What's With All the Violence?
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| Fri, 11-13-2009 - 11:35am |
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=7928981&page=1&page=1
I stumbled upon the above story last night. Imagine my shock when I realized I'd once known this kid.
He and my son played together when they were about 5 years old. They went to kindergarten together. We lived about a block apart. I knew his mom; she was a typical, good mother with 3 kids. Andrew was the oldest. He seemed like a typical, happy little boy.
What in the world happened to this child? Something is absolutely wrong here, and I'm not pointing at this particular individual. Something is wrong, period, that violence is becoming the answer to so many people's problems. These aren't isolated incidents. We can't even call these people nuts anymore. There are too many of them, and if "nuts" is the reason then we've become a society of insanity.
No, something else is wrong. There simply can't be this many violent people in a society without some rational explanation. I knew this child. I knew his family. Sure, we moved away and I haven't had contact with them for many years, but this was not a child (even grown up) I would have ever pegged for violent behavior. Investigating further, there were accusations of ADHD, etc., in his school years, but there again, why the sudden population explosion of these types of children? In the 12 years I was in school, ADD had never been heard of and no one I knew ever became a murderer.
I feel so bad for Andrew's mother. I can't even imagine the heartache something like this must cause a parent. She was very much a caring, loving mom when I knew her, and I'm sure this has devastated her (as well, as the victim's families).
Why? Why are these things happening so much? We absolutely HAVE to find out. This is becoming a crisis in our nation. Too many good people are becoming victims to violence one way or another.


I don't understand either. I don't quite understand why the solution to problems seems to be to act out violently against others. Noone wants to place blame on media portrayals, exposure to violent video games, etc. but I have to wonder if there isn't a certain desensitization process that happens, through constant exposure, to this kind of thing as "entertainment." I think of it this way. I worked in veterinary clinics for years. We did some pretty gnarly surgeries-animals
You mentioned a lot of variables, and in and of themselves they might have an effect on people, but I'm inclined to believe there is something else that is causing people to lose control.
And that's what it is - a complete and utter loss of self-control. Every single one of us has faced hardship and heartache and have, at some time in our lives, felt betrayed and hurt and angry...but what separates those who turn those feelings into violence and those who don't?
**Something has gone awry in us. It seems most of the causes for violent behavior aren't holding much water anymore.
Two articles re: Drs. concerns about the effect of media and the "bystander effect"
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/media-violence-sex-threaten-kids-pediatricians/story?id=8866443&page=1
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/bystanders-teen-raped/story?id=8948465
I don't think it's just one thing that is the culprit.
I also think it's the psychology of the present day, the experts don't want us to shame people when they do something wrong, it's the shame that makes us think and realize that we are doing something wrong.
I agree with you on some level there. I'll take it back to my dds Kindy class. There is a boy, very large, biggest in the class. His dad is a cop. This boy has his hands all over the other kids. He leans on them physically. He throws his arms around their necks and wrestles them down to the ground "all in fun." Chooses a girl of the day to be "his girlfriend" and pushes up against them and into their space.
At one time I would have agreed with you, but I'm not so sure now.
I've been a single parent and my son hasn't had contact with his father for over 10 years. While my son faced some teen problems, he
((.....You know, your basic nightmare already at 5. But if another kid gets fed up with him being all over him and pushes back, it's the end of the world. Then his parents are all over the teacher and principal to "do something" about the OTHER child....))
I totally know this kid. It seems that every classroom has one. I did a long-term sub job for 1st grade and after that stint...I am a FIRM believer in cameras in the classroom. I think parents should be able to see just how disrespectful or disruptive their child can actually be.
It seems that too many parents don't ever think that "Little Johnny" would ever do such a thing....he's a regular perfect angel. Ha!
Cameras in the classroom! Just like on the buses. It would protect BOTH the students and the teachers. Cameras don't lie.
**I think people (and not just young ones) have lost sight of of who they are. So many of them see no future for themselves. They bob about life like a toy boat in the ocean, never really getting anywhere. I think there's an epidemic of arrested development; people who are stuck at age 15, or 18, or 25 and never mature beyond that emotional level. As life heaps on more and more demands, they can't cope because they literally haven't matured to a point where they take on real life. ***
But the line of fantasy and reality is so much more vague and people don't really have to leave it for long if they don't want to. Yes we watched Gunsmoke,