Ladies in Waiting c/p

Avatar for cloverboomolyneaux
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Ladies in Waiting c/p
5
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 4:48pm
I wrote this one for the goddesses in the middle east who have lost their lives to the horrible war and terrorism. I'm not sure how I should punctuate this one. Thank you.



Ladies in Waiting


Marriage gathered their magic daughters

and placed them in violent sandalwood hands

those hands they loved so dearly

turned against ivory cheeks and maternal lips

ordered by a king who wore fragrant cologne

and a double edged sword

his intent was a little more than evil

young lady's in white and black veils

beware of worthy boyhood woodlands

their words splice hearts in twain

not worth the blood spilled from your veins

look not toward bronze paged palaces

man made fantasies of flesh and bone

their jewels speak of tainted life

only to rip away our thrones

beggars slay young streets

searching for silver slime getaways

heaving bodies in grey teeth sisterns

this is no time for play

beware the worthy boyhood woodlands

of looming greenhead cathedrals

hear exquisite lute music instead

force your eyes to face your shuttle

Rebecca Lynn Jennings


Avatar for ihaveturtledovelove
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 5:18pm
This is wonderful. I'm not in a frame of mind to try and punctuate, but I think the content is suberb. Thank you for sharing it.

~Aubs

Avatar for cl_pat305
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 8:59am
I'm not sure if you even SHOULD...it would read just as perfectly by allowing breaks and caps to do the dirty work. For what it's worth, here you go:

Ladies in Waiting

Marriage gathered their magic daughters

and placed them in violent sandalwood hands;

those hands they loved so dearly

turned against ivory cheeks and maternal lips

ordered by a king who wore fragrant cologne

and a double-edged sword,

his intent was a little more than evil.

Young ladies in white and black veils:

beware of worthy boyhood woodlands,

their words splice hearts in twain

not worth the blood spilled from your veins.

Look not toward bronze paged palaces;

man-made fantasies of flesh and bone.

their jewels speak of tainted life

only to rip away our thrones.

Beggars slay young streets

searching for silver slime getaways,

heaving bodies in grey teeth sisterns . . .

this is no time for play.

Beware the worthy boyhood woodlands

of looming greenhead cathedrals,

hear exquisite lute music instead

force your eyes to face your shuttle.


Rebecca - whew! When you go deep, you don't play. Kudos!

 


"It is with a strange malice / That I distort the world." 
 -- from The W

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2000
Mon, 04-28-2003 - 11:39am
May I print this, please?

only one nit

Cange lady's to ladies

Embrace change.
Avatar for cloverboomolyneaux
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 5:07pm
I'm glad you like this one, and you can print anything of mine you'd like :). Thank you.

Rebecca

p.s.

I will change lady's to ladies... thanks again

Avatar for cloverboomolyneaux
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 5:09pm
Ladies in Waiting

Marriage gathered their magic daughters

and placed them in violent sandalwood hands

those hands they loved so dearly

turned against ivory cheeks and maternal lips

ordered by a king who wore fragrant cologne

and a double edged sword

his intent was a little more than evil

young ladies in white and black veils

beware of worthy boyhood woodlands

their words splice hearts in twain

not worth the blood spilled from your veins

look not toward bronze paged palaces

man made fantasies of flesh and bone

their jewels speak of tainted life

only to rip away our thrones

beggars slay young streets

searching for silver slime getaways

heaving bodies in grey teeth sisterns

this is no time for play

beware the worthy boyhood woodlands

of looming greenhead cathedrals

hear exquisite lute music instead

force your eyes to face your shuttle