Spread the word to end the word

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Spread the word to end the word
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 10:04am


Ok, I posted this link once, and it disappeared, so sorry if this is a duplicate, but it looks like my first posting disappeared.

Please give my your thoughts on the use of the "R" word.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 10:12am

I don't really think of this as a political issue, but it seems that ANY attempt to have people re-consider the words they use in polite society divides people into political camps, and accusations of "PC run amok".

I think really it is an issue of civility and good manners. What do you think ? Good manners, or Political Correctness run amok ?

Is it EVER OK to use the word as a perjorative ?

If you don't mind, could you share your thoughts on the is use of the "R word" (or putting "tard" at the end of a word to create a word) and also your political affiliations ?

I am a democrat, I consider the word impolite, although (I am ashamed to say ) I have been guilty of using it, but I want to eliminate it from my vocabulary.

Is this something that people across the political spectrum can agree on ?


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2009
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 2:53pm

Interesting question.

"Taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society."

       Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2010
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 4:48pm

I agree. Don't see how this is political, Sarah Palin's typical creation of controversy notwithstanding.

The 1990s showed that if we as a nation did more for our people, whether they are poor, with special needs, working class, middle class or anyone other than super rich, we would all be a lot better off.
We generated far more jobs, had a much greater lead over our competitors like China, and had a government that was fiscally stable which by the end of the decade generated huge surpluses.

Greed. Selfishness. Meanness. Those are the things we and our government can and should guard against.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2010
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 6:42pm

'A rose by any other name...'

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 6:58pm

Thanks for your response.

I grew up having a severely developmentally challenged cousin, so the "R" words was absolutely forbidden in our family. (could get us in more trouble than the F word) So there was a time when that word would never cross my lips.

Having been living away from my family of origin, I have grown lax, and it has snuck into my vocabulary, although ususally not directed at a person, but a thing or situation. However, I've always had a slight twinge of guilt over it, due to my cousin.

I caught myself saying it at work, (again, in regards to a situation, not a person, I believe I was frustrated with the procedural changes being institued where I work, and all the going back and forth, procedures changing on a daily basis, contradictory messages being sent, etc., and I blurted something out about another retarded e-mail telling us another procedural change or some such thing. Then I paused to think about what I said, because one of my co-workers has a developmentally challenged child, and I really, really, hoped she didn't hear me.

I didn't know there was a movement to raise awareness that the word is hurtful. But now that I know, I am going to tame my tongue in that respect. I don't think it's a HUGE sacrifice to have to jettison the "R" word. It has long been considered impolite anyway, and if we can refrain from the usual swear words, I can refrain from this.

I think I will substitute the word "Ridiculous", because most situations or things that I call "r-------" are really just ridiculous.

Or I could be more precise in my lament. If a new procedure is confusing, I'll say it's confusing. If my computer is jammed up, and not working, and I can't understand the "Help" directions on my PC, I'll just say, I don't understand them, and they don't make sense, not that the Help directions are "R-------"

Now that I have been re-reminded that this word is very hurtful to people with disabilities, or who have family members who do, I'll be more careful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2010
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 10:59pm

I have a child with special needs. My view, for what it's worth, is that you should not be so hard on yourself for a few slips. Actions speak louder than words.

Private and public action is needed, not just on behalf of those with special needs but also the poor, the working class, the middle class (who are trying to compete with abused labor in China with a devalued Chinese currency), and basically everyone but the super rich. A thousand points of light alone is not sufficient. Government, on the other hand, repeatedly has helped or saved millions of Americans in need or during times of crises.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 8:47am
TY !
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 12:57pm

My mother reprimanded us for using the word, so I grew up using it only when speaking of slowing down while playing a musical piece:)

When I've heard our DSs using it, I've always told them to find a different word but I'm not sure I was as effective as my mom was with me and my siblings.

Has it been used in movies and TV shows? Is that whay our kids began using it even though it's not used by some of us mid-lifers? (I'm 54 and rarely watch TV/movies; DSs are 20 & 26.)