I weigh 310...I need help and support!
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I weigh 310...I need help and support!
| Sat, 11-22-2003 - 5:31pm |
My name is Shannon, I'm 24, and I am obese...do you how long it took me to fathom saying the word "obese?" I weigh 310 pounds and am only 5'4". I have tried everything to lose weight, but have been unsuccessful. I have come to the conclusion that I know more about nutrition than most thin people, but I can't seem to put it into action. The thought that I have to lose half of myself is staggering. I have been successful at almost everything in my life, except this. I truly believe that deep down, I've put on this thick layer of fat to protect myself against people. I grew up hurting (divorce, abuse, death of my mom, etc). Since then, however, I've made a valid effort to rise above my childhood...and I have. I put myself through college and graduated just last year. I have an outstanding, lucrative job. And most importantly to me, is that I found my soul mate, David. We're getting married soon. I feel like all this fat keeps me from being truly intimate with him. It gets in the way. It pushes him away. And I'm tired of it. It also causes my knees to hurt and for me to be out of breath going up stairs. I don't know where to turn, what program to use, where to go. I have a really bad thyroid, but even that should allow me to still lose weight, since I'm on medication. I'm sick of my excuses. I just need your help. Any suggestions are immensely appreciated. This site is great; I'm learning so much from reading your posts.

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Shannon,
I certainly understand where you are coming from with keeping the fat as insulation against the potential damage of other people. What I've had to come to terms with on that score is that the fat is like my anger -- it isn't hurting anyone except me. Heck, most of the people I've been angry with in my life either never knew it or are dead now. Time to give it up. I need to look at that same rationalization to get fat out of my life. It may be the same for you.
Like Rely, I recommend fitday.com. It lets you journal online and easily keep track of calories consumed and used. I would add, try to look at mini-goals. That is easier than trying to think of loosing a whole person.
Blessings to you on your new adventure,
S_C
Hi there Shannon =)
I'm sitting here saying OMG because you sound so much like me. Errr... except for the finding my mate bit. But.. that aside, it sounds so familiar. I'm 5'5", 323 and as of today, I'm getting healthy.
There is no logistical advice I can give and besides, you dont need it. I will give you a *hug* and tell you that this is your decision to make. You *CAN* do this. It isn't a bad thing to let yourself be the beautiful, happy, healthy, sexy person you know you have inside of you but have been hidding away for so long.
Shannon, you found someone you love and loves you. This is such a beautiful new beginning. With this new start maybe it's time for you to let the emotionally protective layer of fat insulation go too. It isnt going to be easy.
I've held onto my own insulation for years. I've always had this insane idea that if I ever let myself be the super healthy, sexy woman I know I am inside that I would somehow turn into this insatiable slut, a porn star, the shame of my family and *then* probably become involved with another gorgeous yet abusive man who would break my heart. Gah. Yes, I probably could use a few years of therapy. *grin* Point is... all my irrational thinking is just that. irrational. I'm not going to turn into a superslut. I'm wise enough now not to date married men, drug dealers or men who have nicknames usually found only in B rated Mob movies.
Shannon, the ladies here have been angels to me. I know they will be here for you too. Just like I will be. If you ever need or want to talk my email is llfrau01@louisville.edu
*hugs*
Lisa Lynn
Hello and welcome! You are in the right place. These ladies keep me in line and offer much support, advice and hugs! Post often!
Deb 270/228/145ish (updated 4/19/04. Next weigh-in: 6/1/04)
Just wanted to give you some encouragement! I am 28 and weighed in at 276 pounds on a 5'5" frame. I am doing Atkins and have been since August 25, 2003. I know it's not the plan for everyone but for me it is working and working well. I had 141 pounds to lose...now I have 105. It's still a long way to go but it's getting more manageable by the day!
I also have a list of mini-goals about 2-3 pound increments apart. That way I can cross one off every week or two. It may seem insignificant but it really helps...here, take a look at my list:
Goodbye 270's
10# lost
10% of goal lost
Goodbye 260's
20# lost
25# lost
Goodbye 250's
below DL weight!
20% of goal lost
30# lost
Caity's weight lost (my 3 year old daughter-she's about 30 pounds)
109 to go
35# lost
Goodbye 240's
40# lost
100# to go
30% of goal lost
45# lost
Goodbye 230's
50# lost!!
55# lost
40% of goal lost
Goodbye 220's
60# lost
65# lost
Goodbye 210's
70# lost
HALFWAY THERE!
75# lost
ONE-DERLAND!
80# lost
60% of goal lost
85# lost
Goodbye 190's
90# lost
95# lost
Goodbye 180's
70% of goal lost
100# LOST
105# lost
Goodbye 170's
110# lost
80% of goal lost
115# lost
Goodbye 160's
120# lost
125# lost
Goodbye 150's
90% of goal lost
130# lost
135# lost
Goodbye 140's
140# lost
GOAL!!!!
I feel the same way about my fat...it is a protective thing and an excuse to not have to do things (I am by nature shy but I am coming out of my shell). So far I've lost 36 pounds and 41.25". I have never lost more than 10 pounds in my life...EVER.
For me, I had been talking and talking for years and then I literally woke up one day and said, "I am going to do this". And my mind was set. I use my "weaknesses" to my advantage. For instance, my need to please everyone...I have told as many people as I possibly can that I am losing weight...not *trying* to lose weight...I *am* losing weight. That way, I have many people to hold me accountable and I don't want to disappoint anyone so it is extra motivation to stick to it. Of course, I am doing this for me...but I find that this extra motivation really helps during those tough days.
I am a massage therapist in a chiropractic office...I have clients who ask every Monday (my weigh in day) how much more I've lost. Some of my clients talk food to me...we discuss different eating plans and what works for them and what is working for me. I by no means tell people how to eat...that's not in my scope of practice. But when they ask me what plan I'm on I tell them and when they ask more about it I advise them to buy the book and READ IT.
So, my point with that little side-track is to say, do your research. Don't assume you know how to follow a plan if you've never actually read the book or had instruction from a person trained to show you how to follow that plan. For me Weight Watchers worked but it was hard for me to stick to...Atkins has been easy for me. Everyone is different. My Dad swears by weight watchers!
You can do this...you have to do it for you and you have to be ready to commit. If you aren't able to do BOTH of those things then it is going to be a tough road ahead. Losing weight is not easy...you've had 24 years to develop eating habits, they aren't going to change overnight. Do your best, don't beat yourself up, and most of all, find a way of eating that you can stick to for the rest of your life.
Big hugs and GOOD LUCK! We're here to support you on your journey!
Sarah
Edited 11/25/2003 4:09:23 AM ET by suamomi
Sarah
Sarah
Sarah
That gives me a lot of hope! Sorry I didn't respond earlier; I thought I did! I was reading it and realized I didn't respond to you! :) Sorry about that. You are doing incredibly well. I'm glad the Atkins program is working for you. Way to go!
Shannon
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