Worried about Others' Reactions at Goal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Worried about Others' Reactions at Goal?
14
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 5:05pm

The post about saggy skin got me thinking.

 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 5:35pm
Lol..Yeppppp...My biggest thing is a too big head for a small body lmbo...omg..that so got me laughing...you know how you see some people after only knowing them as fat and they lose all the weight and their bodies look HOT but their heads look HUGE!!

HAHAHA...omg..I am laughing like a friggin baboon now

April
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 5:51pm

oh rely....you will be a hot little thing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 5:52pm

LOL, you two are too cute!

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 7:23pm
I know what you mean, I think about that pretty often. I know that whatever I end up looking like it's got to be better than now, but I'm afraid I'll work so hard to lose the weight only to *still* be disappointed by what I see in the mirror. I've never, ever been thin (well, maybe when I was 2!) so I really have no idea what to expect. I know my DH loves me no matter what I look like, but I wonder what he'll *really* think if I do have the saggy skin, he gets kinda grossed out seeing people on tv who've lost a lot of weight and are saggy all over. Oh, and I'm pretty sure my boobs aren't going to be a pretty sight, LOL!

Oh well, for now I'll just dream about that hourglass figure...my shoulder and hip bones are about the same width, so who knows, maybe I'll even get lucky, LOL!!

Amanda

282/255/150

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 8:00pm
I was reading this, and it just dawned on me what an adjustment this will be for my hubby. In my case he married me at a size 7. He already knows what i used to be like. H e isnt the jealous type, but he didnt like it when men would hit on me in front of him. I bet he is feeling a bit insecure about his own looks. He has gained a good 60 pounds since we have been together. It is just now dawning on me that our marriage will be going through a bit of a adjustment too. Not that that is bad, but Im shocked I never considered my husband was going to be dealing with his own insecurity issues. Im really glad I read this post. It was very helpful to me. maybe your boyfriend, will be worried about measuring up in your eyes? Sometimes men find it comforting to be with a heavy women, when they lose weight some men may possibly feel the relationship is then somehow less secure. Im not saying this is applicable to your own situation, I just remembered reading a psychology article on this topic, a few years back. jenz
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 10:22pm
LOL!!!!! Thanks alot though, there's another thing to worry about lol!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 10:27pm

LMAO Shawna at the roll over in bed saying "What the hell?".

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 10:37pm

Amanda, I've never been skinny either.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 12:00am
I wouldn't worry Rely. Your companion doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would:

1) sabatage your weight loss by buying you chocolates;

2) keep you from seeing your friends b/c of inappropriate jealousy;

3) become abusive to cover up his own insecurities.

No doubt weight loss does have an effect on a relationship. A lot of us have posted about wanting to enjoy sex more as one of our goals, after all. But I think your relationship's chances of surviving are greater when you lose weight slowly.

I've known an equal number of couples who have gone through "the surgery" change. Two have split, two have stayed together. Losing the weight that quickly, though, has caused interpersonal difficulties for ALL the couples. It changes communication, sex, body language, relations with others outside of the primary relationship, self concepts, relationship concepts. Everything!

My advice:

Your companion has volunteered to join you in your weight loss. Take this opportunity to share this as one of several adventures to come and build self-confidence together. (Warning: You won't build self-confidence if it becomes a competition to see who can lose faster.)

He is feeling as insecure about your not loving him when you reach goal as you are about him not liking your body when you get there. He has the greater risk. You already know he loves your body -- fat or not.

He needs a warm-fuzzy. Give him one. If he says NOW, "You would never leave your Tommy." Then tell him you won't THEN either. You will never regret telling someone how much you love them -- only the times you didn't tell them enough.

Good God! I cannot believe I am taking the guy's side here!

Blessings ... and be gone with all this mushy stuff! I'm gonna go get laid by my next ex and chalk up more exercise points!!!!

S_C

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 12:05am
.


Edited 11/29/2003 4:28:40 PM ET by pat_made_it

Pages