How the DNC convention started
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| Sat, 07-31-2004 - 9:41pm |
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The infotainment started the eve prior to the DNC's confab, when phony frontrunner John ''Fastball'' Kerry snuck into town to throw out the first pitch for Sunday's game between the Red Sox and Yankees. Against a backdrop of competing cheers and jeers, Kerry wound up and hurled one into the dirt well in front of his catcher, a 23-year-old Massachusetts native and Afghanistan/Iraq War veteran.
Apparently, Kerry's medal-tossing arm (or were those ribbons he tossed?) isn't what it used to be. Nonetheless, he proved he can still come up short when delivering to America's military personnel.
Earlier, when asked who his favorite Red Sox player was, Kerry responded, ''Manny Ortez.'' The Sox do field Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, but there is no ''Manny Ortez'' on the roster. (We hasten to add, however, that ''Manny Ortez'' was closer to the mark than the response Kerry gave the last time he was asked that question: ''My favorite Red Sox player of all time is 'The Walking Man,' Eddie Yost.'' Yost never played for the Red Sox.)
Not to be outdone by her husband's sneak preview, Ms. Teresa (Tuh-RAY-zuh) Heinz (or ''Kerry'' depending on the audience) was across town telling her home-state (Pennsylvania) delegates that some of the rhetoric coming out of the Democrat Party is ''un-Pennsylvanian--and sometimes un-American.'' A few minutes later, Colin McNickle, editorial page editor of the conservative-leaning Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, questioned Ms. Heinz about what she meant by ''un-American,'' to which she responded angrily, ''I didn't say that. You're putting words in my mouth. I didn't say that.''
When pressed by McNickle, whose paper is published near one of the many Heinz-Kerry estates, the opinionated ketchup heiress let loose with, ''You said something I didn't say. Now shove it.'' Gotta love Democratic tolerance.
Fortunately for the Demos, the Heinz-Kerry handlers whisked them out of town before they could provide any more embarrassments ahead of Monday's opening ceremonies. But unfortunately for the Demos, they failed to take convention speaker Christie Vilsack, wife of Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack, with them. Indeed, Ms. Vilsack provided plenty of amusement Monday morning in a Boston Herald Op-Ed, observing, ''I am fascinated by the way some African-Americans speak to each other in an English I struggle to understand.'' She then added that Southerners seem to have ''slurred speech,'' and ''the only way I can speak like residents of Pennsylvania and New Jersey is to let my jaw drop an inch and talk with my mouth in an 'O' like a fish.'' Thank you, Ms. Vilsack!
Yup... a party united.... indeed.... a party hostile to the rich Bush and Cheney... a party who nominated richer Kerry and Edwards.
A party which wants to lower insurance for americans, but whose VP gained his wealth increasing premiums on those same americans.
What a country, what a party :-)!!!
