love" which does not reck the passage of time, the demands of parenting, the fact of mortality. I sincerely hope Ms Bousard loved her children once they arrived to make arrangements for them in the event of her demise. But based on her earlier decisions, doesn't seem likely.
As regards my thoughts and how I express them, have striven for clarity but if there's anything you find particularly difficult to understand, do let me know. I can use simple sentences and single syllable words if that's helpful for you.
Jabberwocka
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