Newbie here....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Newbie here....
13
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 9:48pm
Hi,

I stumbled across this site and board while desperately seeking answers. I know the cliches';only change comes from inside, I have to want it bad enough, I'm in control, I can choose to be fat or thin...bla bla bla...all that stuff. But the fact is that I'm 40 years old, and have been fat my entire life. I'm currently at about 290 (I don't step on scales if at all possible) at 5'8" and understand that if I don't do something I'm setting myself up for heart disease, stroke, diabetes and basically a miserable decline. But all this hasn't stopped me from being a compulsive over-eater and ruining my life.

I'm sure on the outside I seem pretty normal (besides my obesity). I have a normal sized wife, beautiful son, nice house, good job (in sales despite being fat) and lots of friends. On the outside, I'm the life of the party, everyone tells my wife how funny and nice her husband is, but on the inside I'm screaming. I'm sick of this battle and sick of being tired all the time and being fat. I'm sick of being the guy with the great personality, but... and sick of feeling awkward whenever food or weight is discussed, feeling like everyone is looking at me...after all...I'm the fat guy at the table. I won't even go to the beach for fear Green Peace will try to push me back in the water (ok, I made that last one up...but you get the picture.) But in all honesty, I do try like heck to avoid public swimming because of the way I look.

I guess I'm looking for the answer(s) to how I stop shoving food into my face and hoping I can find it/them here. I looked up one of your websites and saw the 270 to 195 weight loss and it inspired me to at least type this note. Sometimes I feel all alone in this struggle and that no one understands my food obsession. Maybe I will never conquer my demons and I will end up dead at 43 like my father. Or maybe I will be like the young lady who went from 270 to 195 and transformed her life, and this is the first step.

I will be prowling the board looking for what, I'm not 100% sure. All I'm sure about is that being obese sucks. It sucked as a kid, it sucked as a teen and it still sucks now. That's a lot of sucking to tolerate and yet, I've done it. Thanks for letting me rant...

-Tim

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:43pm
Tim,

First of all, welcome to the board! It's great to see you!

Secondly, everyone here knows what you're feeling, you are not alone!!!

You sound to me like you want this plenty--cliche or not.

Have you ever thought about going to a dietition or nutritionist?? I go to one and I mean, it is never-ending support. My doctor is wonderful, and she put me on a plan that works for me. I didn't think I could cut down my portions, or my junk-food addiction...my perfect meal when I went to college was a big bag of crunchy Cheetos and a Dr Pepper. Believe me, I packed on that freshman 15 in about 2 weeks tops. And I used to be the one that, as soon as I was alone in the house, I would raid the pantry. East some chips out of every bag, a couple twinkies, a soda or 2...it was ridiculous. It was b/c I wanted to eat it...I also was lonely..as a teenage fat girl, it wasn't too easy to get a boyfriend...at least one that treated me with ANY espect.

You have a wonderful wife, as you said, and you need to have her help you out every step of the way. If you get a plan, show it to her, make sure you only get the portions you can have and help you to follow your plan.

Be strong and you will succeed! I promise you!

Sara

~Sayruhb02
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 12:01am
You are not alone! I am 5'4" and weighed what you do now two years ago. I'm only down to 250-ish now, but I did not start dieting two years ago. I only started this past summer. Also, I've been going at this very slowly -- more slowly than most on the board.

You are also not the only man who posts here. I don't know where "catfisherman" is lately, but I'm sure he will return to this fishing hole :-)

First bit of advice: keep a journal of your food. You can do so online at www.fitday.com, which tracks calories, activities, etc.

Second: See your doctor. This is a support board and we pass around a lot of information, but none of us are physicians.

Better get over that fear of swimming in public! You'll have an entirely new body next summer!

Blessings,

S_C

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 12:07am
Oh, btw, we do get into some cat fights here on occasion. Don't let it worry you. We are just working off all that energy we should have spent exercising. :-)

Blessings again,

S_C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 12:22am

Wow, Tim, your post nearly brought tears to my eyes!

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 12:45am

Tim........Welcome to the boards!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 9:52am
Tim, sweetie, you rant away.

Sometimes it is what has to be done... and sometimes openly voicing what has been inside for so long is the best first step a person can take to make a significant change in their life. ... it's what I did.

... and you're right, it DOES SUCK. It sucks in a way that few other things could possibly suck. Mostly because we have done this to ourselves. We are responsible for what has happened and we really can't blame this on anyone else. All this pain, social unease and general suckiness has been of our own doing in one way or another. The very idea that we could hurt ourselves so badly by shoving our emotions down with food, being too detached from life to get out and move our bodies or even remaining willfully uneducated as to what is the best way to care for ourselves is painful to admit. But there you have it. The amazing thing is that unlike someone who has lost a limb due to an accident or a person suffering some sort of irreversable cancer, we can correct our situation. It is more than possible. Change is literally in our hands... and yours too.

You have my support Tim.

Lisa Lynn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 7:54pm

Tim, my heart goes out to you.

Nichole

Biggest Loser Challenge

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 9:21pm
Hey Tim-Congratulations on being brave enough to share your feelings on the board. I too am feeling just sick and tired of being the fat girl with the great funny personality. I am tired of always wondering what others are thinking when I eat in public or go into one of the "plus size" shops. One day I got so angry that I just started walking as fast as I could to a park a mile away, which of course meant that I had to walk the mile back. I thought that I would just get angrier, but I was wrong. The walking felt so good, I felt empowered. Of course I've walked before in my life, but not with a mission. I knew then that this was it, I was doing something about my weight. The walking turned to better food choices and eventually led to me food journaling. I have never seriously dieted in my life before because I was always so afraid of having to deprive myself. It was terrifying. But once I really made the decision to do this I felt my self esteem rise up and I began to love keeping myself in check. I feel like I'm finally in control.

I'm only 23 pounds and seven weeks into this journey, but I'm feeling as good as day one. I screw up here and there, but I don't beat myself up over it because this is for life and if it takes me two years to take off the weight I don't care. Two years are going to go by regardless of whether I lose the weight or not. It's the difference of how I'll feel that will be the difference.

God Bless,

Mandy

284/261/170

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 9:24pm

"because this is for life and if it takes me two years to take off the weight I don't care. Two years are going to go by regardless of whether I lose the weight or not. It's the difference of how I'll feel that will be the difference."


That is so perfect!

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 10:08pm
Thanks everyone for the kind words and the words of encouragement. Yup, it was Shawna's website I was referring to. I just sat staring at the two photos thinking "this looks like two completely different women." And I started thinking about what I would look like 100 pounds lighter and how my life would be different. I've been fat so long, being fat is part of who I am. But not in a positive way, that's for sure. So tomorrow is day one. I've already seen a doctor, read books and articles on nutrition....I've just been ignoring what I have to do for all these years and keeping myself pacified by eating. It's time to break the cycle...I will prowl the boards and keep you posted....

Thanks again!!

-Tim

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