Shattered c/p

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Shattered c/p
7
Tue, 10-28-2003 - 12:52pm

SHATTERED


I lost my vision


to the pain and rage


My eyes were filled


with blackness,


as was my heart


Avatar for tripylife
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-28-2003 - 1:53pm

Hi Cat,


I know this place well!

 

Avatar for cl_pat305
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-28-2003 - 3:48pm
You know what really impressed me here?

 


"It is with a strange malice / That I distort the world." 
 -- from The W

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-28-2003 - 4:19pm
Very well done! Yes, the endings to each stanza were perfect. You definitely got my attention.

Lil

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 10-29-2003 - 4:26am

Hi maria and thanks. No I am not in the middle of this tumoil now, thankfully. When things began to crash with me and my son's father he did something that really wigged me out and I wrote it then. I have just edited out the woe is me I am sorry for me crap and hoped to have left the core, the poem it should have been


Thanks again


Cat

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 10-29-2003 - 4:41am

LOL


Thanks Pat. The praise is encouraging that is for sure. I did want the last line to be a killer but in a soft and hopeless sort of why, hence the drowning. You make me want to just write write wrtie, you are so positive.... I am inspired to do wonderful things (or at least try)


Thanks zillions


Cat

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 10-29-2003 - 4:51am

Thank you so much Lil. I am glad you liked it


Avatar for cl_pat305
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 10-29-2003 - 7:32am

Awww - you say the nicest things.


P.S.

 


"It is with a strange malice / That I distort the world." 
 -- from The W