Need advice for a girlfriend...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Need advice for a girlfriend...
17
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 12:15pm
Need advice for a friend.

Her husband recently told her he's not "turned on" by her anymore and that he wants to sleep with other people for excitement. They've been together nearly 5 years. He says her size bothers him now, and she has gained about 35 lbs since they've been together. He also says he still loves her, wants her to be in his life and doesn't want a divorce; he just wants to sleep with other people. He insists that sex and love are two separate entities.

The best advice for me to give her would be......???????????????????????????

I don't know what to say to her. My initial reaction is to tell her to kill him in his sleep (He ran into my knife! He ran into my knife TEN TIMES!) but I also know that she adores this man- loves him more than anything except for his children who she's raised since day 1 of their relationship. She's the only mom they have and she will not leave them.

I don't know what to say to her. Any suggestions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 11:35am

Oh Shawna...It's okay....I have senoir moments too!


Deb

Deb 270/228/145ish  (updated 4/19/04. Next weigh-in: 6/1/04)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 8:09pm

Okay, I've big-timed delayed on responding to this.........but it's because it has really struck a nerve with me.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 7:59am

"....but I will give him credit for being honest with her instead of cheating on her"


Rely,


I totally agree with you, but I have to admit that the first thing that popped into MY mind was that he very well could already HAVE cheated on her... and now he feels guilty and is trying to justify it by getting her "permission"


I mean I know it sounds harsh but that's how most guys minds work ... sorry guys lol, but I've found this out by personal experience LOL

 
 
 
 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 10:44am

I thought the same thing Crystal.

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 11:52am

I know I personally would never be able to do that .... i mean if it was me, and my man just came up to me and said that ..... just with him merely requesting it, would make the relationship totally over in my eyes


I'd never be able to get it out of my mind again ... i'm the type, once bitten twice shy .... you hurt me once it's your fault, you hurt twice it's mine ... and if you hurt me once you will NEVER hurt me again, because as much as I try to be, when it comes to the big things I am not a forgiving person


but you know, me and my boyfriend we do sleep with other people, but as stated before, it was a mutual agreement BEFORE we even got together ... there's a huge difference there i think ... than to just have someone say "you're too fat, i wanna f*** other people"

 
 
 
 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 12:04pm

I completely

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 12:31pm

thats awesome :)


 
 
 
 

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