Bush's Resume
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| Mon, 07-19-2004 - 3:22pm |
Past work experience:
I ran for congress and lost.
I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went
bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took
land using taxpayer money.
Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa.
With my father's help and nearly the same name, was elected Governor of
Texas.
Accomplishments:
I changed pollution laws for oil and power companies and made Texas the
most polluted state in the nation.
I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in
America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government in billions in borrowed
money. I Set record for most executions by any governor in American
history.
I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes,
with the help of my brother Jeb and aid of Republican appointments to the
Supreme Court.
Accomplishments as president:
I attacked and took over two countries.
I spent the country's surplus and bankrupted the treasury. I shattered the
record for biggest annual deficit in history. I set economic record for
most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
I set all-time record for biggest stock market drop in its history.
I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal
record. In my first year in office set the all-time record for most
vacation days taken by any president.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over
the worst security failure in US history.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips of any other
president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
president in US history.
I set the all-time record for the most mortgage foreclosures in a 12 month
period. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions
than any president in US history.
I set the record for the lowest number of press conferences than any
president since the invention of television.
I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history. I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to
use the national reserves as past presidents have.
I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take
to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history.
The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
named after her.
I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states bankrupted at
the same time.
I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in
any country in the history of the world.
I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military
occupation of a sovereign nation.
I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of
the United States.
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases,
more than any president in US history, while at the same time proposing tax cuts.
I gave giant tax breaks to the rich while cutting social services to the
aged and poor.
I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove
the US from the human rights commission.
I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove
the US from the elections monitoring board.
My administration has the least amount of congressional oversight than any in US history.
I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war, as prescribed
by the Geneva Convention.
I hold the record for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best
friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in
world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
history.
I am the first president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign
nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of
Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
stability.
I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I set all-time records for the number of administration appointees who
violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for
government contracts.
I failed to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of
our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have
no leads and zero suspects.
I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other
president in US history.
In a little over two years I created the most divided country in decades,
possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the Civil War.
I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than
two years every economic category plunged.
Records and References:
I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
record has been erased and is not available).
I was AWOL from National Guard for 13 months.
Records from my tenure as governor of Texas are in my father's library,
unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt
companies are sealed and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board
are sealed and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war profiteering).

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Funny how the (embarrassing) truth can leave even the most obnoxious speechless!
~mark~
And BTW, since when does humor keep anyone on this board from arguing the point? ;)
I agree!! There is an entire thread revolved around an email someone got about Mrs. Heinz-Kerry that, quite ironically, was false.
My son totally agrees with the great move Bush made in trading Sammy, but then the White Sox also made the same move!! The upside is that the Sox are in first place while the Cubs are too far down to even consider being a wild-card.
I think by this point, most people here have made up their mind about Bush or Kerry. No one will get me to change my mind and I think most people feel the exact same way. So now all we have is humor to get us through till November.
Edited 7/21/2004 4:08 pm ET ET by sondra_wins
"I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America."
Which then shortly reverted to LA. The reason? The weather, changes in the respective weather patterns. It had little or nothing to do with Bush or his actions as governor.
http://www.climateark.org/articles/2001/4th/smdoinho.htm
There are others of course, but the biggest, most consistent fallacy inherent to the list is the personal manner in which all of it is attributed to Bush, ignoring all other factors in favor of disparaging him. That's the primary reason I felt it wasn't worthy of serious comment.
~mark~
Yeah, I gotcha.
"OK, let's see: he's not a good businessman,"
This matters why? It's congress that ultimately makes budgetary decisions, as it's them that has to okay the budget he submits.
"he makes terrible decisions, he cheats the system wherever he can, his only real power stems from what his father can do FOR him,"
All opinion, not objective fact.
"he made damaging decisions as governor,"
Who doesn't? Are you expecting perfection or something? Keep right on waiting.
"as president he has bankrupt this country, both morally and financially (much like that oil company),"
Forgetting again that Congress, not the president, has the final say in the budget (to include tax cuts). The Congress okay'd his actions in Iraq as well. In addition, in times of national emergency or internation conflict the country ALWAYS runs a deficit. Not saying that deficit spending is good, as it's not, but it is a reality under certain conditions.
"his decisions have hurt people but profited corporations,"
The same can be said of any president. One thing you're missing here is that unless corporations survive and prosper, the people can't.
"many of his (legal) embarrassments have "disappeared" or been sealed,"
I'll go with you on this point.
"he has lied to the American people (about more than a blow job),"
That's largely opinion as well, as you would have to be able to discern between acting in good faith on bad information and the deliberate promotion of known falsehood, something neither you nor anyone else has been able to do.
"and all this qualifies him to be President of the United States?"
Yes, as perfection isn't a requirement. Try looking in the Constitution for the real qualifications to be president.
Besides which, I never said he was a good or bad president. What I took issue with was the personal attribution of all those "facts" to him, including many issues which he personally has little or no influence over and those which have little relevance to his presidency.
~mark~
No, few if any are undeniable facts. The problem is, it takes two seconds to paste up a lengthy list that's floating aorund on the internet, but infinitely more time and effort to sit and refute each and every point, as they are all individual topics that could be debated. Where shall I start? Choose a point or two and I'll be happy to reply, but my general reply is that it is a piece filled with distortions and misrepresentations of the facts.
Thank you for describing the Bush Administration!
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