This is a funny one...

Avatar for rainita2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
This is a funny one...
19
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 5:38pm
A friend of mine forward me this...

George W's Resume

The White House, USA

GEORGE W. BUSH

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I spent the US surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury.

I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history (not easy)!

I set an economic record for the most personal bankruptcies filed in any 12

month period.

I set all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock

market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal

record.

In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on

vacation by any president in US history (tough to beat my dad's, but I did).

After taking off almost the entire month of August off for vacation, I

presided over the worst security failure in US history.

I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in US

history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.

I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other

president in US history.

I set the all-time record for most real estate foreclosures in a12-month

period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any

president in US history. (check out their criminal records on smoking

gun.com)

I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president, since

the advent of TV.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any

other US president in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to

intervene when corruption was revealed.

I cut health care benefits for war veterans.





I attacked and took over two countries.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take

to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for

protest against any person in the

history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history.

(The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker

named after her.)

I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union

simultaneously struggle against bankruptcy.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in

any country in the history of the world.

I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military

occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the

United Nations and the vast majority of the international community.

I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history

of the United States, called the "Bureau of Homeland Security"(only one

letter away from BS).

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more

than any other president in US history (Ronnie was tough to beat, but I did

it!!).

I am the first president in US history to compel the United Nations remove

the US from the Human Rights Commission.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the

US from the Elections Monitoring Board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of

congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default

no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election

inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.

I am the all-time US (and world) record holder

for most corporate campaign donations. The biggest lifetime contributor to

my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the

largest corporate bankruptcy

frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US

history.

I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and

then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than a year

made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest

diplomatic failure in US and world

history).

I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of

Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and

stability.

I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government

contracts.

I set the all-time record for the number of administration appointees who

violated US Law by not selling their huge investments in corporations

bidding for gov't contracts.

I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any

other president in US history. In a little over two years I have created the

most divided country in decades,

possibly the most divided that the US has been since the Civil War.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than

two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving

record has been erased and is not available).

I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during time of

war. I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug

use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my

fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt

companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the

board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public

energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PERSONAL REFERENCES:

For personal references, please speak to my dad or Uncle James Baker

(They can be reached in their offices at the Carlyle Group where they are

helping to divide up the spoils of the US-Iraq war and plan for the next

one.)

(Note: this information should be useful to voters

in the 2004 election. Circulate to as many citizens you think would be

helped to be reminded about his record.)


What kind of president does USA have? My God!!

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 11:57am
What I find funny about this post is that someone actually spent this much time typing this up. It is full of inaccuracy, and half truths, and own right lies. I am sorry...I have a life and do not have the time to refute the many, many inaccurate statements made here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-31-2003 - 11:31am
Yes, this is funny, but it is also sad. I am sure the conservatives here will cry that there are some things noted that may stretch the truth. Enough of it is accurate, though, to point out that Bush is not the God that the Republicans think.

Sadly it points out that "we" are as bad as "they" are in smearing candidates.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-31-2003 - 7:25pm
What Republicans don't seem to understand is that Bush is to be out to touch with "regular" Americans people, which helped to defefeat Daddy Bush. When many Americans are unemployed the Shrub is on vacation in Texas! Bush vacations as Iraq burns!
Avatar for goofyfoot
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 4:19pm
The DNC most likely came up with this. Afterall, THIS is how they're running their

campaigns to beat Bush in the next election!
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 8:38pm
Hahahaha!!! Yes I agree...They have no one better so they just attack Bush.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 2:04am
Hi,

LOL! There were a few things in there I must have missed in the news....gonna have to go back and check them out.

Cheers,

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 11:52pm
<< Bush vacations as Iraq burns!

Iraq is burining? I havent seen that in the news lately.

Do you get your information beamed into your home from Mars?

I will agree with one thing, I think that even though the President is entitled to a vacation, he could have made it a little shorter....just my thoughts though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 2:02pm
Yes but it pales in comparison to the time and money Republicans spent on Kenneth Starr in an effort to discredit another president.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 9:18pm
<<>>

Lmao...It would have been minimal if Bubba would have just told the truth....OR better yet kept his pants zipped.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 10:26am
<>

People weem to forget that Starr was in the picture and a lot of money was spent waayyy before the Lewinski thing.

It is true though, he should have admitted the truth (which brought up the question of honesty). However, a leader's sex life in and of it's self is really a minor matter in the grand scheme of things.

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